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This week's prompt, courtesy of Mama Kat:
A list of things you no longer have in common with your married/child bearing friends...and why you love them anyways.
Considering the increasing number of friends that I have that are going this route, I thought it was appropriate for me to choose. Hell, take it a step further and say that it's God's way of trying to tell me something. So here goes.
WHAT I NO LONGER HAVE IN COMMON WITH MY MARRIED/CHILD BEARING FRIENDS, A LIST CREATED BY KITTEN
1. Spouses
For obvious reasons--because I lack one.
2. Children (if they have children)
I am childless. Unless you count my fur-babies. Which I don't think Mama Kat is taking into consideration here.
3. A minivan, or vehicle equipped for young children or growing families
I've got a four-door sedan with keyless entry and auto start. And cupholders for when I eat/drink on the run.
4. A house
I have a two-bedroom condo.
5. Toys littered all over the house/floor
I'm not familiar with anything Little Tykes or Playskool makes nowadays--unless you count the items I see at my friends' houses.
6. Family picnics/vacations
The primary reason why I rarely see my married/child bearing friends these days--time is spent with the family.
7. Playdates
Every time I hear a group of mothers converse about "mom stuff," it's as if they're speaking a foreign language. Same with a group of childless married women talking about their husbands/domestic partners.
8. 529 accounts
Lots of moms I know received savings bonds when their kids were born/baptized/turned a year old. They promptly put them into college savings accounts. I do not have such an account for my fur-babies, even though I think they're smart enough to earn a PhD or discover a cure for cancer.
9. Facebook newsfeeds full of pictures of their children
Wanna see some pictures of my cats? No! Of course you don't! Growing children are far more interesting!
10. Time
It's hard to find someone to go to the movies with nowadays. My friends' schedules revolve around feeding times, playdates, and other meetings with fellow moms. Or, if they're married and childless, date nights with their spouses. Or their domestic partners, if they aren't married.
So why do I love my friends so, even though we have less in common now?
1. They make me laugh.
I don't need to say any more than that.
2. They were there with me during my formative years, and even though I had my share of screw-ups, they stuck around.
My friends' loyalty is amazing.
3. We can get together after not seeing each other for a very, very long time, and it's as if we saw each other five minutes ago.
We can talk for hours and hours and hours before we realize what time it is.
Thanks Mama Kat. I really needed a slice of perspective this week.
Showing posts with label Writer's Workshop. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writer's Workshop. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Writers Workshop: The one who made a difference
This week's prompt:
Who have you forgotten about until right now? Think hard and list five people from your past that you really should have written something about by now but haven’t. Circle the name of the person who stands out the strongest. Write a description or brief memoir of that person.
I'm cheating on this one this week, kittens. You see, I'm writing about my second grade teacher, Mrs. Werner. She's someone whom I should have written more about on the blog before, but never had the chance to.
Until now.
I think about Mrs. Werner every now and then, but when I do, I get incredibly nostalgic. Out of my years of schooling, second grade stands out as the best year of my entire educational career. Allow me to describe the ways:
But it was the little things, too, that mattered. I was the only kid in my class with naturally curly hair, when it seemed that everyone else was either blond or had these cute, straight hair pixie cuts. Mrs. Werner made me appreciate my curls. Same thing with the one boy in the class who had red hair and freckles. It may seem insignificant now, but for two kids who didn't look like anyone else in the class, it made the world of difference.
Mrs. Werner moved to another state when I was in sixth grade. I was devastated when she left. A few years ago I tracked her down and wrote her a long, long letter, but sadly, never heard back. I hope she received it. But most importantly, I hope she knows what a difference she made in my life. For she took a kid who really disliked school and herself, and made her see the potential and intelligence that she had inside herself. To me, that's more valuable than any lesson learned in the classroom.
I still miss her.
Who have you forgotten about until right now? Think hard and list five people from your past that you really should have written something about by now but haven’t. Circle the name of the person who stands out the strongest. Write a description or brief memoir of that person.
I'm cheating on this one this week, kittens. You see, I'm writing about my second grade teacher, Mrs. Werner. She's someone whom I should have written more about on the blog before, but never had the chance to.
Until now.
I think about Mrs. Werner every now and then, but when I do, I get incredibly nostalgic. Out of my years of schooling, second grade stands out as the best year of my entire educational career. Allow me to describe the ways:
- She made all of us in her class feel like we were family.
- She celebrated our differences and made us appreciate ourselves for who we were.
But it was the little things, too, that mattered. I was the only kid in my class with naturally curly hair, when it seemed that everyone else was either blond or had these cute, straight hair pixie cuts. Mrs. Werner made me appreciate my curls. Same thing with the one boy in the class who had red hair and freckles. It may seem insignificant now, but for two kids who didn't look like anyone else in the class, it made the world of difference.
- She turned me into a reader.
- Even after second grade, she was always there for me.
Mrs. Werner moved to another state when I was in sixth grade. I was devastated when she left. A few years ago I tracked her down and wrote her a long, long letter, but sadly, never heard back. I hope she received it. But most importantly, I hope she knows what a difference she made in my life. For she took a kid who really disliked school and herself, and made her see the potential and intelligence that she had inside herself. To me, that's more valuable than any lesson learned in the classroom.
I still miss her.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Writers Workshop: Papa Cat's Guide to Grooming
Join in the fun over at Mama Kat's by clicking here.
Here is the prompt I chose this week:
What does that tell you about your father? List five products your father used (or uses). Write a longer piece about, at least, one of them.
Weeellll...Papa Cat is not exactly one who primps himself. He keeps his hygiene to the barest of bare minimums. I'm not even sure I can even name five products that he uses on a regular basis (or used to use for that matter). But I am definitely sure of the one product that he used to use all the frakkin' time. Read on...
So here are the products, in no particular order:
1. Irish Spring deodorant soap
Because he thinks Mama Cat's Dove Beauty Bar is too girly for him.
2. Barbasol Shaving Cream
He's been using this stuff for as long as I've been alive...and probably for as long as he's been married (37 years this June). And probably much longer than that.
3. Crest Toothpaste
Because it's what Mama Cat buys. Papa Cat did the grocery shopping once and bought something other than Crest, and there was a near-riot at the Cat Family Homestead.
4. Fresh Burst Listerine
Again, see #3.
But for number five...well, how can I not write about this one?!?!?
5. Aqua Net Super-Hold Hair Spray
There is a story behind this, kittens. You see, as a growing kitten, I often woke up to the sounds of Papa Cat emptying out a can of Aqua Net as he got ready for work. He was a man who lived in deep denial that he was balding, and had a rawther large comb-over. Papa Cat would use about an eighth of a can of Aqua Net on his head to hold the comb-over in place. It was not a good look for him. Neither I nor Sister Kitten would mention this to him, but Mama Cat did--constantly.
As we got older we'd mention that he polluted the ozone layer every time he used the damn Aqua Net. Papa Cat would just roll his eyes. Like I said, he was never big on grooming, but man, he really wouldn't get rid of that comb-over.
Until one day...he discovered he was going bald in the back of his head.
It was weird how he first found out. Embarrassing, actually. He attended a Board of Finance meeting in town, which was recorded on public access cable. He stood up to speak, said what he had to say, and then sat down. The Board of Finance thanked Papa Cat for his comments.
Papa Cat made us all watch this Board of Finance meeting. He was that danged excited to be on television. As we were watching, he noticed a short, balding man stand up to address the board.
He didn't realize it was him.
He asked if he was really that bald.
We nodded.
A week later, he went to Louis the barber, the man who had been cutting his hair for nearly twenty-five years, and had the comb-over chopped off.
Papa Cat no longer uses the Aqua Net.
His hair--and the ozone layer--are much better off without it.
Here is the prompt I chose this week:
What does that tell you about your father? List five products your father used (or uses). Write a longer piece about, at least, one of them.
Weeellll...Papa Cat is not exactly one who primps himself. He keeps his hygiene to the barest of bare minimums. I'm not even sure I can even name five products that he uses on a regular basis (or used to use for that matter). But I am definitely sure of the one product that he used to use all the frakkin' time. Read on...
So here are the products, in no particular order:
1. Irish Spring deodorant soap
Because he thinks Mama Cat's Dove Beauty Bar is too girly for him.
2. Barbasol Shaving Cream
He's been using this stuff for as long as I've been alive...and probably for as long as he's been married (37 years this June). And probably much longer than that.
3. Crest Toothpaste
Because it's what Mama Cat buys. Papa Cat did the grocery shopping once and bought something other than Crest, and there was a near-riot at the Cat Family Homestead.
4. Fresh Burst Listerine
Again, see #3.
But for number five...well, how can I not write about this one?!?!?
5. Aqua Net Super-Hold Hair Spray
There is a story behind this, kittens. You see, as a growing kitten, I often woke up to the sounds of Papa Cat emptying out a can of Aqua Net as he got ready for work. He was a man who lived in deep denial that he was balding, and had a rawther large comb-over. Papa Cat would use about an eighth of a can of Aqua Net on his head to hold the comb-over in place. It was not a good look for him. Neither I nor Sister Kitten would mention this to him, but Mama Cat did--constantly.As we got older we'd mention that he polluted the ozone layer every time he used the damn Aqua Net. Papa Cat would just roll his eyes. Like I said, he was never big on grooming, but man, he really wouldn't get rid of that comb-over.
Until one day...he discovered he was going bald in the back of his head.
It was weird how he first found out. Embarrassing, actually. He attended a Board of Finance meeting in town, which was recorded on public access cable. He stood up to speak, said what he had to say, and then sat down. The Board of Finance thanked Papa Cat for his comments.
Papa Cat made us all watch this Board of Finance meeting. He was that danged excited to be on television. As we were watching, he noticed a short, balding man stand up to address the board.
He didn't realize it was him.
He asked if he was really that bald.
We nodded.
A week later, he went to Louis the barber, the man who had been cutting his hair for nearly twenty-five years, and had the comb-over chopped off.
Papa Cat no longer uses the Aqua Net.
His hair--and the ozone layer--are much better off without it.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Writers Workshop: Are you really afraid of THAT?!?!
Go to Mama Kat's blog to get in on all the fun!
So here's the prompt I chose this week:
Where does that fear come from? Write about something that frightens you that other people might find ridiculous. Write about it in a poem, a story, or whatever.
When I was a kid, I absolutely adored The Muppet Show. I mean, seriously worshiped it. I had a metal Muppet Show lunchbox with matching Thermos. I had a poster of Miss Piggy in my bedroom, and my favorite sweatshirt when I was little was a Miss Piggy sweatshirt. The first movie I ever saw in the theater was The Muppet Movie. I was three years old when it came out.
But there was one thing that absolutely frightened, I mean, terrified me whenever I watched The Muppet Show. No, it was not Animal nor Sam the Eagle. It was the opening bumper, when the production company's logo came on before Kermit even introduced the guest star. It looked like the logo was about to zoom out from the TV screen and hit you. Not to mention, there was a really scary timpani-and-trumpet fanfare that accompanied it. The production company, in case you want to look it up on YouTube, was ITC. I accidentally watched a clip not long ago and it still scares the crap out of me. It came on TV one day and I very quickly turned it off. As a kid I would hide in the kitchen until the logo went off the screen and Kermit appeared again.
I didn't tell anyone about this fear. Not a soul. Obviously I'm telling all of you now, kittens, but up until about three or four years ago, I thought I was all alone. And then, one day, I was searching through Yahoo groups when I found one called "Scary Logos." And there, I found a group completely devoted to all of those scary, scary production logos of the 1970s--the Screen Gems "S from Hell", the Viacom "V of Doom," and the synthesized "WGBH" logo.
None of those logos ever scared me.
