Thursday Thunks, July 29, 2010

1. We know how creative Berleen is with her terrific tee-shirts and such, so how about you? Do you draw anything or perhaps your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
I scrapbook and cross stitch. That's pretty crafty. As for drawing, stick figures are the way to go for moi.

2. Kimber doesn’t always leave her house. I wonder if she knows what is out her back door. What is out your back door?
Trees and a state highway. And the other half of the horseshoe driveway that goes through my condo complex.

3. Do you prefer the beach, a pool or a lake? Why?
The beach. More opportunities for people watching, plus I love the salty air scent. And there's nothing like the feeling of sand between your toes.

4. What is something recently that happened to you that you are REALLY excited about?
Life's been pretty dull lately. Like I said on Facebook the other night, there are some potentially exciting changes coming up, but first I gotta go through Freakout Mode. (I'm not ready to share those changes in Blogland, yet, though. However, I must add it has nothing to do with a new man in my life).

5. I am fortunate that I come from a very close family. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive? If not did you ever meet them?
I only met my great-grandparents through stories my own parents told.

6. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group? Tell us about it.
About a week ago, at a church meeting. Nothing major, just expressing an opinion.

7. Have you ever bungee jumped? Would you ever bungee jump?
No to both questions!!!

8. How strong emotionally do you think you are?
I'm a little weakling.

9. Kimber and Berleen still have NEVER met, yet they are best friends. What is the first thing you notice about people when you meet them?
Eyes are the windows to the soul.

10. Who do you mess with the most?
My best friend. Because it's FUN!!!

11. Who was the last person you talked to on a landline?
Uhhhh...what's a landline?

12. I finally saw Avatar this week. What was the last movie you watched long after it came out and loved?
I honestly don't know. I'm not into movies.

13. What did you dream about last night?
Blackness. Pitch blackness.

The songs in my head

I discovered this video the other day, and it is my current YouTube favorite. Your favorite NPR personalities spoof Lady Gaga.

It's nice to finally put some faces to the names. And that Guy Raz is HOTTTTTT!!!!!! (And Ari Shapiro's not that bad looking, either).

Hungry

Ever have one of those nights where you're just not hungry enough for your usual dinner, and then, a few hours later, you find that you've got a ravenous appetite?

Such is the case with tonight. I really didn't feel like eating a complete dinner, but I needed something to tie me over, so I opened a can of organic sweet corn, heated it up a little, and ate it. I figured it was a vegetable, and it would fill me up.

And now, six hours après le repas, I'm feeling it. I'm starving.

Or am I?

Is it because I'm housesitting and I'm bored and I really want to go home? Is it because of the thunderstorms that moved through the area, and I'm away from my cats right now? Is my hunger more emotional as opposed to physical?

Either way, I'm going to bed. I figure I can have a nice, wholesome breakfast in the morning.

Something with protein.

To keep me from going hungry.

Book Review: About Alice, by Calvin Trillin

This is the latest in the string of memoirs that men have written about their late/critically ill wives. I assure you, kittens, that it was purely coincidence that I read three of these books in a row. But this volume was in the bargain bin at Borders, and I had heard a lot of good things about it, so I picked it up.

About Alice is a loving, affectionate memoir about Alice Trillin, who was the muse, editor, and chief critic/confidante to New Yorker magazine writer Calvin Trillin. Alice, he writes, was the one who ensured that her family ate three square meals a day. She was the one who insisted that a parent attend every single performance of their child's play, no matter how poor it was. She was Calvin's biggest critic, reading over every draft of a piece that he wrote for the New Yorker. He knew the minute that Alice frowned that he would have to rewrite, most likely several drafts worth, of his story.

Mostly, About Alice is a story of courage. Alice Trillin was diagnosed with lung cancer when her daughters, Abigail and Sarah, were very young, seven and four, respectively. She wanted to beat the disease in any way she could, in order to see her daughters grow up. She ultimately survived, and watched her daughters marry. Calvin Trillin writes admiringly about Alice's determination, especially during her final years.

I was not familiar with Calvin Trillin's work before I read this book, and I am not sure if I would pursue his works any further. While About Alice was a very touching story, it was very dry at times. This had nothing to do with the subject matter. Sometimes Trillin can get on a tangent and ramble on about topics that have nothing to do with the main plot. This is where I found the book to be tedious. However, you can't deny the affection, admiration, or love that he had for his wife. That is really what makes the book worth reading.

Thursday Thunks--July 15, 2010

Okay, okay, I know I'm posting these on a Friday, but SHEESH!!!

1. Billy Mays died about a year ago. What kitchen gadgets have you bought that you've used less than three times? What are they?
My Pampered Chef cookie press. I just can't seem to get the hang of it. Not that I have time to bake cookies these days...

2. What celebrity would you like to shake some sense into, and why?
Mel Gibson. Given all of the press about his rants on tape, I don't feel the need to explain.

3. Jimmy Buffett just did on concert to benefit the victims of the Gulf. Name a Buffett song that you like.
"Come Monday"

4. How did you feel about Ringo Starr turned 70?
A Beatle is 70 and still rockin'! Good for him!

5. What sport do you absolute see no point in watching?
Synchronized diving. What's the point of it?

6. Trivia time. Do you know the first names of the French twins?
Michelle and Ma-Belle.

7. You are in the best seafood restaurant in Canada. What type of meat do you order?
The rarest, juiciest steak available.

