Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Lately I've been dreaming...

...about my college days.

If I were to post this on Facebook, I would say that I didn't know why.

But the truth is, I do know why.

A couple of weeks ago I had the opportunity to attend a workshop at my undergraduate institution. It's the kind of place where, every time I visit, I feel like I'm coming home. It will always have a special place in my heart.

But things have changed. A lot. There's so much construction on campus. My residence hall from senior year is being gutted and turned into apartments. Lots of new residence halls are being constructed. No new academic buildings are being constructed, though. The campus is now very crowded.

That was a very bittersweet feeling--walking around campus and seeing that everything was different. Lots of trees were cut down to make room for the new buildings. It wasn't the place where I went to school.

And then, over the past several nights, I've been dreaming about my undergrad days. And it's not just because of my visit there...lately I've been awash in many memories of the past.

It's inevitable in life that you drift apart from some friends, while making new ones. Some people leave your lives temporarily, only to return again, unexpectedly. Some people are meant to be in your lives forever, others only for a short time.

I'm in touch with quite a few of my college friends, but have grown apart from a lot of them, too. And lately, I've been really missing several of them. Some of them I've been missing so much that one of my dreams this week was about what my college life would have been like if I wasn't friends with the people I was friends with in college and beyond. Things were different. Very different.

I have one friend in particular whom I've known since freshman year. Lately our lives have taken completely different directions. My friend wants a family, and hangs out with her spouse's friends, mostly. I'm not quite headed in that direction yet. And I have another friend who's headed in the same direction; he hangs out primarily with his partner, his friends, and their kids.

And that leaves me...well, headed down another path.

And that's okay.

Sometimes I dream about college when I yearn for simpler times. For example, as much as I love to watch/read the news, I just can't watch it lately. Especially the election season here in Connecticut. Arrgh, too much stress...

Sometimes it just plain sucks to be an adult...

Other times, I'm pretty damn glad to be one. I look back at my senior year, and remember the feelings of bittersweetness. I didn't want to leave campus, but I also felt like I was trapped in a bubble. That protective bubble of the university gates. I was ready to move on, but at the same time, scared of what I'd face in the real world.

Well, it's time for bed now, ironically enough...what will I dream about tonight?

Thursday, September 16, 2010

A post about nothing

I haven't written since last Friday, when I informed the world that I don't have sleep apnea. It's been awhile since I've waited so long between posts. Lots has been going on, lots of good stuff, lots of activities to keep me busy, but nothing I'm ready to blog about yet.

I felt the need to post tonight, but I don't know what to write about. I guess I'm just posting for the sake of posting.

Kinda like that show about nothing...Seinfeld.

Which, in my opinion, is one of the most over-rated shows ever to have been produced. No offense to you Seinfeld fans, but I found the characters to be very self-absorbed.

Papa Cat loves that show. So much I've bought him the first three seasons on DVD. He has watched them, and also watches the reruns on TBS. I believe he's seen every episode at least four or five times. It drives Mama Cat crazy.

TBS. Home of Conan's new show. November 8th. Fifty-three days from this writing.

Writing a post about nothing turned out to be a post about random. This was kinda fun. Maybe I should do this again...

Friday, September 10, 2010

My sleep study results are in...

...and I don't have sleep apnea! Woo-hoo! Excited!

However, it was determined that I have "disrupted sleep issues, and I could benefit from medication." I have a couple of friends who are on Ambien, and now they can't sleep without it. Literally. One tried to wean herself off, with her doctor's assistance, and just couldn't do it. She needed the drug in order to fall asleep.

So, I'm making some small changes. No caffeine after lunchtime. Meditating before sleep. Not falling asleep to the news, but with a good book. Nothing to eat after 8 PM. Only thinking positive thoughts as I drift to dreamland. Write down whatever's bothering me on a bad by my nightstand, so I don't process those things and wake up to nightmares.

So I'm relieved to be healthy...and not to have to go for a blasted sleep study again. I've had many bad nights of sleep, but that one was clearly the worst night of sleep I ever had!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Writers Workshop: This one just spoke to me

This week's prompt, courtesy of Mama Kat:

A list of things you no longer have in common with your married/child bearing friends...and why you love them anyways.

Considering the increasing number of friends that I have that are going this route, I thought it was appropriate for me to choose. Hell, take it a step further and say that it's God's way of trying to tell me something. So here goes.


1. Spouses
For obvious reasons--because I lack one.

2. Children (if they have children)
I am childless. Unless you count my fur-babies. Which I don't think Mama Kat is taking into consideration here.

3. A minivan, or vehicle equipped for young children or growing families
I've got a four-door sedan with keyless entry and auto start. And cupholders for when I eat/drink on the run.

4. A house
I have a two-bedroom condo.

5. Toys littered all over the house/floor
I'm not familiar with anything Little Tykes or Playskool makes nowadays--unless you count the items I see at my friends' houses.

6. Family picnics/vacations
The primary reason why I rarely see my married/child bearing friends these days--time is spent with the family.

7. Playdates
Every time I hear a group of mothers converse about "mom stuff," it's as if they're speaking a foreign language. Same with a group of childless married women talking about their husbands/domestic partners.

8. 529 accounts
Lots of moms I know received savings bonds when their kids were born/baptized/turned a year old. They promptly put them into college savings accounts. I do not have such an account for my fur-babies, even though I think they're smart enough to earn a PhD or discover a cure for cancer.

9. Facebook newsfeeds full of pictures of their children
Wanna see some pictures of my cats? No! Of course you don't! Growing children are far more interesting!

10. Time

It's hard to find someone to go to the movies with nowadays. My friends' schedules revolve around feeding times, playdates, and other meetings with fellow moms. Or, if they're married and childless, date nights with their spouses. Or their domestic partners, if they aren't married.

So why do I love my friends so, even though we have less in common now?

1. They make me laugh.
I don't need to say any more than that.

2. They were there with me during my formative years, and even though I had my share of screw-ups, they stuck around.
My friends' loyalty is amazing.

3. We can get together after not seeing each other for a very, very long time, and it's as if we saw each other five minutes ago.
We can talk for hours and hours and hours before we realize what time it is.

Thanks Mama Kat. I really needed a slice of perspective this week.

Friday, September 3, 2010

The coolest Emmys opening EVER.

It has Springsteen and Glee. Two of my favorite things. Oh, and Jimmy Fallon, too. :)