The Queen's Meme: The Crazy Hospital Meme

I honestly don't have time to write a meme, much less a post tonight, but fear of the dungeon has convinced me that this is a wise move.

1. What is the strangest thing that has ever happened to you in a hospital (besides your illness)? Not enough towels? No condiments? Can't get your favorite channels? Come on, you can tell me.
I was last admitted to the hospital at the end of January, 2005. I had the flu. No sooner did they get me into a room that I turned on the tv and started channel surfing. All, and I do mean, ALL, of the shows that I found had something to do with surgeries going wrong, things removed from/left in/found in the human body, trauma in the ER...you get the idea. And it was like that for the three days I spent there.

2. If you had your choice of IV cocktails, what would you choose?
Wine. Any wine will do, but I'd love to have a rotation of champagne/prosecco, a nice cabernet, and a wonderful pinot grigio.

3. Tell us your funniest hospital story.

Flash back to my last hospital stay for a minute. Since I had the flu, I was put in a room by myself, and had no human contact, save for the nurses and the occasional doctor. Anyone who entered my room had to wear a mask and gloves. I felt like I lived in a bubble. I ended up taking a mask and the sign outside my room home as a souvenir. Ahhh...quarantine.

(Yeah, I know it's really not that funny, but I've only been in the hospital three times: at birth, as an infant with pneumonia, and as an adult with the flu. I don't have that many hospital stories).

4. Do you have any hospital phobias?

I've never feared hospitals. I live halfway between two of them, and I constantly hear ambulances go by the house. I'm used to it by now.

5. Imagine you are in bed trying to get some sleep after a long night of interruptions by the nurse on duty who would NOT stop waking you up to see if you were asleep...It is 3am. You finally get to sleep. She comes in at 3:15 and wakes you up again. What happens next?

I tell her to leave me alone for the next two hours. And if that wasn't reasonable, I'd call in her supervisor to ask if these constant interruptions were REALLY necessary.

6. You are stuck in the elevator with an attractive person of the opposite sex. You notice there is no wedding band. Do you strike up a conversation? If so, what is the first thing you would say?

No. Too chicken. Bawk, bawk!

7. A very odd patient wanders into your room from the upstairs psychiatric ward. What do you do?
Call security, the head nurse...whatever I can do to get the guy out of the room.