8. How far would an electric car have to go without a recharge before you'd buy one?
100 miles

9. Did you see that a high court ruled that you can swear on regular TV? What word can you just not wait to hear?
Motherf---er. I can't even swear on my own blog.

10. You are in the finest steak and rib joint in Kimberville (Arizona). What seafood dish do you order?
LOBSTAH!!!

11. What was the last concert that you attended that really sucked?
I've never been to a sucky concert, thank goodness.

12. What type of accent would you like to have, if you were forced to change yours?
I've got a thing for Australian accents.

13. Kimber's got four kids with chicken pox. Berleen is not feeling the love today, so I was asked to host. What do you miss most when neither originator of TT is asking the questions?
Honestly, it's been so long since I've thunked that I can't answer this question!

Book review: Jan's Story, by Barry Petersen

CBS News correspondent Barry Petersen had an idyllic marriage to one-time local TV news anchor Jan Chorlton. They were the couple known as "Darling and Darling." They spent many happy years traveling the world together, as CBS News sent Petersen on assignments in such places as Tokyo, Moscow, and London.

Yet over time, subtle changes occurred with Jan. First there was the depression, the unwillingness to leave the apartment. Then came the memory lapses and the strange behavior, ranging from leaving the stove on to wearing street clothes to bed instead of pajamas. Finally, Petersen contacted a neurologist back in the States (he and Jan were living in Tokyo at the time), and after a phone consultation, Jan was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer's. She was 55 years old.

At first, Petersen was Jan's sole caregiver, but the role soon became physically, emotionally, and mentally taxing, as Jan's behavior and emotions became more difficult to handle. He then hired a live-in nurse to become Jan's caregiver, but her emotional outbursts became more difficult to handle, especially in public. Finally, after much painful debate, and careful consultation with Jan's friends and family, Petersen made the difficult decision to place Jan in assisted living. At the time, the Petersens were still living in Tokyo, and Jan was sent to a nursing home in Bellevue, Washington. Even after Jan was placed in assisted living, Petersen was still unprepared for the continued taxation that this decision took on his mental and physical state.

Jan's Story is an incredibly honest, candid look at the repercussions that friends and family face when dealing with Alzheimer's. This is one of those books where you really experience the emotions along with the storyteller; I found myself feeling angry, sad, and pained as Petersen wrote about losing his beloved wife. He refers to Alzheimer's as "The Disease," something that has taken his Jan from him--even though her physical presence is still there. At one point he writes that it is like going to the same funeral, over and over again.

This book is a quick read, something that most readers may be able to finish in one sitting, because the storytelling is very engaging. However, the emotions are so raw and strong that I had to put the book down after a few chapters before I felt ready to read it again.

I was inspired to read Jan's Story after watching this segment on CBS News Sunday Morning, where Petersen serves as a correspondent. As painful as it was to watch, and as painful as the book could be to read, it is still a moving testament to the struggles that Alzheimer's families face every day.

Book review: Love is a Mix Tape, by Rob Sheffield

Ahhh, the mix tape. At first it was a rite of passage as an adolescent: When a friend made a mix tape especially for you, that was one of the ultimate signs of true friendship. Same goes for when a boyfriend or girlfriend made you one; it was a sign that he/she really cared.

I remember creating mix tapes as early as the fifth grade. Back then I would have the radio on for hours, listening intently for my favorite songs, and would press record the minute they came on. In high school and college my mix tape creations evolved to bumming CDs and cassettes off friends and dorm mates. I was meticulous about creating the perfect playlists. I purposely chose songs that would forever remind me of that one special occasion, that one special car trip, that one special place or person in my life.

For me, music can take me places that other senses can't: It stirs memories, feelings, and passions way down deep in my soul. If you play, for instance, "Sherrie," I'm immediately transported back to my college's mailroom. That song was playing the first time I ever checked my on-campus mailbox. You play "American Pie," and I'm back in Boston, in 1993, when I was at a leadership conference for Catholic youth.

Rob Sheffield, a contributing editor for Rolling Stone, feels the same way. Each chapter begins with a list of songs on a mix tape that is significant to a specific year. Love is a Mix Tape is, indeed, a love story about Sheffield and his wife, Renée, a punk-rock loving girl from the deep south. He uses the mix tapes to chronicle their courtship, wedding, and first years of marriage. He and Renée, at the time, were both freelance music writers. Early in the book, Sheffield recalls the first time he met Renée, in a bar in Charlottesville, where they were both attending grad school:

When the bartender at the Eastern Standard put on a tape, Big Star's Radio City, she was the only other person in the room who perked up. So we drank bourbon and talked about music. we traded stories about the bands we liked, shows we'd seen. Renée loved the Replacements and Alex Chilton and the Meat Puppets. So did I. (p. 3)

Rob and Renée's love affair lasted seven years, ending with her sudden death at the age of 31. (No, this is NOT a spoiler; it was written in the summary on the back of the cover.) Following her death, Sheffield is plunged into a very deep grief. He writes candidly and frankly about his panic attacks, his self-imposed isolation from his friends, and the depression he experienced upon her passing. Throughout his journey, like he did earlier in the book, Sheffield includes his mix tapes, and reflects on how certain songs got to symbolize this painful time in his life.

