The Queen's Meme: WBLOG-TV

Kittens, I have a wee problem this week. You see, Queen Mimi is mad at me--well, is still mad at me. You see, in last week's meme, I called her mean. She was so upset about that that she threw me in the dungeon at Bloggingham Palace.

Well, this week I am late with the meme, since I've been away. I'm hoping to redeem your graces with this, your Majesty, even though I am late.

But kittens, you can help me win my freedom from the dungeon.

And it's easy.

All you have to do is go to The Queen's Meme. In the upper left hand corner, there is a poll: "Who Should Get Out of the Dungeon This Week?" You can choose to vote among four bloggers. I am currently tied for the lead with a fellow named Thom; we each have 62% of the vote. I hope you all choose wisely. ;)

(Of course, my vote solicitation may result in an additional week's imprisonment...but it's worth a shot, no?)

Now for the good stuff (quoted from the Queen herself)!

WBLOG TV: The Meme

The place where unbloggable news happens and sources are never a secret. You are the creator, producer, writer and news anchor of the WBLOG nightly news. It is your job to deliver the news in your own style from your own blog.

And oh, you get to make up the news! Here's your assignment:

1. The Weather Channel: Give me your personality forecast. Are you sunny, wet, windy, or cloudy? Why?

Hmmm...let's see...I'd have to say, mostly sunny, with just a few happy little puffy white clouds in the sky. No storms on the horizon. High: 77 degrees; Low: 52.

2. The News Channel: What is the breaking news story of the day in your world?

The Bookkitten, in a desperate effort to escape the dungeon of Bloggingham Palace, has grovelled in front of the whole blogosphere and is begging her loyal readers to go vote for her freedom. She only used the conference that she was attending as a guise for her true whereabouts...

3. The Economic Channel: How are things on the economic front? And more importantly, do you have ideas to save the planet from financial ruin?

Things are improving on the economic front, thanks for asking. As for saving the planet from financial ruin...I say, let's move back to a simpler lifestyle. The hunter-gatherer way of living could be quite appealing...but I'm not sure if I could survive on berries alone.

4. The Entertainment Channel: Give us the latest blog celebrity gossip. Dish it!

Conan O'Brien has decided to shave his head, since bald spots are appearing in his trademark red pompadour. Paris Hilton has decided to marry a guy who isn't in show business and has donated her entire fortune to charity. William Shatner is being considered for an Emmy nomination for his interpretation of Sarah Palin's farewell speech.

Oh, and did I mention...it's snowing in Los Angeles as I write this?

5. The Sports Channel: Make up a sport, give your team a name and choose five players from the list of names on the Mr. Linky list. What are the rules of the game?

The International Olympic Committee (IOC) has voted to grant hopscotch medal status in the 2012 games. For authenticity, the matches will be played on sidewalks. Piccadilly Circus will be closed entirely during the London Games so spectators can watch these intense matches.

The American team is led by Autumn, who was of great assistance in their triumphant victory over the British team, led by Duchess Dethroned, during the 2009 World Championships. This sets the stage for an intense across-the-pond rivalry. The Americans and the Brits, however, face some big competition from the French team, coached expertly by Jean-Luc Picard. Recall that the French lost the bronze medal when the Australians won the third-place match in an upset victory. Previously, the Aussies, led by Angelia, were ranked seventh in the world.

6. The Comedy Channel: How will you make us laugh today? Tell us a blunny (that's blog + funny for all you non-blog speakers)

I got nuttin.' That is, I don't have anything original. What do you want me to do, dress in drag and do the hula?

7. The Religious Channel: Make up a blog religion. Tell us why your blog church will save our souls.

May I suggest reading the new #1 New York Times bestseller, The Gospel According to Kitten? Written by none other than moi? Reading, as they used to say in the PSAs from the 1970s, is fundamental. Unless you don't read. Well, if you're reading this blog, you are reading right now. How will I save your souls? By encouraging you to read BOOKS! Go to Borders! Spend some dough!

THAT'S how I'm gonna save the planet from economic ruin! Get more people to buy books!

8. (but who's counting?) The Soap Opera Channel: What is the name of your soap opera?

That's easy. Songs of the Borax. I'd dress like Heidi, wear some Viking horns and braids, and dance around singing about Palmolive in a very high, Julie Andrews-esque soprano.

That's it for this week, my darling kittens. And PLEASE don't forget to vote me out of the dungeon!