But that damn ITC one still does.
I still think it's an irrational fear...but it's one that I have.
P.S. Don't even think about sending me a YouTube clip with the ITC logo on it. Or rawther, ANYTHING with the ITC logo--pictures, screencaps, whatever. I will NOT find it funny. AT ALL.
So here's the prompt I chose this week:
Where does that fear come from? Write about something that frightens you that other people might find ridiculous. Write about it in a poem, a story, or whatever.
When I was a kid, I absolutely adored The Muppet Show. I mean, seriously worshiped it. I had a metal Muppet Show lunchbox with matching Thermos. I had a poster of Miss Piggy in my bedroom, and my favorite sweatshirt when I was little was a Miss Piggy sweatshirt. The first movie I ever saw in the theater was The Muppet Movie. I was three years old when it came out.
But there was one thing that absolutely frightened, I mean, terrified me whenever I watched The Muppet Show. No, it was not Animal nor Sam the Eagle. It was the opening bumper, when the production company's logo came on before Kermit even introduced the guest star. It looked like the logo was about to zoom out from the TV screen and hit you. Not to mention, there was a really scary timpani-and-trumpet fanfare that accompanied it. The production company, in case you want to look it up on YouTube, was ITC. I accidentally watched a clip not long ago and it still scares the crap out of me. It came on TV one day and I very quickly turned it off. As a kid I would hide in the kitchen until the logo went off the screen and Kermit appeared again.
I didn't tell anyone about this fear. Not a soul. Obviously I'm telling all of you now, kittens, but up until about three or four years ago, I thought I was all alone. And then, one day, I was searching through Yahoo groups when I found one called "Scary Logos." And there, I found a group completely devoted to all of those scary, scary production logos of the 1970s--the Screen Gems "S from Hell", the Viacom "V of Doom," and the synthesized "WGBH" logo.
None of those logos ever scared me.
But that damn ITC one still does.
I still think it's an irrational fear...but it's one that I have.
P.S. Don't even think about sending me a YouTube clip with the ITC logo on it. Or rawther, ANYTHING with the ITC logo--pictures, screencaps, whatever. I will NOT find it funny. AT ALL.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Writers Workshop: Daily Affirmation with Kitten Smalley
Click here to go to Mama Kat's website for the latest Writers Workshop goodies.
Here's the prompt I chose this week:
“I need all the help I can get and if repeating something healthy and inspiring to myself several times a day helps, then I’m going to do it!” -What affirmation makes you feel better? WELL THINK OF ONE.
Well, kittens, I tried in vain to find a Stuart Smalley clip on YouTube, figuring it would enhance my little post. But it turns out I really don't need one, for my daily affirmation speaks for itself:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
I just started praying the Serenity Prayer about two or three weeks ago, when I was going through an extremely anxious time at work. It was so bad it was really starting to get to me physically. My neck and shoulders were extremely tense, and I had trouble sleeping. So I started saying the prayer several times a day: when I brushed my teeth, on the drive in, breaks, leaving the building.
It really calmed me down, and I started feeling like myself again.
Things have been a LOT better--stressful still, but nothing compared to what it was like two weeks ago. I think it's made a difference. Sounds corny, but it worked for me.
Here's the prompt I chose this week:
“I need all the help I can get and if repeating something healthy and inspiring to myself several times a day helps, then I’m going to do it!” -What affirmation makes you feel better? WELL THINK OF ONE.
Well, kittens, I tried in vain to find a Stuart Smalley clip on YouTube, figuring it would enhance my little post. But it turns out I really don't need one, for my daily affirmation speaks for itself:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
I just started praying the Serenity Prayer about two or three weeks ago, when I was going through an extremely anxious time at work. It was so bad it was really starting to get to me physically. My neck and shoulders were extremely tense, and I had trouble sleeping. So I started saying the prayer several times a day: when I brushed my teeth, on the drive in, breaks, leaving the building.
It really calmed me down, and I started feeling like myself again.
Things have been a LOT better--stressful still, but nothing compared to what it was like two weeks ago. I think it's made a difference. Sounds corny, but it worked for me.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Writers Workshop: Boredom Prevention 101 with Professor Kitten
Thanks to Mama Kat for the inspiration.
This week's prompt: "Write a list of 10 things that can be done to stave off boredom."
Here we go:
1. Sleep, glorious sleep
What better way to stave off boredom than to escape the world for a little while? And what better way to escape the world than a little catnap, which can turn into one long power snooze? None of us get enough sleep, so here's a perfect reason to do so.
2. Facebook
Yes, I know it's bad to be a slave to social media, but I understand why people are addicted to Facebook. It promotes voyeurism; it lets you be the nosy neighbor that you hated as a kid but love being as an adult. And let's not get started with all of those games and apps...and for some, groups...
3. iPod
Or whatever music provider you may have. The iPod's the best, though. Put it on shuffle, and you never know what tune is gonna come up. Granted, you have to have a good number of tunes in your library to make this option worthwhile. Papa Cat has only two CDs worth of music in his one gig iPod Shuffle, so this wouldn't work for him.
4. Starbucks
I'm talking about a trip to Starbucks, and not necessarily consuming the actual coffee. Park yourself in a corner, grab a book or the New York Times, or plug in your laptop and bum off the WiFi. The people watching opportunities at Starbucks are tremendous--especially if you manage to score an outside table.
5. Borders
See #4 for more info of what I'm talking about. That, and the thousands of books that are available for your perusal will surely peak your interest--that is, if you like books. If not, may I suggest Best Buy.
6. DVR
Boredom is the perfect time to catch up on all the backlogged shows that you haven't watched on the DVR. It's also the perfect time to watch those shows you refuse to erase.
7. Driving therapy
Get in the car, and go somewhere. Anywhere. Crank the radio up as loud as it can go and see where the music takes you. Of course, with the price of gas still going up, it looks like this may not be such a great alternative...
8. Retail therapy other than Borders
I don't go to the mall as much as I used to, but I can never resist a stop at the Clinique counter. Or Estee Lauder. Or Origins. Especially at free gift bonus time. ($50 minimum purchases be damned, though! I only take this into consideration when it's a DAMN good bonus.)
9. Magazines
I prefer People, US Weekly, and TV Guide to stave off boredom. Light, fluffy reads that won't tax my brain too much, but won't cause it to melt, either.
10. Baking
It can't be something fancy like souffle or cheesecake. Muffins and cookies work best for me--granted, I often eat the dough before they go in the oven.
This week's prompt: "Write a list of 10 things that can be done to stave off boredom."
Here we go:
1. Sleep, glorious sleep
What better way to stave off boredom than to escape the world for a little while? And what better way to escape the world than a little catnap, which can turn into one long power snooze? None of us get enough sleep, so here's a perfect reason to do so.
2. Facebook
Yes, I know it's bad to be a slave to social media, but I understand why people are addicted to Facebook. It promotes voyeurism; it lets you be the nosy neighbor that you hated as a kid but love being as an adult. And let's not get started with all of those games and apps...and for some, groups...
3. iPod
Or whatever music provider you may have. The iPod's the best, though. Put it on shuffle, and you never know what tune is gonna come up. Granted, you have to have a good number of tunes in your library to make this option worthwhile. Papa Cat has only two CDs worth of music in his one gig iPod Shuffle, so this wouldn't work for him.
4. Starbucks
I'm talking about a trip to Starbucks, and not necessarily consuming the actual coffee. Park yourself in a corner, grab a book or the New York Times, or plug in your laptop and bum off the WiFi. The people watching opportunities at Starbucks are tremendous--especially if you manage to score an outside table.
5. Borders
See #4 for more info of what I'm talking about. That, and the thousands of books that are available for your perusal will surely peak your interest--that is, if you like books. If not, may I suggest Best Buy.
6. DVR
Boredom is the perfect time to catch up on all the backlogged shows that you haven't watched on the DVR. It's also the perfect time to watch those shows you refuse to erase.
7. Driving therapy
Get in the car, and go somewhere. Anywhere. Crank the radio up as loud as it can go and see where the music takes you. Of course, with the price of gas still going up, it looks like this may not be such a great alternative...
8. Retail therapy other than Borders
I don't go to the mall as much as I used to, but I can never resist a stop at the Clinique counter. Or Estee Lauder. Or Origins. Especially at free gift bonus time. ($50 minimum purchases be damned, though! I only take this into consideration when it's a DAMN good bonus.)
9. Magazines
I prefer People, US Weekly, and TV Guide to stave off boredom. Light, fluffy reads that won't tax my brain too much, but won't cause it to melt, either.
10. Baking
It can't be something fancy like souffle or cheesecake. Muffins and cookies work best for me--granted, I often eat the dough before they go in the oven.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Writers Workshop: Destructive kitties
Click here to play along with Mama Kat.
Here is the writing prompt I chose this week:
Describe the most destructive thing your pet has done.
I am fortunate that my kitties are not terribly destructive. They are very good cats overall. They have never scratched furniture or chewed anything of value up. I hate to brag, but they are naturally well-behaved.
However, there is one incident which made me so mad at Maggie.
It happened about three months after I moved into my condo. At the time, I just had Maggie. When I first moved in she used to love to climb on top of the cabinets. From the cabinets, she would climb to the top of the refrigerator, and would dangle her paws in such a way that they brushed against the door to the freezer...and then the freezer door would open.
Can you see where this is going, kittens?
So one morning--the morning of my first dinner party, as a matter of fact--Maggie woke me up, acting more anxious than usual. She was pacing the bed, pawing my face, doing everything within her power to get me out of bed. So finally, I got out of bed, walked to the kitchen to get breakfast...and saw my freezer door, wide open.
How long had it been open, you ask?
Long enough to defrost nearly $100 of frozen goods.
On the bright side, I had the menu for my dinner party ready to go.
And Maggie is a smart enough cat to know that what she did was a big mistake. She hasn't climbed to the top of the refrigerator since.
That, and the fact that I now store my toaster, coffee maker, and several other things up there has been a good deterrent, too.
Here is the writing prompt I chose this week:
Describe the most destructive thing your pet has done.
I am fortunate that my kitties are not terribly destructive. They are very good cats overall. They have never scratched furniture or chewed anything of value up. I hate to brag, but they are naturally well-behaved.
However, there is one incident which made me so mad at Maggie.
It happened about three months after I moved into my condo. At the time, I just had Maggie. When I first moved in she used to love to climb on top of the cabinets. From the cabinets, she would climb to the top of the refrigerator, and would dangle her paws in such a way that they brushed against the door to the freezer...and then the freezer door would open.
Can you see where this is going, kittens?
So one morning--the morning of my first dinner party, as a matter of fact--Maggie woke me up, acting more anxious than usual. She was pacing the bed, pawing my face, doing everything within her power to get me out of bed. So finally, I got out of bed, walked to the kitchen to get breakfast...and saw my freezer door, wide open.
How long had it been open, you ask?
Long enough to defrost nearly $100 of frozen goods.
On the bright side, I had the menu for my dinner party ready to go.
And Maggie is a smart enough cat to know that what she did was a big mistake. She hasn't climbed to the top of the refrigerator since.
That, and the fact that I now store my toaster, coffee maker, and several other things up there has been a good deterrent, too.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Writers Workshop: The one where Kitten goes to the ER
Time to take a trip in the Wayback Machine, kittens!
We're goin' back, back, waaaaaaayyyyyy back to January 30, 2005. I had just returned from a weekend in Jersey. It was Grandma Cat's 90th birthday celebration, and I was with a bunch of relatives I only see once, maybe twice a year.
It was also a very cold, very dry winter, and my asthma was giving me trouble. LOTS of people had noticed it, including my colleagues at work. I was getting all sorts of comments from them and especially Mama Cat:
"You haven't been taking care of yourself!"