One of the reasons why I enjoyed Love is a Mix Tape so much was that it was as much of a journey into music history as it was a memoir about a lost love. Sheffield is passionate about punk, and reflects upon how he and Renée felt when they saw their music "go mainstream" in 1991. Then again, one shouldn't be surprised about this aspect of the book, considering that Sheffield is a contributing editor for Rolling Stone, the granddaddy of music journalism. Sometimes, though, Sheffield goes off track when he starts writing about the evolution of music and veers far away from the main storyline, but he always returns to it when a fresh chapter starts. If you're really into music, you'll appreciate this layer to the memoir, but if you're not, you may find it a little tedious.

I have to recommend Love is a Mix Tape for the storyline, the storytelling, and the commentary on the music industry. Sheffield also includes, in several places, his thoughts about the iPod and how that has made the mix tape obsolete. Which reminds me...there were some excellent songs on all of the mix tape lists that Sheffield has included in this story. You may wish to have your computer beside you as you read, so you can download some of the songs from the iTunes bookstore. If anything, this book helped me fill in some gaps in my iTunes library.

BONUS LINK: There is a website called Epicwinftw.com that is about preserving childhood memories, especially if you were a kid growing up in the 70s or 80s. Here is a page dedicated to the mix tape. Enjoy!

Book Review: The Elegance of the Hedgehog, by Muriel Barbery

A friend of mine had read this in her book club, based upon a recommendation I had made. I was quite surprised; I don't even remember recommending the book when I was in said book club! (I had to drop out due to work commitments). But I guess someone had seen it on my bookshelf, and thought it would be a great book to read.

I had picked it up at Borders because of the subject material. It takes place in Paris, at an apartment building at 7, rue de Grenelle. Renée Michel is the building's concièrge: a modest widow who goes to great lengths to conceal her intelligence. On the outside, she is poor, homely, and aloof. But take a look inside her apartment and you'll see copies of works by Proust, Marx, and other great philosophers. She quotes from such works of literature as Anna Karenina, and is very familiar with classics of the American cinema, especially Gone With the Wind.

Paloma Josse is a twelve-year-old girl living in Madame Michel's building. She is a member of France's upper class, la bourgeoisie. Her father is a member of parliament, her mother has an advanced degree in literature, and her older sister, Colombe, is a philosophy student at the École Normale Supérieure. Like Madame Michel, Paloma strives to conceal her intelligence, but, unlike Madame Michel, she is not always successful; she still earns high marks at her school. Paloma is a withdrawn child, one who plans to commit suicide on her thirteenth birthday, and then burn her family's apartment.

The first half of the book alters its narrative between Madame Michel and Paloma. Each character has their own unique way of looking at the world. Madame Michel was born to a family of poor laborers, and her upbringing has greatly affected her perception of people. Paloma was born under opposite circumstances; however, she is not very fond of being rich. She is almost embarrassed by it. Her narratives, while slightly tinged with the sort of drama only a twelve-year-old can provide, are still very deep and profound, and very mature for her age. Both Madame Michel and Paloma quote philosophers to support their opinions, and use colorful metaphors to describe what they see. For example, here's Paloma's first impression of Madame Michel:

Madame Michel has the elegance of the hedgehog: on the outside, she's covered in quills, a real fortress, but my gut feeling is that on the inside, she has the same simple refinement as the hedgehog: a deceptively indolent little creature, fiercely solitary--and terribly elegant. (p. 143)

Neither Madame Michel nor Paloma interact with each other much, if at all, until a wealthy Japanese man moves into the building. Karuko Ozu soon befriends both ladies: Paloma, because of her love for Japanese culture (especially manga), and Renée, for her love of Tolstoy. Their friendship with Karuko helps them through some difficult times: Paloma, through her adolescent struggles, and Renée, with an incident that has haunted her since childhood.

The friend who had read the book before I did advised me to have a dictionary next to me as I read the text. While I didn't have it next to me the whole time I read the book, it is still a good thing to have on hand. I learned lots of new vocabulary just from the first half of the book alone.

Additionally, the first half is packed with lots of intellectual and philosophical material. You will need to pause after reading a few chapters. Fortunately, each of the chapters are very brief. Once you've digested what you've read, keep going, but slowly. The Elegance of the Hedgehog is like a rich chocolate dessert; you can't gobble it up within five minutes. The pace of the book picks up in the second half, though, and once it starts, you don't want to put it down. The characters in this book are very well-developed, and their eloquence and ability to articulate is amazing.

So far, this is the best piece of fiction I've read all year. I like any book where the protagonists stay with you for a long time, and I certainly will keep Renée, Paloma, and Karuko very close to me.

My state of mind right now

Lucy Knisley is a Chicago-based cartoonist who publishes her own comics via her website. I first discovered her after I read her first book, French Milk, which I reviewed last year.

I had the chance to rediscover her recently, and as I was perusing her comics, I came across this little gem. It perfectly describes what I'm going through right now.

I hope you can all click to enlarge the drawing, but if you can't, you can find the original right here.

Lookin' for love online...

So I decided to take the plunge and register for some Internet dating websites. The results have been far less than promising...

