Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The Queen's Meme: The Bachelor's Dating Meme

Once again, Queen Mimi has come up with another clever gem of a meme. If you want to play along, click here.

By the way, before I continue, thanks to all who voted me out of the dungeon last week. It's thanks to you that I earned my freedom!

Now, onto the meme. This week's edition is based on all of those dating profiles you see online. Here are Mimi's instructions:

Take a look at these seven dating profile headlines from real dating sites. Imagine you are trying to find a date and these gems have just landed in your inbox. How would you respond to them? Write a comeback response to each one. Be sarcastic, be funny, be brave! Spelling errors not my own. Names and locations have been changed to protect the terminally single.

1. Birdbrain looking for a mate
Uh, sorry to disappoint you, but I just molted. You don't want to be a finely plumed poultry specimen next to a bald mate.

Seriously, though, you wanna look for a mate? Head on over to Perdue or Butterball. They've got plenty pickins over yonder.

2. Where Are All The Bad Girls?
"Friday night and the strip is hot sun's gone down and they're about to trot spirit's high and they look hot do you wanna get down now don't you ask yourself, who they are? like everybody else, they wanna be a star"

Thanks to Donna Summer for the inspiration.

3. A Good Woman Is Hard To Fine
Yes, that is certainly true. A good woman is hard to fine. If you meant to say a good woman is hard to refine, you've got problems, buddy. Don't go datin' just to change a woman to the one you want. Besides, I don't date people who don't know how to use spell check.

4. Does God Know You've Escaped From Heaven?
And did you know that you're a bat out of hell?

5. I Put the Fun in DysFUNctional
I've heard that line so many times, buddy. Here, go have yourself a slice of Velveeta. It'll do ya good.

6. Does this profile make me look fat?
It's not you, it's your font size.

7. I'm a no nonsince person with little tolorrance for stupitity
See #3. I think someone needs to make friends with spell check.


Jodi said...

Oh good Lord...whoever wrote #7 really needs to acquire Hooked On Phonics. Either that or make like Billy Madison and start over! That was just awful.

As a schoolteacher didn't you just want to get out your red pen and mark the screen up?? LOL!

septembermom said...

The font size comment made me laugh. The "fun" in dysfunctional is too funny.

Shellie said...

What a fun post and such funny and creative comebacks kitten. lol! I did so much internet dating before I met my husband and these are great examples of some of the stuff I came across. Excellent.