"I'm worried about you!"
"Your breathing's very heavy!"
"You've been wheezing a lot!"
"Did you get your flu shot this year?"
Well...no, I did not get my flu shot that year. I thought I was doing a good thing and donating my flu shot to some elderly person, even though I myself was in a high-risk flu category.
I just rolled my eyes at all of these comments. Yeah, I was worried about my asthma, and yes, I was using my rescue inhaler A LOT, but I thought, "Oh, I'll go to the doctor soon, whenever I get a chance."
Famous last words.
The night of January 30th, I was watching 60 Minutes, in the dark, with three blankets and my comforter on top of me. I had the worst chills in the world. A few hours later I got the worst frontal lobe migraine ever. I went to bed, and woke up at 2:30, literally gasping for air. But I grabbed my rescue inhaler, took a few puffs, and went right back to sleep.
The morning of January 31st arrived. I got up, showered, didn't feel quite right, but got ready for work anyway. Was having breakfast when I decided to call in sick. I called in sick, then reached for my inhaler. I took it, nothing happened.
So I took it again.
Next thing I knew, I could barely breathe.
I reached for the phone and dialed 911.
All I remember from that call is staring at a can of Pledge on my dining room table (I had dusted a few days earlier and never put it away), and thinking, "This is the last object I'm gonna see before I die."
The paramedics arrived very quickly. I met them downstairs; how I got downstairs without passing out is beyond me.
They put me on a stretcher and got me in the ambulance, and gave me oxygen. I was at the hospital in less than five minutes.
I arrived in the ER, was put behind the curtain, and the nurses immediately started me with the nebulizer, then hooked me up to a machine that took my vitals every half hour. They drew a few vials of blood.
Next thing I knew I was being wheeled to the X-rays, where they wanted to see if my lungs were cloudy, a sign of pneumonia. I was shivering, and had three freshly warmed towels on top of me.
I fell asleep after the X-rays.
A short time, or maybe a long time, later, the doctor woke me up, and said they were going to admit me.
A few hours later, I was in a room of my own, in a hospital bed.
Sister Kitten came to visit me that night, and brought several books with her. She went to my house and checked on the cats. I couldn't thank her enough. During her visit the nurse came and took my vitals, and saw that I ran a temp of 102. She ordered some more tests.
About an hour later, the nurse confirmed that I had the flu.
Mama Cat's words came back to haunt me: "Did you get your flu shot this year?"
I ended up staying in the hospital for four days and three nights. It took that long to get my breathing right, as well as the oxygen content in my blood to go up to above 90%. When I was admitted, I later learned, there was only 60% oxygen in my blood.
I was sent home with Advair, Tamiflu, and Prednizone. The Advair and the Prednizone were for the asthma; thank God I was only on the Prednizone for a week. It's not a pleasant drug to be on. I'll spare you the details.
Bottom line, kittens, here's what I learned from that episode: DON'T EVER TAKE YOUR HEALTH FOR GRANTED. That's what happened to me. I could use the excuse that I was 28 and thought I was immortal, but it's not an excuse. I simply did not take care of myself, and I learned the hard way what can happen if I don't.
Since then, I get a flu and a pneumonia shot every year. I take my Advair every morning and night. My asthma is well under control now.
I bug the heck out of my doctor's office, and the company nurse, whenever flu season rolls around, since I need that flu shot. Yeah, they may get tired of my nagging, but there's a good reason for it...
...simply put, that flu shot saves me not only a trip to the ER, but very well may save my life.
We're goin' back, back, waaaaaaayyyyyy back to January 30, 2005. I had just returned from a weekend in Jersey. It was Grandma Cat's 90th birthday celebration, and I was with a bunch of relatives I only see once, maybe twice a year.
It was also a very cold, very dry winter, and my asthma was giving me trouble. LOTS of people had noticed it, including my colleagues at work. I was getting all sorts of comments from them and especially Mama Cat:
"You haven't been taking care of yourself!"
"I'm worried about you!"
"Your breathing's very heavy!"
"You've been wheezing a lot!"
"Did you get your flu shot this year?"
Well...no, I did not get my flu shot that year. I thought I was doing a good thing and donating my flu shot to some elderly person, even though I myself was in a high-risk flu category.
I just rolled my eyes at all of these comments. Yeah, I was worried about my asthma, and yes, I was using my rescue inhaler A LOT, but I thought, "Oh, I'll go to the doctor soon, whenever I get a chance."
Famous last words.
The night of January 30th, I was watching 60 Minutes, in the dark, with three blankets and my comforter on top of me. I had the worst chills in the world. A few hours later I got the worst frontal lobe migraine ever. I went to bed, and woke up at 2:30, literally gasping for air. But I grabbed my rescue inhaler, took a few puffs, and went right back to sleep.
The morning of January 31st arrived. I got up, showered, didn't feel quite right, but got ready for work anyway. Was having breakfast when I decided to call in sick. I called in sick, then reached for my inhaler. I took it, nothing happened.
So I took it again.
Next thing I knew, I could barely breathe.
I reached for the phone and dialed 911.
All I remember from that call is staring at a can of Pledge on my dining room table (I had dusted a few days earlier and never put it away), and thinking, "This is the last object I'm gonna see before I die."
The paramedics arrived very quickly. I met them downstairs; how I got downstairs without passing out is beyond me.
They put me on a stretcher and got me in the ambulance, and gave me oxygen. I was at the hospital in less than five minutes.
I arrived in the ER, was put behind the curtain, and the nurses immediately started me with the nebulizer, then hooked me up to a machine that took my vitals every half hour. They drew a few vials of blood.
Next thing I knew I was being wheeled to the X-rays, where they wanted to see if my lungs were cloudy, a sign of pneumonia. I was shivering, and had three freshly warmed towels on top of me.
I fell asleep after the X-rays.
A short time, or maybe a long time, later, the doctor woke me up, and said they were going to admit me.
A few hours later, I was in a room of my own, in a hospital bed.
Sister Kitten came to visit me that night, and brought several books with her. She went to my house and checked on the cats. I couldn't thank her enough. During her visit the nurse came and took my vitals, and saw that I ran a temp of 102. She ordered some more tests.
About an hour later, the nurse confirmed that I had the flu.
Mama Cat's words came back to haunt me: "Did you get your flu shot this year?"
I ended up staying in the hospital for four days and three nights. It took that long to get my breathing right, as well as the oxygen content in my blood to go up to above 90%. When I was admitted, I later learned, there was only 60% oxygen in my blood.
I was sent home with Advair, Tamiflu, and Prednizone. The Advair and the Prednizone were for the asthma; thank God I was only on the Prednizone for a week. It's not a pleasant drug to be on. I'll spare you the details.
Bottom line, kittens, here's what I learned from that episode: DON'T EVER TAKE YOUR HEALTH FOR GRANTED. That's what happened to me. I could use the excuse that I was 28 and thought I was immortal, but it's not an excuse. I simply did not take care of myself, and I learned the hard way what can happen if I don't.
Since then, I get a flu and a pneumonia shot every year. I take my Advair every morning and night. My asthma is well under control now.
I bug the heck out of my doctor's office, and the company nurse, whenever flu season rolls around, since I need that flu shot. Yeah, they may get tired of my nagging, but there's a good reason for it...
...simply put, that flu shot saves me not only a trip to the ER, but very well may save my life.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Writers Workshop: We bring good things to life!
Once again, Mama Kat is inspiring us with her weekly Writers Workshop prompts. But before we get to the prompt, we now must acknowledge our sponsor:
This week our prompt is sponsored by the good folks at General Electric!
Why GE, you ask? Well, here's this week's prompt:
4.) Which appliance in your home would you most miss living without if you had to live without?
Do I have to limit myself to just one appliance? I'm not gonna go crazy and name every single one I own, because there are some that, in my eyes, are much more important and valuable than others.
We're gonna do this countdown style:
4. My garbage disposal
This stems from when I was a kid. We didn't have a garbage disposal, and one of our chores each night, after we did the dishes, was to empty the little drainer in the sink. It would catch all of the little leftover particles of food left over from the dishpan. Whoever did the dishes had to dump the drainer onto a paper towel, fold it up, and throw it away.
I got stuck doing this task most nights, even on nights when I didn't do the dishes. Sister Kitten referred to the remnants as "toxic waste." Or "radioactive waste." Or "nuclear waste." Y'all get the idea. I don't know why she hated it so much. Even as a 30-year-old adult, she loathes this task.
The garbage disposal enables me to get rid of all of the toxic waste that Sister Kitten loathed. I use it to rid myself of egg shells, potato peels, apple cores, and other such items. I know I can use this for compost, but I live in a condo and don't have room for a composter. Plus, ridding the waste this way prevents odors from coming out of my garbage can. If this happens it stinks up the whole condo. Not a pleasant thing.
And yes, I know they're bad for the environment, and they strain septic systems, but I can't help it! I love my garbage disposal!
3. My Kitch
enAid mixer
I had been coveting a KitchenAid for years, but couldn't justify paying $300+ for one. I just couldn't afford it. And then, lo! One day I was on Craigslist and saw one advertised for $50. I thought it was too good to be true, but it wasn't! It had only been used once. I talked to the owner and she was very nice about it.
And the price? $50!!!! It was as if the culinary angels were singing and smiling on me.
I took it home, and it has been an absolute godsend. Baking is more of a joy now than ever. Previously I had used a hand mixer, and that could get inconvenient at times, especially when you mixed with one hand and added ingredients with another. Now I just turn on the mixer and let 'er rip!
2. My Keurig coffee maker
I bought my Keurig a few months back, and can't imagine life without it. I no longer have to brew a whole pot of coffee and feel obligated to drink the whole damn thing. I don't waste coffee, and I can brew as many or as few cups as I want. And I can make hot cocoa with it, if I so desire. But I just use it for the coffee.
And finally, my #1 favorite appliance is...
1. My dishwasher
I know, I know...I have said in previous posts that I enjoy doing dishes. I really do love to wash dishes, but there are some nights where I'm just too tired or lazy. So I just load 'er up, put the dishwasher tab in, and let 'er rip! Two hours later, sparkling clean dishes!
I use the dishwasher for glasses, plastic storage containers, silverware...and dishes, of course.
And no, kittens, I am not getting free appliances from GE because I mentioned them. *SIGH* I could really use a new washer/dryer too...
This week our prompt is sponsored by the good folks at General Electric!
Why GE, you ask? Well, here's this week's prompt:4.) Which appliance in your home would you most miss living without if you had to live without?
Do I have to limit myself to just one appliance? I'm not gonna go crazy and name every single one I own, because there are some that, in my eyes, are much more important and valuable than others.
We're gonna do this countdown style:
4. My garbage disposal
This stems from when I was a kid. We didn't have a garbage disposal, and one of our chores each night, after we did the dishes, was to empty the little drainer in the sink. It would catch all of the little leftover particles of food left over from the dishpan. Whoever did the dishes had to dump the drainer onto a paper towel, fold it up, and throw it away.
I got stuck doing this task most nights, even on nights when I didn't do the dishes. Sister Kitten referred to the remnants as "toxic waste." Or "radioactive waste." Or "nuclear waste." Y'all get the idea. I don't know why she hated it so much. Even as a 30-year-old adult, she loathes this task.
The garbage disposal enables me to get rid of all of the toxic waste that Sister Kitten loathed. I use it to rid myself of egg shells, potato peels, apple cores, and other such items. I know I can use this for compost, but I live in a condo and don't have room for a composter. Plus, ridding the waste this way prevents odors from coming out of my garbage can. If this happens it stinks up the whole condo. Not a pleasant thing.