First up, here's what eHarmony had to say...




And here's what Perfectmatch.com had for me...


Looks like I really AM fated to be a crazy cat lady...

When friends join the "Mommy" and "Married" Clubs

WARNING: This post may be perceived as whiny and selfish, so if you wish to spare yourself, don't read!

Over the past three months, I have had two friends get married and one friend have a baby. I am thrilled for all three of them. One friend came off of a very difficult first marriage and finally found a man who loves her and cares for her deeply. My other recently married friend finally found someone amazing after years of less-than-stellar partnerships, and many tears shed over, "Why can't I find a guy?" And my friend who just gave birth finally did so after years of trying, thinking of foster care, and fertility treatments.

And yet...there's this other side of me which feels...well, bitter. Depressed. Left out. On the outside looking in.

My friends and I have a lot in common, as you know. We've all had our share of adversity when it comes to men and children. I had another wedding to go to yesterday, and during the ceremony, I started to think, "I'd like for that to happen to me." And then later, during the reception, I thought, "Why hasn't it? So-and-so has a girlfriend, and so-and-so is now married, why am I still single?"

And then I was sitting next to this guy at the reception, and we really hit it off, and we had a good time. My friends couldn't understand why he didn't ask me for my phone number--and then the bride tells me that he, well, plays for the other team. I told her that I was kind of disappointed that we didn't exchange information, and after she told me, I felt awful. Awful that I felt like he was leading me on, and awful that I told her that I was sad--on her frakkin' wedding day!--what was going through my head! So now I've hurt my friend's feelings, and I won't be able to talk to her until after her honeymoon--if I do.

After the ceremony, people were talking about getting together with the bride, mostly couples. Well, I'm single. This really started to hurt. Badly.

Here's the thing: I have never complained about my lack of a romantic partner, but yesterday, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Now I realize I may be missing something. My philosophy is to never complain about something unless you can do something about it, but the thing is, I'm scared as hell to join an internet dating site or put myself out there to meet someone. And at this point I must confess something: I've never had a steady boyfriend. I'm afraid of dating right now because my lack of experience is going to count against me. That, and I'm afraid of getting my heart broken. Basically, I'm either the gay man's best friend, or guys aren't interested in me more than friendship. What is wrong with me?

And my friend with the baby: Yes, I know she has new priorities now, and can't spend as much time with me. She's spending time now with her mother friends. Again, I'm feeling left out, and I shouldn't be. It's a pretty damn cute baby, too, and I really would like to spend more time with her and the baby. But as my friend says, weekends are saved for family time.

And I am not a part of the family.

So why am I taking this to the blog, as opposed to face-to-face contact with my friends? Easy. I'm afraid of pushing my friends away. They're going to think I'm acting like a two-year-old. Which I am. So I am better off putting a smile on my face, faking everything's cool, and pushing my feelings way down into my gut and not saying a word.

Not like they'd care. My friends are a very tight-knit bunch. They all live within the immediate area--except for me. They're all in a choir--except for me. They all get together for dinner before choir rehearsal--except for me. Geography, I realize, pays a huge part in this. I have a mortgage; it's not like I can switch apartments. And I have a steady job; not like I can switch in a jiffy (especially in this economy).

I'm at the point where I plan not to return phone calls, to isolate myself from the world. And I know that's not healthy. I just can't believe I'm feeling this way, that I'm not stopping myself from doing so. Not like anyone would care; I've pretty much come to the conclusion that I'm always going to be on the outside looking in, career-wise or friend-wise.

I used think that I was okay being the single, crazy cat lady.

I'm not sure about that anymore.

Happy Canada Day to all of my brethren north of the border!!!

And to celebrate this glorious holiday, here's a little Conan love for you! This clip was taken from one of the shows he did in Toronto years ago, not sure which year:

Limbo Contest! from Darci Frederickson on Vimeo.

Book Review: This Time Together, by Carol Burnett

I have been a huge Carol Burnett fan since I was seven or eight years old. I'd watch the old episodes of Carol Burnett and Friends at my grandparents' house, and later in life when cable finally came to my hometown. In college I was known to tape episodes of Carol Burnett and Friends on the Family Channel. It drove my roommate crazy. She didn't get it, but BFF, whom I met in college, did. We'd go to each others' dorm rooms and watch Carol Burnett together. That's one of the things that has bonded our friendship.

I have her first book, One More Time, which is a detailed memoir of her childhood, growing up with alcoholic parents, a hypochondriac grandmother, and living in poverty in a one-room apartment one block north of Hollywood Boulevard. You can find my review of it here, and you can read other posts I've written about Carol here.

I had pre-ordered this book last October, almost as soon as I heard that it was going to be published. When it finally arrived in my mailbox this past April, I put aside the book that I was reading at the time and dove right in. I finished in about two hours.

As Carol writes in the foreword, this book originally started out as a collection of show business anecdotes that she had wanted to write for her grandchildren. Many of these recollections came from questions that audience members would ask at her touring Q&A show (you can read about my experience here).

Lots of the anecdotes are humorous. For example, she writes about the time she first met Jimmy Stewart, her idol, and was so flustered when she talked to him that when she left the studio, she stepped in a bucket of whitewash and walked out with said bucket still on her foot. There are several stories about the cast of The Carol Burnett Show, particularly about Tim Conway and Harvey Korman. There is one story involving Tim Conway and a stuffed sheep that had me laughing out loud--something that doesn't happen often when I read.

Some of the tales remind us that even celebrities are human, and get starstruck. Carol describes living in the same New York apartment building as John Steinbeck, and how they first met in an elevator going to their respective floors. There is a very funny story about renting her beach house to Sir Laurence Olivier. And there are two particularly funny stories involving meeting Cary Grant for the first time, as well as an Iranian princess who had the same physician as Carol.

At times, some of the stories that Carol told were touching and heartbreaking. There are a couple of sections in the book about her late daughter, Carrie Hamilton, and the play that they wrote together, Hollywood Arms. Carol writes in a style that makes you feel as if she's sitting next to you, having a conversation with you, and you can really feel the mother's grief as you read through these chapters. Carol also writes about the time when she met a very young cancer patient, and how this patient came to the set of The Carol Burnett Show to meet her. Again, the sense of grief and sadness that you get when reading these sections is incredibly palpable.

This book is not a tell-all book in any sense. In spite of some sadness, Carol generally keeps the tone light and conversational. Not only does she recall some moments of her career, but she recalls some humorous life moments, too, such as the time she had to take her dog to the vet in the middle of a New York City blizzard. There are a few stories about her daughters when they were growing up. And there are some tales about living a normal life as a celebrity. Not only do you get a sense of Carol Burnett as a performer, but you get a sense of Carol Burnett as a person. Both personae make her that much more connected to the reader.

I am going to make an unusual recommendation here: By all means, read the book. But I also want to tell you to get the audio book, especially if you're a fan. Carol herself reads the book, and the conversational aspect of the text takes on a whole new different meaning. Yes, she is there in the same room with you, because she's reading her own stories, but she's reading it as if you're the only person who's listening to the text, as if she's giving a performance just for you. She sings, she does different character voices, and at times, becomes emotional. I don't know how I stumbled upon it while I was in iTunes, but I'm a big enough fan that I purchased it, even though I had a hard copy. And I don't regret it at all.

While I finished This Time Together in one sitting, I found myself going back at random occasions and re-reading some of the anecdotes. You may find yourself doing the same thing. Because while you appreciate the time you had together with Carol, there are times when you just want to have a little more.

Book Review: The Geography of Bliss, by Eric Weiner

How many of you have ever thought about happiness? I mean, what does it mean to be happy? How does one remain in a state of contentment and never let anything bad happen to them? Or, rather, how does one deal with both the good and the bad in their lives?

Eric Weiner wondered just that. As a foreign correspondent for NPR, he had been to places such as Afghanistan, Indonesia, and Iraq--places not exactly known for happy people. Unhappy people and places, Weiner reasoned, make for good stories, because they inspire people, and they are more newsworthy.

After reporting so much, though, on the doom and gloom of the world, he thought about taking one year off to study the happy places of the world:

Places that possess, in spades, one or more of the ingredients that we consider essential to the hearty stew of happiness: money, pleasure, spirituality, family, and chocolate, among others. Around the world, dozens of what-ifs play themselves out every day. What if you lived in a country that was fabulously wealthy and no one paid taxes? What if you lived in a country where failure is an option? What if you lived in a country so democratic that you voted seven times a year? What if you lived in a country where excessive thinking is discouraged? Would you be happy then? (introduction, page 2)

Weiner starts his journey in the Netherlands, where he visits the World Database of Happiness, an institution which attempts to collect data and statistics on this state of being. In other words, happiness is something that can be measured. Along the way, he attempts to find his own brand of Dutch happiness by ordering from the many offerings at one of Rotterdam's famed hashish bars. Did he find happiness in that bit of Moroccan hash he smoked? Well, just for a little while.

That is just one of many little experiments that Weiner conducts during his year-long voyage around the world. He visits ten countries in all, including a study on American happiness, written after he returned to the Mother Land. I won't include details on everything that he learned (since I'd really like you to read the book), but there are some interesting little revelations throughout the work. In his visit to Switzerland, Weiner figures out exactly why Swiss watches are known for their punctuality--Switzerland itself is obsessed with being on time, right down to the second the trains and planes leave the stations and airports. In Bhutan, the king has implemented something called the Gross National Happiness, a national priority/mandate. (NPR actually covered this recently on Morning Edition; you can read more about this report here.)

In Iceland, happiness can be found in one's failures--in fact, failure is encouraged in Icelandic culture. This is a lesson that I believe Americans need to learn desperately. In our culture, failure is seen as something terrible, and many spend their lives trying to avoid it. In Iceland, one is a failure for not experiencing failure. This chapter, for this very important lesson alone, is one of the most valuable in the book.

Another chapter I found really intriguing was the one about Qatar, a nation that is full of money and riches--but no national culture. It's interesting to read the reasonings behind how a nation can be content with all of its riches, but still lacks such a self-awareness about something to call its own. This is something that Qatari expatriates pick up on very quickly, but something that the natives are, almost blissfully, unaware of.

The chapter on India is also especially interesting. This is a nation where poverty and misery are profound, yet this is a nation where many foreigners travel to find contentment in one of its many ashrams. Weiner does indeed visit an ashram, but it is not where he obtains perspective on the Indian philosophy behind happiness.