And yes, I know they're bad for the environment, and they strain septic systems, but I can't help it! I love my garbage disposal!
3. My Kitch
enAid mixerI had been coveting a KitchenAid for years, but couldn't justify paying $300+ for one. I just couldn't afford it. And then, lo! One day I was on Craigslist and saw one advertised for $50. I thought it was too good to be true, but it wasn't! It had only been used once. I talked to the owner and she was very nice about it.
And the price? $50!!!! It was as if the culinary angels were singing and smiling on me.
I took it home, and it has been an absolute godsend. Baking is more of a joy now than ever. Previously I had used a hand mixer, and that could get inconvenient at times, especially when you mixed with one hand and added ingredients with another. Now I just turn on the mixer and let 'er rip!
2. My Keurig coffee maker
I bought my Keurig a few months back, and can't imagine life without it. I no longer have to brew a whole pot of coffee and feel obligated to drink the whole damn thing. I don't waste coffee, and I can brew as many or as few cups as I want. And I can make hot cocoa with it, if I so desire. But I just use it for the coffee.
And finally, my #1 favorite appliance is...
1. My dishwasherI know, I know...I have said in previous posts that I enjoy doing dishes. I really do love to wash dishes, but there are some nights where I'm just too tired or lazy. So I just load 'er up, put the dishwasher tab in, and let 'er rip! Two hours later, sparkling clean dishes!
I use the dishwasher for glasses, plastic storage containers, silverware...and dishes, of course.
And no, kittens, I am not getting free appliances from GE because I mentioned them. *SIGH* I could really use a new washer/dryer too...
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Writers Workshop: Where do you want to go today?
It's been an awfully long time since I've done one of Mama Kat's Writers Workshop prompts, but today I feel inspired.
Here's today's prompt:
4.) List 5 things you like to do while camping...or 5 places you'd like to go.
(inspired by Kisatrtle)
OK, here's one thing you need to know about me: I don't go camping. I don't like bugs in my hair, sleeping in dirt, or wild creatures sneaking around my campsite--especially snakes. I have a serious serpent phobia here. The only thing good about camping is smores, but I can easily make 'em over my parents' firepit (and I have).
Anyhoo, in lieu of this, I am giving you a list of five places I'd like to go:
1. Australia
I've always wanted to visit the land Down Under, and after reading
In a Sunburned Country, I'm more determined than ever to go. The people there seem so nice, so friendly, so laid-back...not to mention, their accents are rawther sexy.
And I wouldn't mind getting a glimpse of this guy, either:
2. California
There
are various places in California I'd like to visit. I would love to do the tourist thing in Hollywood and L.A., of course, but I'd also like to visit the beaches in San Diego, as well as spend an extended stay in Napa Valley.
3. Quebec
I last visited Montreal back in 1995, and I really, really want to return. I went on a weekend trip with my college choir, and had so much fun. I only got a small taste of what Quebec has to offer. A good friend of mine recently spent a week there and told me all about her visit. Next year I'm begging her to take me along.
4. The Adironda
cks/Lake George region
My maternal grandparents owned a cabin in upstate New York. We used to go every summer and spend a week there. Their cabin was right on the Hudson River, and they had a pontoon dock. I'd go fishing on the pontoon dock every day.
Hmmm...I feel a Friday Flashback post comin' on...
5. Italy
The land of my ancestors. My parents went on a big trip to Italy last y
ear and loved every single minute of it. Some of my friends went on a trip a couple of years back with their choir and had some gorgeous pictures to share--especially in the sunflower fields of Tuscany.
There are many, many other places that I want to travel to, but since the prompt only required five, I'm going to stop here for now. Maybe I'll write a sequel post next week.
Now, what about you, kittens? Where do YOU want to go?
Here's today's prompt:
4.) List 5 things you like to do while camping...or 5 places you'd like to go.
(inspired by Kisatrtle)
OK, here's one thing you need to know about me: I don't go camping. I don't like bugs in my hair, sleeping in dirt, or wild creatures sneaking around my campsite--especially snakes. I have a serious serpent phobia here. The only thing good about camping is smores, but I can easily make 'em over my parents' firepit (and I have).
Anyhoo, in lieu of this, I am giving you a list of five places I'd like to go:
1. Australia
I've always wanted to visit the land Down Under, and after reading
In a Sunburned Country, I'm more determined than ever to go. The people there seem so nice, so friendly, so laid-back...not to mention, their accents are rawther sexy.And I wouldn't mind getting a glimpse of this guy, either:
2. California
There
are various places in California I'd like to visit. I would love to do the tourist thing in Hollywood and L.A., of course, but I'd also like to visit the beaches in San Diego, as well as spend an extended stay in Napa Valley.3. Quebec
I last visited Montreal back in 1995, and I really, really want to return. I went on a weekend trip with my college choir, and had so much fun. I only got a small taste of what Quebec has to offer. A good friend of mine recently spent a week there and told me all about her visit. Next year I'm begging her to take me along.
4. The Adironda
cks/Lake George regionMy maternal grandparents owned a cabin in upstate New York. We used to go every summer and spend a week there. Their cabin was right on the Hudson River, and they had a pontoon dock. I'd go fishing on the pontoon dock every day.
Hmmm...I feel a Friday Flashback post comin' on...
5. Italy
The land of my ancestors. My parents went on a big trip to Italy last y
ear and loved every single minute of it. Some of my friends went on a trip a couple of years back with their choir and had some gorgeous pictures to share--especially in the sunflower fields of Tuscany.There are many, many other places that I want to travel to, but since the prompt only required five, I'm going to stop here for now. Maybe I'll write a sequel post next week.
Now, what about you, kittens? Where do YOU want to go?
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Writers Workshop: I'm sick of these people!
And I'm sick of these things, too. Read on, kittens...
1. Jon and Kate Gosselin. I never was a fan of Jon and Kate Plus Eight. I was never a fan of reality TV, period. What they're going through right now is proof that reality television can ruin the lives of those involved. Look at the marriages it helped collapse (but were probably on the brink of collapsing, anyway, but I'm sure the TV shows contributed).
I feel bad for what Jon and Kate are going through, but I feel even worse for those kids...when they grow up, how will life be for them?
2. Octomom. I'm ambivalent. I share the same feelings that most Americans do about this woman. I don't have to explain myself here.
3. Blagojevich. Either Rod or Patti. Go away. Just go away.
4. Dick Cheney. You're saying more now than you did during your eight years in office. No one cares about you any more--that is, if they did in the first place. Dubya got the message and he's not around--why are you still here?
5. This f#$king recession. Nuff said.
6. Swine flu. Nuff said there as well.
7. Office 2007. Just got the upgrade at work. Am. Hating. It. Too many menus, no more buttons, and worse, no office assistant! Yelling at the paper clip guy in moments of frustration was the ultimate form of therapy!
8. Waking up an hour before the alarm goes off and not being able to go back to a sound sleep. Every fifteen minutes I lift my head, congratulate myself on having more time to sleep, but never get back to a deep REM. And if I do get back to an REM, it's always five minutes before the alarm goes off, and the alarm wakes me up and jolts me out of bed. Then I end up feeling groggy all day long.
9. A$$holes who don't know how to drive. They're multiplying. I thought Darwin's theory was all about the survival of the fittest, not the lamest.
10. American Idol. Sorry, kittens, I know there are quite a few of you who watch and adore this show, but I just don't get it. I don't get Survivor, either. Then again, I don't quite understand--or care for--most reality TV.
And we come full circle in this round of Writers Workshop. For more fun, check out Mama Kat's blog.
1. Jon and Kate Gosselin. I never was a fan of Jon and Kate Plus Eight. I was never a fan of reality TV, period. What they're going through right now is proof that reality television can ruin the lives of those involved. Look at the marriages it helped collapse (but were probably on the brink of collapsing, anyway, but I'm sure the TV shows contributed).
I feel bad for what Jon and Kate are going through, but I feel even worse for those kids...when they grow up, how will life be for them?
2. Octomom. I'm ambivalent. I share the same feelings that most Americans do about this woman. I don't have to explain myself here.
3. Blagojevich. Either Rod or Patti. Go away. Just go away.
4. Dick Cheney. You're saying more now than you did during your eight years in office. No one cares about you any more--that is, if they did in the first place. Dubya got the message and he's not around--why are you still here?
5. This f#$king recession. Nuff said.
6. Swine flu. Nuff said there as well.
7. Office 2007. Just got the upgrade at work. Am. Hating. It. Too many menus, no more buttons, and worse, no office assistant! Yelling at the paper clip guy in moments of frustration was the ultimate form of therapy!
8. Waking up an hour before the alarm goes off and not being able to go back to a sound sleep. Every fifteen minutes I lift my head, congratulate myself on having more time to sleep, but never get back to a deep REM. And if I do get back to an REM, it's always five minutes before the alarm goes off, and the alarm wakes me up and jolts me out of bed. Then I end up feeling groggy all day long.
9. A$$holes who don't know how to drive. They're multiplying. I thought Darwin's theory was all about the survival of the fittest, not the lamest.
10. American Idol. Sorry, kittens, I know there are quite a few of you who watch and adore this show, but I just don't get it. I don't get Survivor, either. Then again, I don't quite understand--or care for--most reality TV.
And we come full circle in this round of Writers Workshop. For more fun, check out Mama Kat's blog.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Writers Workshop: Blogging 101 with Professor Kitten
Okay class, settle down now, make yourselves comfortable. Make sure your laptops are fully charged. No talking, texting, IM'ing, or visiting other blogs during this session. You'll have plenty of time to do that when we're done.Welcome to Blogging 101. I am the Bookkitten, but you may call me Professor Kitten. Outside of class, just call me Kitten. Anyhoo, I'm here to offer various tips and tactics that I've gleaned during my nearly two years of blogging--but I've only been blogging full-time for a year. (Witness the five posts I wrote in 2007, compared to my body of work in 2008).
In this class, there is no syllabus, no exams, no projects. It's for anyone, whether you're new to blogging or you've been on the Internet for a while. Now that we have that out of the way, let's begin.
We'll start with the basics. Part One: Who Am I, and Why Am I Blogging?
1. Decide on a focus for your blog. In other words, do you want your blog to be about one specific thing?
Will your blog deal with a specific topic, or will it contain stream of consciousness ramblings about your life? Will you have a poetry blog, a knitting blog, a blog about the music you listen to? It's up to you. Don't sweat it too much, though, for this leads in to the advice I'm going to give you for bullet point #2:
2. Your blog will evolve. Let it do so naturally.
Okay, so this cancels out bullet point #1. However, here's why I'm addressing this: When I first started my blog I wanted to focus strictly on book reviews. Then life intervened, and I went through a crisis in my personal life. Writing has helped me through this trying time. I started using the blog as a place to post my thoughts about anything, and not just the books that I read. For a few months I didn't write anything, or rather, wrote very little, about literature. Now I've come back to my blog's original focus, but I've interspersed it with my other interests, such as writing, music, and cooking. You are the person who decides what your blog is going to contain. Don't be pressured to make it anything different than you want it to be.
3. Remember, anyone can read the Internet. Consider using a pseudonym when you blog.
For those of you who know me off blog, you know that Kitten is not my real name. Anyone can Google search you. Be careful of what you post; you wouldn't want your co-workers to know about that wild night in Cabo. If you write about your friends, that's your choice, but be mindful of their privacy. Don't use their last names. Many bloggers use their real first names, but don't disclose their last names. They may also give their friends and family members nicknames to protect their privacy. Check with your loved ones if you're unsure.
Okay, it looks like everyone's still awake, so I'm going to continue with Part Two of this lesson: Developing Your Fan Base.