I picked up this book on a whim one day, at Borders, during one of their "buy one, get one 50% off" sales. It, like many of my purchases, made its way to my bookshelf for about a year. I finally retrieved it from "Bookshelf Hell" when I decided to embark on my own little Happiness Project. This was the first book I decided to read, and I am--pardon the expression--happy that I did. The Geography of Bliss really gave me a lot of perspective on my own definition of happiness and contentment. Not only that, it helped me get perspective on balancing happiness with sadness. Down times are inevitable in anyone's life, and to see how different cultures deal with life's ups and downs help me deal with mine.

More importantly, it helped me examine the overall American attitude towards contentment. There is a general American perception that one needs to be happy and content all the time. Sadness, failure, and depression are too often seen as weaknesses. If this book does anything for our national culture, I hope it's teaching the lesson that sadness, failure, and depression are not weaknesses, but character builders. I'm going to stop short of saying that The Geography of Bliss should be required reading in psychology courses, but it should be something for people who are going through their own Happiness Projects should read. If anything, it provides so much perspective.

Stay tuned over the next few months, kittens, as I read more books I've chosen for my Happiness Project, along with an explanation--coming soon--as to why I've decided to launch this.

Book Review: A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again, by David Foster Wallace

I brought this book with me on my cruise in February. I had been wanting to read David Foster Wallace's works for a very long time, and thought I'd start off small, before perusing his pièce de résistence, Infinite Jest (which tops off at over 900 pages).

I didn't realize until after I started reading the book how academic it is in nature. Wallace, after all, was a journalist who wrote for such diverse magazines as The New Yorker, Esquire, The Paris Review, Harper's, and Playboy. The book was composed of seven essays that were once published in magazines such as these. Some of the essays are very interesting. And some, if you don't have the background knowledge in order to appreciate what Wallace is writing about, can be difficult to read. I had to go back and re-read several paragraphs at a time in cases like these in order to fully absorb what I had read.

For example, the first essay, "Derivative Sport in Tornado Alley," was a memoir of Wallace's days as a competitive junior tennis player. Apparently he was once one of the best high school tennis players in Illinois. When he got to college, however, he realized that he could burn out very quickly, and gave up the sport. As a kid who was never an athlete, and never competed fiercely in any high school competition, I couldn't relate personally to some of his experiences. I liked the metacognition, or schema, that was needed in order to fully appreciate this essay. (My high school English teachers would be so proud of me for writing that last sentence!)

However, that first essay prepared me for the second to last tome of the book, an essay about a rising tennis star named Michael Joyce. At first I wondered who Michael Joyce was, since I had never heard of a tennis player with that name. And then I looked at the publication date of the essay: 1996. I decided to do a Google search to answer the "where are they now" question; however, I'll let you do a Google search, if you wish, once you finish reading this post. I don't want to include any spoilers.

The essays, while cerebral, are quite enjoyable, but not something you can read in one fell swoop. This is one of those works where you have to read a few paragraphs at a time, allow some time to absorb the information, and then continue. My friend Chantal, who went on vacation with me, would look over at me and pronounce that my book "wasn't beach-reading material." She is right; this is not something you can take with you to the beach on a lazy, hazy afternoon and breeze right through.

However, I read portions of the last essay to her, and she had to laugh at it as much as I did.

Why?

It was about the then-fledgling cruise industry.

That was a fitting conclusion to the book, given the environment. Next time I go on a cruise, though, I'm leaving the David Foster Wallace at home. This is good middle of the day reading, when your brain is functioning at its peak, but not just before bed reading when you're in the mood to relax. That having been said, I'm going to give him another chance; I just haven't decided which book it's going to be, yet.

I know it won't be Infinite Jest, though. Not yet.

The Queen's Meme: The Beach Meme

Ahhh...a meme we can ALL relate to!!!

1. When is the last time you saw the ocean?
When I was in Newport, Rhode Island this past Memorial Day weekend.

2. Where is your favorite stretch of beach shoreline?
Long Beach Island, New Jersey. For years it was the Jersey Shore's best-kept secret. But lots of people discovered it, and now it's become a mega tourist-trap for the nouveau riche. It's not the same LBI from my childhood.

3. Are you planning a beach vacation this year?
Just day trips to Connecticut beaches. I'm not going away for a week. Long Island Sound is definitely NOT the ocean, though. But at least I live in a state with a coastline.

4. Bikinis or one-piece?
If you've got the body for a bikini, go for it. However, I don't have a bikini body, so I'm gonna go with one-piece in this instance.

5. Do you sunbathe or sit under an umbrella?
Sunbathe with the highest SPF I can find. I feel sheltered if I sit under an umbrella.

6. Have you ever been to a nude beach?
I've walked through one, but never spent a lot of time there. A friend of mine wanted to walk through the nude sections of the Robert Moses beach on Long Island, so I obliged. We were in our late teens when we went, and we just kept talking about nothing so we wouldn't stare.