1. Unless you tell everyone you know that you have a blog, don't expect comments right away.
When I started The Bookkitten, I didn't tell anyone that I had a blog. When I did tell friends they visited, but they weren't regular visitors; they weren't bloggers, and I didn't take it personally. Occasionally I'd get a comment here and there, I'm still not sure how (most likely RSS or a Google search), but I didn't get regular visitors for a very, very long time.
So how did I start getting comments? Read on...
2. Visit other people's blogs and comment.
You can only receive comment love if you give it! Make sure you use your Blogger/Wordpress/Open ID persona when you comment, and make sure that your profile is public! That way the blogger can come visit you!
3. Look at other bloggers' blogrolls. Visit the sites on those.
Blogrolls are a great way to find out bloggers' interests. If they have similar interests as you, you'll find more blogs that you like!
4. Participate in memes, if you so desire, and don't forget to sign the Mr. Linky when you do, so other bloggers can come visit you.
This is one of the best ways to develop a following. Don't forget to visit the other bloggers on the list, too!
So now we've covered content, comments, and now...well, I can't think of a C word to describe this next element: design. Let's now move on to Part Three: Keeping Up Appearances.
1. Don't worry about coming up with a funky design right away. This will evolve right along with your blog.
Use the templates that Blogger and Wordpress give you. Experiment with a look. See which best fits your personality.
Once you've blogged for a while, and you want to change things up a bit, you may find that the blog templates may not be doing much for you. You may want a funkier background, or you may find that you want to change it depending on the season. I have two resources for you:
- The Cutest Blog on the Block: This site has free templates, with super-easy directions on how to change your backgrounds.
- Leelou Blogs: This site also has some cute free templates and headers. Some of the templates will even change your blogs from two columns to three.
2. Don't be afraid to seek professional help for your blog.
Let's say that the free templates aren't doing much for you, and you want something personalized. For example, you want a cute, fun header or a button that your followers can grab and display. There are many blog designers on the web, but allow me to introduce you to our first guest lecturer, who also happens to be designing something for me as we speak:
In addition to the amazing work that April does, she now has a section on her blog that contains blog design tutorials. So if you're a do-it-yourselfer, check out these tutorials. She currently has a lesson on expanding your blog from two columns to three. And let's not forget, her designs are amazing. Visit April's blog to learn more about her and her work. She is very easy--and fun!--to work with!
So to recap, we've now covered content, comment, and design, so now let's move on to the fourth and final portion of our lesson: Maintenance. In this portion I refer you to our second guest lecturer:
Kim over at Sophisticated Dorkiness is running the Blog Improvement Project. She has biweekly lessons and topics to help you improve various aspects of your blog. She's covered many topics so far: social media, posting, comments, and design. I always look forward to seeing what she's going to come up with next.
I believe that blogs are always a work in progress, and the Blog Improvement Project will help you look at your blog in a different light.
Well, class, that is about all that I have today. Shall we review? Here are the highlights of this lesson:
- Let your blog evolve naturally.
- You have to give comment love in order to get it.
- Try out a few layouts before you find one that suits you.
- Don't be afraid to ask for help.
If you have any questions or comments, my office hours vary, depending on when my schedule allows me to be online, but you can reach me 24/7 via the comments! If you tweet, I am also available via Twitter.
Class dismissed! Go forth and post!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
In the Singlehood: My household roles
I saw this prompt over at Mama Kat's and thought I could combine my Writers Workshop piece with my "In the Singlehood" series.
Here's the prompt:
"What is your role in the household?"
HA!! That's a good one! You mean roles. When you're a single person, you can't have just one role in the household. Allow me to explain:
1. BREADWINNER
I have to work. I am perfectly healthy and do not have any conditions that would prohibit me to hold down a job. I have to work to put food on the table, keep a roof over my head, keep the lights and the heat on, maintain transportation, communication with the outside world, clothe myself...oh yeah, and have enough supplemental income at the end of the month to purchase my books. (Although Paperback Swap rocks and I've received ten books over the past month from that wonderful website).
2. COOK
I cook for myself. It's too expensive to eat out every single night. Besides, I find cooking theraputic. There's just something about the smell of ingredients that relaxes me and helps me unwind from the day.
OK, I'll admit it: chopping and slicing is a great stress reliever. Especially chopping.
I don't always cook during the week. Most weeks I'll cook big on Sundays and freeze the meal in smaller portions so I can just pop a container in the microwave when I get home. Other times I like eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Bread and butter is good, too. Cheddar cheese slices atop Triscuits are good choices. And let's not forget my love affair with The Cheesiest. (If you haven't read it yet, check out my post "The Single Gal's Guide to Groceries," which is under the "Greatest Hits" section in the right column).
3. HIRED HELP
Sometimes it gets overwhelming to clean a two-bedroom, loft-style condo on one's own. I have to break up the chores so I don't clean the whole thing in one day. Some days, I don't clean at all depending on how tired I am from my day at work. The easiest chores for me to do during the week are laundry and running the dishwasher. It's easy to put clothes in the washing machine with the detergent and letting it run for a while. Folding...well, that's another story. I'm much better at it than I used to be.
4. CAREGIVER
Here's the prompt:
"What is your role in the household?"
HA!! That's a good one! You mean roles. When you're a single person, you can't have just one role in the household. Allow me to explain:
1. BREADWINNER
I have to work. I am perfectly healthy and do not have any conditions that would prohibit me to hold down a job. I have to work to put food on the table, keep a roof over my head, keep the lights and the heat on, maintain transportation, communication with the outside world, clothe myself...oh yeah, and have enough supplemental income at the end of the month to purchase my books. (Although Paperback Swap rocks and I've received ten books over the past month from that wonderful website).
2. COOK
I cook for myself. It's too expensive to eat out every single night. Besides, I find cooking theraputic. There's just something about the smell of ingredients that relaxes me and helps me unwind from the day.OK, I'll admit it: chopping and slicing is a great stress reliever. Especially chopping.
I don't always cook during the week. Most weeks I'll cook big on Sundays and freeze the meal in smaller portions so I can just pop a container in the microwave when I get home. Other times I like eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Bread and butter is good, too. Cheddar cheese slices atop Triscuits are good choices. And let's not forget my love affair with The Cheesiest. (If you haven't read it yet, check out my post "The Single Gal's Guide to Groceries," which is under the "Greatest Hits" section in the right column).
3. HIRED HELP
Sometimes it gets overwhelming to clean a two-bedroom, loft-style condo on one's own. I have to break up the chores so I don't clean the whole thing in one day. Some days, I don't clean at all depending on how tired I am from my day at work. The easiest chores for me to do during the week are laundry and running the dishwasher. It's easy to put clothes in the washing machine with the detergent and letting it run for a while. Folding...well, that's another story. I'm much better at it than I used to be.
4. CAREGIVER
Mags and Gabs depend upon me for their very survival. I feed them their Meow Mix Wholesome Goodness daily and make sure they have fresh clean water. I make sure that their litter boxes are decluttered of waste material. I endure painful car rides to take them to the vet. Granted, the vet is ten minutes away, but the way they meow, you think I'd have kidnapped them. I give them their monthly flea treatments (which is always a joy) and brush them and groom them. I give them as much love as I would to any human.5. LAWYER
I have been having issues with my insurance company lately. I won't get into specifics, but let's just say that my local hospital is having trouble negotiating a contract with my insurance provider. I'm not alone, but I was on the phone earlier this afternoon with a rep from this company who was very nasty to me and wouldn't let me ask more than one question. Since I am the sole policy holder in my household, it was up to me to debate with this company. I won't name names, and I won't tell you the first letter in their name. I don't want to get madder, or get anyone in the sitation, angrier by disclosing party names.
6. WARDROBE CONSULTANT
This is my least favorite role. I have no fashion sense. I'm amazed none of my friends has nominated me for What Not to Wear yet. I would be their most obedient, dutiful pupil. But then again, they may not have me on the show because I wouldn't argue with Stacy or Clinton. Obeying, sadly, does not make what TV execs consider good reality programming.
That having been said, I will not pay full price. I really like Goodwill and have bought many great pieces from them. However, it's gotten to the point where I have a Monday outfit, a Tuesday outfit, a Wednesday outfit, etc. I hate that!
I also like sales at Target, Kohl's, and Lane Bryant. I am petite and plus-sized, so it's not always easy to find clothes that fit well. Maybe that's why I loathe shopping so much.
7. HANDYWOMAN
I've learned to do minor repairs around the house, and I'm very proud of myself for doing this. I know how to use a carpenter's level, an electric screwdriver, and a hammer. I installed my bathroom medicine cabinet, as well as my showerhead, all by myself. I love painting walls; I'm awesome at edging.
For the big guns, though, I'm no fool. I know my limitations. Fortunately, my best friend knows how to fix things. He installed a ceiling fan for me in my kitchen, as well as put in a set of blinds in front of my patio door. He even helped me install my entertainment center (his old one). Best thing about this is, I don't ask him to do these things for me. He offers. And I am forever grateful for that.
8. BANKER/FINANCIAL PLANNER
This is my most difficult role. It took me years to learn how to plan a budget. I was in love with plastic, and paid a huge price for it. My credit rating is very, very slowly getting better, but it is still not great. I'm really glad, though, that I learned the lesson before the current financial crisis occurred. I've got money in the bank, I've curbed my spending, and am very happy living with less. It was a hard lesson to learn, but I'm glad I learned it.9. PARTY PLANNER
That's why I often will sneak to the kitchen during a party and start doing the dishes for my host. I often get yelled at for doing this (especially if BFF is hosting the party), because "I'm the guest and don't have to do that", but it's my way of showing my appreciation for what the host has done for me.
10. ORGANIZER
If I didn't have my planner or cell phone, I would be incredibly lost with all that I do during the week. Even though I'm single, I still have responsibilities to my job, my church, keeping myself physically and mentally healthy with my jaunts to the Y and my therapist, and I still need to have a life. I visit friends, I go to dances, events, visit family, and go to the library, among other things.It's una vida loca, that's for sure, and I juggle a lot of roles, but it's MI vida loca and I wouldn't have it any other way!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Writers Workshop: "You always hurt the ones you love..."
Welcome, Kittens, to another session of Writers Workshop, brought to you by Mama Kat.
This week, I'm writing about this:
"Tell about a time that you hurt somebody that still bothers you to this day."
I'm giving this prompt a twist: You see, I don't know if I really hurt this person. I haven't seen her in eight years, and haven't spoken to her in almost five.
That person was once my best friend.
I was a bridesmaid in her wedding.
I haven't seen her since her wedding day.
We met in college. We were casual friends at first, but during our junior year, we were both hurt by the same group of people, and became very close. Some would even say we were like sisters.
The two of us hung out with another guy, the guy who remains my best friend to this very day (and is frequently mentioned in this blog). The three of us made a happy little trio, and we were very, very tight.
Towards the end of senior year, however, we had a fight, and it looked as if the three of us were going to end our friendships. BFF #1, whom we'll refer to as P, broke up with her longtime boyfriend and was dealing with the fallout with that--dating guys she normally wouldn't date, hanging out with people she normally wouldn't spend time with. BFF #2, whom we'll refer to as K, was acting very secretive around the two of us, and he would often leave campus without telling us where he was going and what he was doing.
My BFFs bonded over their mutual troubles--and left me out in the cold.
It felt awful, and to this day, my college graduation is still somewhat bittersweet because of the events that had unfolded.
Time, however, healed our wounds. Six months after graduation, K called and we talked for two hours. Long story short, K came out of the closet, and he was dealing with the fallout amongst his family, as well as his friends. We still had a lot of healing to do, and it took several years for us to completely repair our friendship. Several weeks after that, P called, and we resumed our friendship.
(NOTE: I may or may not write more about my friendship with K in the future. He knows I have a blog, but he's never read it. I don't want to talk about it in depth or very personally without having his permission first. From here on, though, I'm going to talk about P).
Anyway, P lived in another state, and we weren't able to see each other often. Between the time we graduated and the time she got engaged, we saw each other twice. During wedding plans, however, we saw each other much more frequently, and we were on the phone a lot--often for three hours at a time. I heard about all of the arguments she had with her family over wedding plans, all of the first details about the dress, the honeymoon plans--I heard everything. And when I was asked to be a bridesmaid, well, I thought that bonded us forever.
But it didn't.
While P was making her wedding plans, excited about the celebration she was about to have, I was a poor grad school student scraping to get by. I was taking a full-time course load, working full-time, and searching for permanent jobs for the following school year. I was fried, busy, and did I mention, poor? This should be a moot point, but at the time, it wasn't. P and her fiance had an income, an apartment, and were being given stuff, through their registry, for their new home. And here I was, a single person, barely making enough money to buy a coffee maker for my apartment.
She had a bridal shower where she got four toaster ovens. She got all her stuff for free.
I had to go buy all my appliances. I didn't have a horde of people helping me start my new life.
I started to feel bitter. I still regret feeling this way. I knew I had to be happy for my friend, and I put on a smile at that damn shower. It was very difficult, though, but not just for the material gifts. During the final months before the wedding, we had less and less to talk about. We were both embarking on different stages of our lives: she as a new wife, me moving out of my parents' house and onto my career. We just didn't have as much in common. We were both stressed out for entirely different reasons. At times, we took it out on each other.
P married in July of 2001. I moved out of my parents' house a week later. I'm glad the timing was this way, because it didn't give me any time to brood.
P and I talked on the phone every couple of months for about two or three years after she married. And then, suddenly, she stopped responding to my E-mails. She stopped calling.
I don't know what I did, if I did anything, but the fact that she never responded to the last Christmas card I sent her really saddens me.
I know where she works, but I don't know where she's living. I don't even know if she's still married. I've tried finding her on Facebook, to no avail, but I seriously doubt that P would be a Facebooker. I think the ball's in P's court now. I still have the same address that I had five years ago, I'm on our college alumni network, she knows where and how to find me. Hell, my parents still live in the same house as I did when I was in college, so she can always call my rents if she doesn't have my contact info.
I'm just so sad that I don't know why she decided not to talk to me anymore. What did I do? What did I say? Did I even do or say anything to upset her?
I would just like to talk to her one more time, just one more, to have some closure. Just a chance to say goodbye.
I don't think that will ever happen, though.
This week, I'm writing about this:
"Tell about a time that you hurt somebody that still bothers you to this day."
I'm giving this prompt a twist: You see, I don't know if I really hurt this person. I haven't seen her in eight years, and haven't spoken to her in almost five.
That person was once my best friend.
I was a bridesmaid in her wedding.
I haven't seen her since her wedding day.
We met in college. We were casual friends at first, but during our junior year, we were both hurt by the same group of people, and became very close. Some would even say we were like sisters.
The two of us hung out with another guy, the guy who remains my best friend to this very day (and is frequently mentioned in this blog). The three of us made a happy little trio, and we were very, very tight.
Towards the end of senior year, however, we had a fight, and it looked as if the three of us were going to end our friendships. BFF #1, whom we'll refer to as P, broke up with her longtime boyfriend and was dealing with the fallout with that--dating guys she normally wouldn't date, hanging out with people she normally wouldn't spend time with. BFF #2, whom we'll refer to as K, was acting very secretive around the two of us, and he would often leave campus without telling us where he was going and what he was doing.
My BFFs bonded over their mutual troubles--and left me out in the cold.
It felt awful, and to this day, my college graduation is still somewhat bittersweet because of the events that had unfolded.
Time, however, healed our wounds. Six months after graduation, K called and we talked for two hours. Long story short, K came out of the closet, and he was dealing with the fallout amongst his family, as well as his friends. We still had a lot of healing to do, and it took several years for us to completely repair our friendship. Several weeks after that, P called, and we resumed our friendship.
(NOTE: I may or may not write more about my friendship with K in the future. He knows I have a blog, but he's never read it. I don't want to talk about it in depth or very personally without having his permission first. From here on, though, I'm going to talk about P).
Anyway, P lived in another state, and we weren't able to see each other often. Between the time we graduated and the time she got engaged, we saw each other twice. During wedding plans, however, we saw each other much more frequently, and we were on the phone a lot--often for three hours at a time. I heard about all of the arguments she had with her family over wedding plans, all of the first details about the dress, the honeymoon plans--I heard everything. And when I was asked to be a bridesmaid, well, I thought that bonded us forever.
But it didn't.
While P was making her wedding plans, excited about the celebration she was about to have, I was a poor grad school student scraping to get by. I was taking a full-time course load, working full-time, and searching for permanent jobs for the following school year. I was fried, busy, and did I mention, poor? This should be a moot point, but at the time, it wasn't. P and her fiance had an income, an apartment, and were being given stuff, through their registry, for their new home. And here I was, a single person, barely making enough money to buy a coffee maker for my apartment.
She had a bridal shower where she got four toaster ovens. She got all her stuff for free.
I had to go buy all my appliances. I didn't have a horde of people helping me start my new life.
I started to feel bitter. I still regret feeling this way. I knew I had to be happy for my friend, and I put on a smile at that damn shower. It was very difficult, though, but not just for the material gifts. During the final months before the wedding, we had less and less to talk about. We were both embarking on different stages of our lives: she as a new wife, me moving out of my parents' house and onto my career. We just didn't have as much in common. We were both stressed out for entirely different reasons. At times, we took it out on each other.
P married in July of 2001. I moved out of my parents' house a week later. I'm glad the timing was this way, because it didn't give me any time to brood.
P and I talked on the phone every couple of months for about two or three years after she married. And then, suddenly, she stopped responding to my E-mails. She stopped calling.
I don't know what I did, if I did anything, but the fact that she never responded to the last Christmas card I sent her really saddens me.
I know where she works, but I don't know where she's living. I don't even know if she's still married. I've tried finding her on Facebook, to no avail, but I seriously doubt that P would be a Facebooker. I think the ball's in P's court now. I still have the same address that I had five years ago, I'm on our college alumni network, she knows where and how to find me. Hell, my parents still live in the same house as I did when I was in college, so she can always call my rents if she doesn't have my contact info.
I'm just so sad that I don't know why she decided not to talk to me anymore. What did I do? What did I say? Did I even do or say anything to upset her?
I would just like to talk to her one more time, just one more, to have some closure. Just a chance to say goodbye.
I don't think that will ever happen, though.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Writers Workshop: Normal is...
Here's the definition of the word "normal" according to the 1998 edition of the Webster's American College Dictionary:
1. conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; regular; natural.
2. serving to fix a standard.
3. of natural occurrence.
4. approximately average in any psychological trait, as intelligence, personality, or emotional adjustment.
5. free from any mental disorder; sane.
6. free from disease or malformation.
7. a. being at right angles, as a line; perpendicular.
b. of the nature of or pertaining to a mathematical normal.
8. the normal form or state; the average or mean.
9. the standard or common type.
I'm stopping at #9, since #10 deals with math and more perpendicular lines, and I'm worn out from the other definitions.
Let's analyze these definitions, shall we, Kittens? I'm really bothered by the word "conforming" used in the first one. I don't like that word. To me, conforming means that one has to be the same as everyone else. Conformity leaves no room for individuality. Conformity means one can't celebrate one's true self. Conformity sucks.
Definition #2: "serving to fix a standard." Well, whose job is it to set that standard? And how did that person obtain the power/means to set a standard? The same standard can mean different things to different people. Who decides what normal is? This leads to people being judgmental. That sucks, too.
Definition #3: "of natural occurrence." How did we determine what is natural? Who determines what is natural from what is artificial? We can create artificial chemicals from so-called natural materials. So is artificial natural?
Definition #4: I object to the word "average." Here's what average means to me: dull. Boring. Ordinary. Average, for me, represents beige, brown and ecru. Who determines what is average? How did this person get to determine what is average? Could it be the process of natural selection (see #3)? Was Darwin the one who separated the natural from the artificial?
Definition #5: "free of any mental disorder; sane." This irritates me the most. As a life-long sufferer of anxiety and its best buddy, depression, this immediately disqualifies me from being "normal." I will not let a dictionary determine whether or not I am qualified to meet a standard.
Definition #6: "free from disease or malformation." Again, Webster's Dictionary, you're pissing me off. I have asthma. So that means I'm not normal? That means I'm a freak?
Definition #7: OK, we're getting into math here, and I'm not a mathematician. I'm skipping over this one.
Definition #8: Again, more math here. Next.
Definition #9: "the standard or common type." Again, who determines what's standard? What's common?
My point is this: normal is bogus. I don't think there is such a thing as normal. We all need to celebrate our own individuality and not let society, or anyone else, tell us how to be. I'm going to celebrate my quirks and be proud of the person I am, and I hope that y'all do the same!
Kitten has spoken.
1. conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; regular; natural.
2. serving to fix a standard.
3. of natural occurrence.
4. approximately average in any psychological trait, as intelligence, personality, or emotional adjustment.
5. free from any mental disorder; sane.
6. free from disease or malformation.
7. a. being at right angles, as a line; perpendicular.
b. of the nature of or pertaining to a mathematical normal.
8. the normal form or state; the average or mean.
9. the standard or common type.
I'm stopping at #9, since #10 deals with math and more perpendicular lines, and I'm worn out from the other definitions.
Let's analyze these definitions, shall we, Kittens? I'm really bothered by the word "conforming" used in the first one. I don't like that word. To me, conforming means that one has to be the same as everyone else. Conformity leaves no room for individuality. Conformity means one can't celebrate one's true self. Conformity sucks.
Definition #2: "serving to fix a standard." Well, whose job is it to set that standard? And how did that person obtain the power/means to set a standard? The same standard can mean different things to different people. Who decides what normal is? This leads to people being judgmental. That sucks, too.
Definition #3: "of natural occurrence." How did we determine what is natural? Who determines what is natural from what is artificial? We can create artificial chemicals from so-called natural materials. So is artificial natural?
Definition #4: I object to the word "average." Here's what average means to me: dull. Boring. Ordinary. Average, for me, represents beige, brown and ecru. Who determines what is average? How did this person get to determine what is average? Could it be the process of natural selection (see #3)? Was Darwin the one who separated the natural from the artificial?
Definition #5: "free of any mental disorder; sane." This irritates me the most. As a life-long sufferer of anxiety and its best buddy, depression, this immediately disqualifies me from being "normal." I will not let a dictionary determine whether or not I am qualified to meet a standard.
Definition #6: "free from disease or malformation." Again, Webster's Dictionary, you're pissing me off. I have asthma. So that means I'm not normal? That means I'm a freak?
Definition #7: OK, we're getting into math here, and I'm not a mathematician. I'm skipping over this one.
Definition #8: Again, more math here. Next.
Definition #9: "the standard or common type." Again, who determines what's standard? What's common?
My point is this: normal is bogus. I don't think there is such a thing as normal. We all need to celebrate our own individuality and not let society, or anyone else, tell us how to be. I'm going to celebrate my quirks and be proud of the person I am, and I hope that y'all do the same!
Kitten has spoken.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Writers Workshop: Alphabet Soup
This week, Mama Kat is offering these five writing prompts:
1.) For your birthday a sibling has decided to have the first six months of your blog printed and bound. Write a forward for the book.