7. Favorite activity at the beach while on vacation?
Body surfing is the best! The bigger the wave, the better!

8. Condo, hotel or cottage rental?
A cottage rental is the ONLY way to go.

9. What beach in the whole wide world would you like to visit for the first time?
Any California beach.

10. Did you ever have a special romantic time at the beach?
Who hasn't?

11. Tell us about a favorite beach memory.
As kids we went to Long Beach Island for two weeks every summer. We'd literally be at the beach from 10 AM till 5 PM. We'd walk back to the rental for lunch, then go back to the beach ASAP. Then the ice cream man would stop by the beach and we'd pick up a treat. We were in the water almost the entire day. I miss those days something awful.

Book Review: Happens Every Day, by Isabel Gillies

Could it be...that the Bookkitten has actually written a book review for the first time in months? Yes, it is true--and I am soooo happy to be finally writing a review!

We're getting back into the book reading groove with this selection--which I read while I was on vacation in February:

I had originally picked up this book back in April 2009, during a random trip to Starbucks. This was one of the coffee chain's monthly book selections, which they put right next to the register. The cover itself looked appealing enough for me to pick up a copy. As I waited for my latte, I skimmed the summary on the left flap of the dust jacket:

Isabel Gillies had a wonderful life--a handsome, intelligent, loving husband; two glorious toddlers; a beautiful house; the time and place to express all her ebullience and affection and optimism. Suddenly, that life was over. Her husband, Josiah, announced that he was leaving her and their two young sons.

When Josiah took a teaching job at a Midwestern college, Isab el and their sons moved with him from New York City to Ohio, where Isabel taught acting, threw herself into the college community, and delighted in the less-scheduled lives of toddlers raised away from the city. But within a few months, the marriage was over. The life Isabel had made crumbled. "Happens every day," said a friend.

There are many, many stories out there about this exact plot. Woman thinks she has the ideal marriage to a smart, handsome man, and has the house with the white picket fence, the dog, the mini van, and the 2.5 children. And then, suddenly, it all goes wrong. It's a story we've all heard before. However, I was intrigued because this was a true story. Additionally, Ms. Gillies is an actress (she played Detective Stabler's wife on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit), and I wondered how much of her dramatic training would lend itself to the storytelling.

It takes awhile for the memoir to build up to the climax. She writes, in vivid detail, about meeting Josiah one summer in Maine, where their families vacationed. She was instantly attracted to the scholar, who eventually earned a Ph.D. in poetry. Josiah's ultimate goal was to obtain a full-time professorship, teaching poetry.

That opportunity arrived when Josiah accepted a position at Oberlin College in Ohio. Isabel threw herself into her new life, and eventually became an adjunct drama professor. They purchased an old house near campus, and everything seemed wonderful.

But soon, Isabel suspected that her husband was cheating. There were the late nights in the office, and the deepening friendship with a female Oberlin colleague. The fights between Isabel and Josiah increased. Isabel wanted to save the marriage, but Josiah kept telling her it was beyond repair. She had very mixed emotions: On one hand, she knew she had to leave, but on the other hand, didn't want to give up the life she had.

Happens Every Day is a no-holds-barred look at a deteriorating relationship. Isabel Gillies is raw, honest, and unapologetic towards her now ex-husband. The further I read this book, the more I thought of Josiah as an ungrateful, self-centered man who really didn't care that he was abandoning two children. I was especially affected by the descriptions of "keeping up appearances": giving friends and family the perception that everything was normal, and there was a happy family life, without providing any detail of the tension that lied within.

So how was this book different from other tales of marriages ending? Well, unlike the movies, Happens Every Day does wrap up its plot in a great big bow, with all of the plotlines neatly tied up. It's like having a conversation with someone who is going through a similar breakup, and just needs to vent, in order to get all of the emotions out. It's like being witness to a therapy session, and you're the therapist, listening to it all.

This is one of those books that begins where you read it in one fell swoop, but then, you have to put it down for awhile before you pick it up again. That is not because of lagging storytelling; rather, you have to sit back and process all of the emotions that Ms. Gillies has laid out on the page. It's as if you have to get over being angry at certain parties (namely Josiah) before you can continue.

There are no wasted emotions in this story; Ms. Gillies makes no attempt to try and cover up any biases towards her husband and his mistress. She is very honest, which is what makes this book such intriguing reading.

While this book is painful to read at times, Happens Every Day is hardly a woe-is-me type of tale. Not once did I feel any pity toward Ms. Gillies, but rather, admiration for her strength and determination. She does not, at any point, make herself out to be a victim, which is probably the biggest strength of the book.

And that's the main thing that makes Happens Every Day different than the typical "perfect marriage suddenly ends" story: The woman doesn't have any self pity, and doesn't make anyone else feel sorry for her.

And I thought the A and Piss Off was bad...

Atlanta bloggers, if you can vouch for what I'm about to write, please do so.

As many of you know, I am not a fan of my local grocery store, the A and Piss Off. I used to think it was the worst grocery store in existence...that is, until this afternoon, when I came across an article about a place called the "Murder Kroger" in Atlanta.

I won't describe the details, because you can read about it here and here. Proceed with caution.