2.) Write a 26-line poem using all the letters of the alphabet, where the first line starts with the letter "A," the second "B," the third "C," etc., culminating with the final line starting with "Z."(writersdigest.com)
3.) Start your story with, "In retrospect, I wouldn't say it was my best idea." And end it with, "And that's how I attempted to make this world a better place.(writersdigest.com)
4.) What would the truth have done? Write about a time when honesty was NOT the best policy.(writingfix.com)
5.) What made your childhood bearable? Write about it.(writingfix.com)
Well, I immediately nixed choice #1. I know that Sister Kitten would rawther write the forward, and she always surprises me with what she writes about. I know I could get really creative with choice #3, but I am sleep deprived right now and don't have the energy to think much. Choices #4 and 5 would lead to something schmaltzy, and I'm not in the mood for schmaltz tonight.
The alphabet poem did sound like fun, though, and I'm gonna give that a try...here goes...
Another day, another dollar,
But I really want to hollar,
Can I take this great day off?
Don't tell me that I'm whining,
Even though I'm really pining
For change--perhaps a new coif?
Gotta be grateful these days
Have a job with decent wage,
I know I'm very lucky.
Just the other week,
Karma seemed real bleak,
Layoff--that would be sucky.
My boss gave us the news,
No job cuts--we said "Phew!"
Onto brighter days.
Please forgive this author,
Quite frankly, it's a bother
Rhyming leaves me hazed.
So in conclusion I
Think think that I will try
Undoing all my rhymes.
Very quickly I realize
Why I can't apologize
EXcept these aren't the times.
You see, I have to finish what I started.
Zing! I'm done--I'm now departed.
I thought the rhymes would be catchy, but I'll be honest with you--this was very difficult! Once I start to rhyme, I can't stop. It was hard enough coming up with the letters of the alphabet!!
On a side note: Jenners, this'll be my entry for your bad writing game.
At least I got something outta the deal.
1.) For your birthday a sibling has decided to have the first six months of your blog printed and bound. Write a forward for the book.
2.) Write a 26-line poem using all the letters of the alphabet, where the first line starts with the letter "A," the second "B," the third "C," etc., culminating with the final line starting with "Z."(writersdigest.com)
3.) Start your story with, "In retrospect, I wouldn't say it was my best idea." And end it with, "And that's how I attempted to make this world a better place.(writersdigest.com)
4.) What would the truth have done? Write about a time when honesty was NOT the best policy.(writingfix.com)
5.) What made your childhood bearable? Write about it.(writingfix.com)
Well, I immediately nixed choice #1. I know that Sister Kitten would rawther write the forward, and she always surprises me with what she writes about. I know I could get really creative with choice #3, but I am sleep deprived right now and don't have the energy to think much. Choices #4 and 5 would lead to something schmaltzy, and I'm not in the mood for schmaltz tonight.
The alphabet poem did sound like fun, though, and I'm gonna give that a try...here goes...
Another day, another dollar,
But I really want to hollar,
Can I take this great day off?
Don't tell me that I'm whining,
Even though I'm really pining
For change--perhaps a new coif?
Gotta be grateful these days
Have a job with decent wage,
I know I'm very lucky.
Just the other week,
Karma seemed real bleak,
Layoff--that would be sucky.
My boss gave us the news,
No job cuts--we said "Phew!"
Onto brighter days.
Please forgive this author,
Quite frankly, it's a bother
Rhyming leaves me hazed.
So in conclusion I
Think think that I will try
Undoing all my rhymes.
Very quickly I realize
Why I can't apologize
EXcept these aren't the times.
You see, I have to finish what I started.
Zing! I'm done--I'm now departed.
I thought the rhymes would be catchy, but I'll be honest with you--this was very difficult! Once I start to rhyme, I can't stop. It was hard enough coming up with the letters of the alphabet!!
On a side note: Jenners, this'll be my entry for your bad writing game.
At least I got something outta the deal.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Writers Workshop: My Biggest Pet Peeve
Among those writing prompts listed over at Mama Kat's blog was this little gem:
"What's your number one pet peeve? Develop a punishment for anyone caught in the act."
This one required a lot of thought, Kittens. I have a rawther big pet peeve, but I was debating in my mind what the punishment should be.
I can't stand text messaging. I really, really loathe it and the lexicon that is used, such as IDK, OMG, BTW, LOL, and BFF. I realize why this was developed, because many text messaging plans only allow you to use a limited number of characters per message, but I absolutely loathe when people use phrases such as: "R U going 2 da rstrnt 2 nite?"
My best friend and my friend K are the only people I know, besides myself, who text message using correct spelling, grammar, and complete sentences. I know it takes us a lot longer to text than the average person, but to me, there's absolutely no excuse for poor grammar or spelling. I have a friend who graduated from college Phi Beta Kappa, has a master's from Harvard, and she resorts to the classic abbreviated texting lexicon. Ironic, dontcha think?
What especially bothers me is that this texting lexicon has permeated standard grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Because of this, our language is "de-volving." Fifty years from now, our language will be reduced to a series of grunts and nonsensical words made up of only three letters. Imagine this conversation in your local grocery store:
CUSTOMER: OMG, no fnd da chz. Wrz it?
EMPLOYEE: IDK. Nxt 2 mlk, I tink.
CUSTOMER: OK, BRB.
Soooo...an appropriate punishment, shall we say? I have the perfect solution, and it all comes courtesy of my English teacher from my freshman year of high school (not the one I've mentioned on the blog before, a different lady).
My English teacher from my freshman year of high school made us diagram sentences ad nauseum. At the time, I hated every moment of it, but now, I appreciate it. I know the difference between an adjective and an adverb, subject and predicate, and dependent and independent clauses. I will admit that diagramming sentences is not fun; it's boring. And what could be a more boring activity on a Saturday night than diagramming sentences?
So here's how the punishment rolls out: first-time bad grammar offenders will be sent to the slammer from Friday at 5 PM till Sunday at 5 PM. During their confinement, their cell phones will be taken away so they won't be able to text. They will then spend the next 48 hours in solitary confinement, in a windowless room, with nothing but a desk, paper, a writing utensil, and Warriner's English Grammar and Composition. They will do nothing but diagram sentences for 48 hours straight.
And 48 hours is just the minimum sentence. If, after 48 hours they can't diagram a sentence or haven't mastered the proper rules of English grammar, they have to stay in the slammer till they get it right.
The grammar prison is supervised by a trifecta of wardens. In addition to my English teachers from my freshman and sophomore years of high school, they have the strictest warden of all: my mother, Mama Cat. Mama Cat was an English major, and while she never taught, she was the utmost grammarian. She constantly corrected my improper grammar when I was growing up, and I am a much better person for it. She always read my papers, and was absolutely vicious with the red pen.
Here's how the wardens work: the English teachers inspect the offenders' sentences. When they give the OK to their work, they turn it over to Mama Cat for final inspection. My mama will wield her red pen, and even if she finds one minor mistake, back to the cell the offenders go. If mama gives the OK, then the offenders may leave grammar prison.
However, once the reformed grammarians leave grammar prison, their text messages will be monitored. A board of retired English teachers will work with computer programmers to carry out this mammoth job. If anyone is caught with bad grammar in their text messages, then they have to check into the William Safire Center for Grammar Rehabilitation for a minimum 30-day stay.
Now Kittens, I am not perfect, and I have been guilty of using bad grammar and spelling in much of my posting. I occasionally use the terms "BFF" and "LOL", but I don't make it a standard part of my writing. I used the word "dontcha" earlier in my post for stylistic effect, but that's about the limit to my misspellings.
So Kittens, do yourselves a favor: If you currently employ texting lexicon on a regular basis in your posting, watch out. My mama and I will come after you with the Warriner's Grammar sooner than you think!
"What's your number one pet peeve? Develop a punishment for anyone caught in the act."
This one required a lot of thought, Kittens. I have a rawther big pet peeve, but I was debating in my mind what the punishment should be.
I can't stand text messaging. I really, really loathe it and the lexicon that is used, such as IDK, OMG, BTW, LOL, and BFF. I realize why this was developed, because many text messaging plans only allow you to use a limited number of characters per message, but I absolutely loathe when people use phrases such as: "R U going 2 da rstrnt 2 nite?"
My best friend and my friend K are the only people I know, besides myself, who text message using correct spelling, grammar, and complete sentences. I know it takes us a lot longer to text than the average person, but to me, there's absolutely no excuse for poor grammar or spelling. I have a friend who graduated from college Phi Beta Kappa, has a master's from Harvard, and she resorts to the classic abbreviated texting lexicon. Ironic, dontcha think?
What especially bothers me is that this texting lexicon has permeated standard grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Because of this, our language is "de-volving." Fifty years from now, our language will be reduced to a series of grunts and nonsensical words made up of only three letters. Imagine this conversation in your local grocery store:
CUSTOMER: OMG, no fnd da chz. Wrz it?
EMPLOYEE: IDK. Nxt 2 mlk, I tink.
CUSTOMER: OK, BRB.
Soooo...an appropriate punishment, shall we say? I have the perfect solution, and it all comes courtesy of my English teacher from my freshman year of high school (not the one I've mentioned on the blog before, a different lady).
My English teacher from my freshman year of high school made us diagram sentences ad nauseum. At the time, I hated every moment of it, but now, I appreciate it. I know the difference between an adjective and an adverb, subject and predicate, and dependent and independent clauses. I will admit that diagramming sentences is not fun; it's boring. And what could be a more boring activity on a Saturday night than diagramming sentences?
So here's how the punishment rolls out: first-time bad grammar offenders will be sent to the slammer from Friday at 5 PM till Sunday at 5 PM. During their confinement, their cell phones will be taken away so they won't be able to text. They will then spend the next 48 hours in solitary confinement, in a windowless room, with nothing but a desk, paper, a writing utensil, and Warriner's English Grammar and Composition. They will do nothing but diagram sentences for 48 hours straight.
And 48 hours is just the minimum sentence. If, after 48 hours they can't diagram a sentence or haven't mastered the proper rules of English grammar, they have to stay in the slammer till they get it right.
The grammar prison is supervised by a trifecta of wardens. In addition to my English teachers from my freshman and sophomore years of high school, they have the strictest warden of all: my mother, Mama Cat. Mama Cat was an English major, and while she never taught, she was the utmost grammarian. She constantly corrected my improper grammar when I was growing up, and I am a much better person for it. She always read my papers, and was absolutely vicious with the red pen.
Here's how the wardens work: the English teachers inspect the offenders' sentences. When they give the OK to their work, they turn it over to Mama Cat for final inspection. My mama will wield her red pen, and even if she finds one minor mistake, back to the cell the offenders go. If mama gives the OK, then the offenders may leave grammar prison.
However, once the reformed grammarians leave grammar prison, their text messages will be monitored. A board of retired English teachers will work with computer programmers to carry out this mammoth job. If anyone is caught with bad grammar in their text messages, then they have to check into the William Safire Center for Grammar Rehabilitation for a minimum 30-day stay.
Now Kittens, I am not perfect, and I have been guilty of using bad grammar and spelling in much of my posting. I occasionally use the terms "BFF" and "LOL", but I don't make it a standard part of my writing. I used the word "dontcha" earlier in my post for stylistic effect, but that's about the limit to my misspellings.
So Kittens, do yourselves a favor: If you currently employ texting lexicon on a regular basis in your posting, watch out. My mama and I will come after you with the Warriner's Grammar sooner than you think!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Writers Workshop: February 12, 2009
Greetings, Kittens!
It's Thursday and time for another installment of Writers Workshop, courtesy of Mama Kat.
This week's prompt:
What was the first CD (or record or cassette) you ever purchased? Write about the way that particular album made you feel then. Write about how it makes you feel now.