Sunday Stealing: The Dark Side Meme

1. You’re building your dream house. What’s the one thing that this house absolutely, positively MUST HAVE? (other than the obvious basics of course)
Very tall, book to ceiling bookcases

2. What is your dream car?
A four-door sedan that runs purely on electricity...or better yet, water

3. What is your favorite website that isn’t a blog?
I loves me some Facebook

4. iPhone 4 or Droid, which do you want?
Neither...I love my Pantech...I'd rawther have an iPod touch, though...all the apps of the iPhone, sans bills

5. When you’re feeling down or lonely or just generally out of sorts, what do you do to cheer yourself up?
I read, nap, watch Conan clips on YouTube or my Carol Burnett and Glee DVDs

6. Tell me about something or someone that you love that most people seem to hate.
Spinach...I love raw spinach...or spinach sauteed in olive oil and bulbs of garlic

7. What do you want to be when you grow up?
A travel writer

8. Would you go on a reality show if given the chance?
NO. FRAKKIN'. WAY.

9. Who was your favorite teacher when you were growing up. (Grade school, Middle School, Jr. High or High School only.)
Mrs. Werner, 2nd grade

10. You get one pass to do something illegal or immoral. What are you gonna do?
Beats me!
11. What were you doing 10 years ago?
I was finishing my first year of grad school

12. By this time next year, I ...
..will be one year older.

13. Do you think the United States will elect a female President in your lifetime? Do you think this would be a good thing?
Yes and yes.

14. Which fictional, TV show character you would shag anytime?
I have no idea. I have some real life actors I'd like to shag, but no fictional characters.

15. What is your greatest pet peeve?
People who are late to EVERYTHING.

16. Tell me about your most recent trip of more than 100 miles?
Over Memorial Day weekend I went on a three-day road trip to Newport, Boston, and then Fall River for a friend's wedding. 398.8 miles round trip.

17. Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus?
Spell check baby!

18. Do you have a nickname? What is it?
I don't really have a nickname.

19. What are you dreading at the moment?
It's been stressful at work lately.

20. Do you worry that others will judge you from reading some of your answers?
Nope.

21. In two words, explain what ended your last relationship.
Too young.

22. What were you doing this morning at 8am?
Sleeping

23. Do you have any famous relatives?
Nope

24. How many different beverages have you drank today?
Three...water, coffee, tea

25. What is something you are excited about?
I have a friend getting married July 4th...it's going to be a mini-college reunion

26. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group?
This morning at church

27. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I'm extra curly today!

28. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Baking cupcakes for coffee hour today

29. What’s a word that you say a lot?
Ayudeme (Spanish for "Help Me")

30. Who is your worst enemy?
me, myself & I

Bookkitten Basics: More about your Hostess with the Mostest

I figured it was time to update the ol' "Bookkitten Basics" post. There's one in the right sidebar of this blog, and it contains features that were present a year ago, but not so much today. My little corner of the blogosphere has evolved, and I must update according to the changing times. I also need to update my blogroll, but one step at a time, kittens, one step at a time!

Welcome, dear kittens, to my humble little corner of the blogosphere! I am the Bookkitten, but you may call me "Kitten" for short. I address all of my readers as kittens, even if they are bipeds, puppies, hamsters, snakes, etc., etc. I love all kinds. I do not cater to one specific species.

So why am I "The Bookkitten?" Easy! I originally created this blog back in 2007 to post my book reviews. You'll still find those here, but this space evolved as a personal journal for me. I write about things that have happened in my life, such as my travels, my concerts, and other experiences. Sometimes I get philosophical. Sometimes I'm funny. Sometimes I'm serious. But I try to write as close as I can to my own personality, without revealing my identity.

Speaking of identity, there are a few of you regular readers who know who I am in real life. However, I prefer to blog, for various reasons, anonymously. Let's just say I have a very public job, and while I say nothing controversial here that could make me risk losing it, I would prefer that no one bombard me at work the next day about something I said on my space. I need to keep my work and personal life separate.

I do blog about several people in my life, but I use pseudonyms to keep their identities private. My family members make frequent appearances; they are known as Mama Cat, Papa Cat, and Sister Kitten. Some friends of mine make appearances, too; two of the regulars here are known as my best friend (BFF) and Chantal, who loves to sing. (Chantal comes from the French verb chanter, which means "to sing.")

I participate in a lot of memes, but I don't do it every week, only when I really, really like the questions. I also like to post a lot of YouTube clips when they catch my fancy.

What else do you need to know about me? Well, I love Glee and will admit I am obsessed with it. I have all of the songs downloaded to my iPod, and have the DVDs. Carol Burnett was my very first comedy hero, and I like to write about her a lot. And I am a major Conan fangirl. I try not to blog about either Glee or Conan or Carol too much, but these shows do get a lot of mentions here. (Glee, in particular, gets a mention whenever I post my latest iPod playlists).

So basically, in addition to books, you'll find music, television, pop culture, and philosophy here in this space. But why exactly am I known as "The Bookkitten." I love books, and I love cats. Simple. I have two cats, who used to get a lot of mentions in the blog during the early days, but I haven't blogged about them much at all lately. Call it evolution; I may return to writing posts about them one day, but I'm not sure when.

Not to mention, I don't post nearly as often as I used to. I have a very busy life. I used to post almost every day, sometimes three times in one day! These days, I'm lucky if I get to post once a week. But life, as you all know, has its ebbs and flows, and I pretty much post whenever and wherever the mood strikes.

So that's me in a nutshell! Thanks for stopping by my little space in the blogosphere! Please come back again!