The first cassette I ever purchased was Debbie Gibson's first album, Out of the Blue. I think it was back in 1987, but I do remember that I was fifth grade, and I was with my BFF Beth at the time I bought it. (Come to think of it, it WAS 1987. But I digress).
I bought it at Ames. Ames is a Connecticut-based department store--if you could call it that--that no longer exists. The merchandise at Ames was wicked cheap, and the quality was wicked horrible. Still, to a fifth grader with little to no money, Ames was good for buying cheap stuff.
The cassettes were among the cheap stuff we got at Ames.
The first time we listened to the tape, we listened to it on Beth's pink--or was it blue?--boom box. We were in her bedroom. I was introducing her to Ms. Gibson's tunes. "Only in My Dreams" was out for a while, and "Shake Your Love" was playing on the radio too. I loved both songs. Beth, at first, wasn't too crazy about it, and I, thinking that I was such a connoisseur of good music, thought she was nuts.
Then "Foolish Beat" came out, and that changed everything, not just for Beth, but for many of my female fifth grade classmates. A bunch of us bought the tape and sang her songs, and watched her videos on MTV, back when MTV was Music Television, merci beaucoup. I have memories of me and my girlfriends at a middle school dance in sixth grade, dancing to "Red Hot."
And I was a charter member of her fan club!
I never saw her in concert; Mama and Papa Cat didn't have the money to go to concerts; nor did any of us have the brilliant idea to actually go to a Debbie Gibson concert.
Then the Electric Youth album came out, and we all got it at Ames. I liked it better than the first album. I thought the songs were better, and more...well, for lack of a better word, "emo." She wrote a lot about love and heartbreak on that album, and as a lovestruck middle schooler, that spoke to me.
By the time her third album came out, I think it was Anything is Possible, I had moved on to other artists. I still kept my cassettes, but by that time CDs were starting to be sold. When I got to high school I never admitted that I was a Debbie Gibson fan. I did not want to be ostricized for my musical tastes.
College came and went, and I had a few good friends who liked some of Debbie's songs, but not necessarily her. Too goody-goody, they said. So I kept myself a closeted Debbie Gibson fan.
Years pass, and one day, I found all of my old mix tapes. Lo and behold, I found Out of the Blue and Electric Youth.
I put 'em in the tape player (I still have one in my stereo), and took a trip in the Wayback Machine.
Suddenly, I found myself back in Beth's bedroom, listening to "Out of the Blue" come out of her boom box. I was back in the middle school gym, dancing to "Red Hot". I was back at the Jersey Shore, listening to "Electric Youth" on the beach.
I'm surprised I didn't wear either of those tapes out. They were still in good condition.
Then iTunes came out and I put Deb on the ol' iPod shuffle.
As an adult, I'm no longer embarrassed to admit I'm a Debbie Gibson fan. Most people will correct me and say she goes by "Deborah" now, but to me, she'll always be Debbie. Her music will always bring back the good times I had as a carefree preteen, before I became your stereotypical emo adolescent girl.
But that's another post for another time.
Meanwhile, enjoy this:
It's Thursday and time for another installment of Writers Workshop, courtesy of Mama Kat.
This week's prompt:
What was the first CD (or record or cassette) you ever purchased? Write about the way that particular album made you feel then. Write about how it makes you feel now.
The first cassette I ever purchased was Debbie Gibson's first album, Out of the Blue. I think it was back in 1987, but I do remember that I was fifth grade, and I was with my BFF Beth at the time I bought it. (Come to think of it, it WAS 1987. But I digress).
I bought it at Ames. Ames is a Connecticut-based department store--if you could call it that--that no longer exists. The merchandise at Ames was wicked cheap, and the quality was wicked horrible. Still, to a fifth grader with little to no money, Ames was good for buying cheap stuff.
The cassettes were among the cheap stuff we got at Ames.
The first time we listened to the tape, we listened to it on Beth's pink--or was it blue?--boom box. We were in her bedroom. I was introducing her to Ms. Gibson's tunes. "Only in My Dreams" was out for a while, and "Shake Your Love" was playing on the radio too. I loved both songs. Beth, at first, wasn't too crazy about it, and I, thinking that I was such a connoisseur of good music, thought she was nuts.
Then "Foolish Beat" came out, and that changed everything, not just for Beth, but for many of my female fifth grade classmates. A bunch of us bought the tape and sang her songs, and watched her videos on MTV, back when MTV was Music Television, merci beaucoup. I have memories of me and my girlfriends at a middle school dance in sixth grade, dancing to "Red Hot."
And I was a charter member of her fan club!
I never saw her in concert; Mama and Papa Cat didn't have the money to go to concerts; nor did any of us have the brilliant idea to actually go to a Debbie Gibson concert.
Then the Electric Youth album came out, and we all got it at Ames. I liked it better than the first album. I thought the songs were better, and more...well, for lack of a better word, "emo." She wrote a lot about love and heartbreak on that album, and as a lovestruck middle schooler, that spoke to me.
By the time her third album came out, I think it was Anything is Possible, I had moved on to other artists. I still kept my cassettes, but by that time CDs were starting to be sold. When I got to high school I never admitted that I was a Debbie Gibson fan. I did not want to be ostricized for my musical tastes.
College came and went, and I had a few good friends who liked some of Debbie's songs, but not necessarily her. Too goody-goody, they said. So I kept myself a closeted Debbie Gibson fan.
Years pass, and one day, I found all of my old mix tapes. Lo and behold, I found Out of the Blue and Electric Youth.
I put 'em in the tape player (I still have one in my stereo), and took a trip in the Wayback Machine.
Suddenly, I found myself back in Beth's bedroom, listening to "Out of the Blue" come out of her boom box. I was back in the middle school gym, dancing to "Red Hot". I was back at the Jersey Shore, listening to "Electric Youth" on the beach.
I'm surprised I didn't wear either of those tapes out. They were still in good condition.
Then iTunes came out and I put Deb on the ol' iPod shuffle.
As an adult, I'm no longer embarrassed to admit I'm a Debbie Gibson fan. Most people will correct me and say she goes by "Deborah" now, but to me, she'll always be Debbie. Her music will always bring back the good times I had as a carefree preteen, before I became your stereotypical emo adolescent girl.
But that's another post for another time.
Meanwhile, enjoy this:
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Writer's Workshop: 10 Things on My Mind This Week
My bloggy pal Jenners introduced me to MamaKat's blog and her neat Writer's Workshop posts. For each Writer's Workshop, we're given a choice of prompts, and here is the prompt that I chose for this week:
Write a list of ten things on your mind this week.
1. I am sick of politics. I never thought I'd say this, but I could just vomit at all the bitter bipartisanship that's going on in Washington. It's become an "everyone's out for himself" show now, and it seems like there are quite a few politicians who don't care about the future of this country right now. That having been said, I can't resist going onto CNN.com several times a day. It's a hard habit to break.
2. I need to save some money, more than I have been saving. I've made tremendous progress financially over the past year and I'm really proud of myself for that. However, I just learned that my car needs new rear struts, and that's not a cheap bill. It seems like every time I make headway, there's always a setback. I'm trying not to get discouraged.
3. I need a haircut. I haven't had a haircut since Election Day, and it's getting to be time for a trim. I always know when it's time for a trim when I wear a ponytail to work at least twice a week. I haven't been for two reasons: one, laziness, and two, lack of funds.
4. I've got a lot of grading to complete. This is how I'm spending my weekend--grading quizzes and projects.
5. I feel like I have no leadership skills, either in my job or my extracurricular conquests. I want to lead a committee or a project, or even a church service, but don't know where to start. I don't have a personality that's assertive enough to get people to get on a bandwagon.
6. Lately I've been feeling a lot of guilt. I have a job, where millions of others don't. I have good friends and a supportive family. I should be happy. But I still feel a lot of guilt.
7. Lately I've been feeling way too selfish. I should be doing a volunteer project or advising a club or something like that, because everything I've been doing lately has been purely for myself. I've been working out, eating healthy, and reading a lot. But I feel like something's missing.
8. I feel like this blog has lacked a lot of substance. I like posting my book reviews and all, as well as my day to day stuff, but when I compare it to what other bloggers are writing about, I feel like I've got a shriveled-up, wasted corner of the blogosphere sometimes. There are those who blog about causes, and those who blog about serious issues going on in their lives, and I feel like my place is just a little piece of fluff. At least that's how I feel right now. But I keep up with this because it's a huge release for me, creatively and emotionally. (I hope I don't lose a lot of followers because I just wrote that!)
9. I'm really looking forward to vacation the week after next. I'm housesitting for a good friend of mine. I'm looking forward to starting my first chunkster, The Pillars of the Earth.
10. I really need to have a five-year plan. I feel like I've become stagnant and lazy in my career and my life. I need to examine: Where do I want to be in five years? All I know is that I'm not sure I want to stay in Connecticut. I'm ready for a change...but I don't want anything too drastic, too soon.
I guess I've had a lot more on my mind than I thought! This was not an easy post to write, and I was on the verge of tears for a lot of it. I hope the weekend brings some perspective, like last weekend did for me.
Write a list of ten things on your mind this week.
1. I am sick of politics. I never thought I'd say this, but I could just vomit at all the bitter bipartisanship that's going on in Washington. It's become an "everyone's out for himself" show now, and it seems like there are quite a few politicians who don't care about the future of this country right now. That having been said, I can't resist going onto CNN.com several times a day. It's a hard habit to break.
2. I need to save some money, more than I have been saving. I've made tremendous progress financially over the past year and I'm really proud of myself for that. However, I just learned that my car needs new rear struts, and that's not a cheap bill. It seems like every time I make headway, there's always a setback. I'm trying not to get discouraged.
3. I need a haircut. I haven't had a haircut since Election Day, and it's getting to be time for a trim. I always know when it's time for a trim when I wear a ponytail to work at least twice a week. I haven't been for two reasons: one, laziness, and two, lack of funds.
4. I've got a lot of grading to complete. This is how I'm spending my weekend--grading quizzes and projects.
5. I feel like I have no leadership skills, either in my job or my extracurricular conquests. I want to lead a committee or a project, or even a church service, but don't know where to start. I don't have a personality that's assertive enough to get people to get on a bandwagon.
6. Lately I've been feeling a lot of guilt. I have a job, where millions of others don't. I have good friends and a supportive family. I should be happy. But I still feel a lot of guilt.
7. Lately I've been feeling way too selfish. I should be doing a volunteer project or advising a club or something like that, because everything I've been doing lately has been purely for myself. I've been working out, eating healthy, and reading a lot. But I feel like something's missing.
8. I feel like this blog has lacked a lot of substance. I like posting my book reviews and all, as well as my day to day stuff, but when I compare it to what other bloggers are writing about, I feel like I've got a shriveled-up, wasted corner of the blogosphere sometimes. There are those who blog about causes, and those who blog about serious issues going on in their lives, and I feel like my place is just a little piece of fluff. At least that's how I feel right now. But I keep up with this because it's a huge release for me, creatively and emotionally. (I hope I don't lose a lot of followers because I just wrote that!)
9. I'm really looking forward to vacation the week after next. I'm housesitting for a good friend of mine. I'm looking forward to starting my first chunkster, The Pillars of the Earth.
10. I really need to have a five-year plan. I feel like I've become stagnant and lazy in my career and my life. I need to examine: Where do I want to be in five years? All I know is that I'm not sure I want to stay in Connecticut. I'm ready for a change...but I don't want anything too drastic, too soon.
I guess I've had a lot more on my mind than I thought! This was not an easy post to write, and I was on the verge of tears for a lot of it. I hope the weekend brings some perspective, like last weekend did for me.
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