Why I heart Brian Williams

Every weeknight at 6:30, I have a standing date with this man:

Ahhh, Brian Williams. How I do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

1. You haven't forgotten where you came from. I admire your modesty, Mr. Williams. In nearly every interview you've done with the talk shows, you always say, "I'm just a guy from Jersey." Let me add, working-class Jersey. Jersey, home of Papa Cat's side of the fam. The Jersey that Bruce Springsteen, our hometown hero, represents oh-so-well in all of his songs. Jersey, home of the greatest beaches in the world. You're one of my peeps!

2. You were a volunteer fireman. You understand the brotherhood that firemen share. You served your community, something I really admire in a guy.

3. You take your job very seriously. When you deliver the news, you don't sugarcoat things. You're a cut-to-the-chase type of guy. I really liked when you said on Ellen that you deliver the news as if you're talking to your family and all the ones you love. Boy, did that make me swoon! Anyhoo, I like how you deliver the news objectively and honestly, with no bias whatsoever.

That having been said, I remember this clip from the July 7, 2008 edition of the NBC Nightly News:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

I mean, how could I not laugh when you broke out of serious anchorman mode to present this bit? It was as if you wanted to say, "I can't believe I'm reporting this." But I loved the way you did it, straightforward with a touch of sarcasm thrown in. Mama Cat and I were on the floor laughing when you delivered this report. (For the record, Mama Cat was also very sad to learn this, as she loves her Pringles).

4. You don't take yourself too seriously. Witness your Saturday Night Live hosting gig, something you did so brilliantly well. Witness all of those interviews you do with Leno, Letterman, Conan, Ellen, The Daily Show, and most recently, Bonnie Hunt. You have such a wonderfully dry sense of humor.

5. You're not afraid to let a little of Brian Williams, the human being, slip into your broadcasts. There are stories that you report on, and when they move you, sometimes you'll let something slip in like, "As a father of two, I..." It's clear that you care so much about your family.

6. You've been married to the same woman for 23 years. I think that's sexy. This coming from a woman whose idea of commitment is five minutes over a cup of Dunkin' Donuts coffee. There aren't that many people involved in the news or entertainment businesses who have had long, steady marriages. Yours is very admirable. Not to mention, you have a very attractive, funny wife. You have good taste. :)

7. You look like you're a great hugger. I can't believe I just typed that! Now I'm starting to sound all high school! Witness this clip from your appearance on The Bonnie Hunt Show:

I mean, look at the hug you gave Bonnie Hunt! Polite, yet firm, and you hugged as if you meant it. Some Hollywood types don't really hug the host, but you did. That was an embrace right there. (By the way, it's not the kiss that does it for me when I meet the guy; it's the hug).

8. You are wicked smart. Who else listens to hours and hours of the LBJ tapes just for the fun of it? You're a geek after my own heart! I love geeks!

9. You were on Sesame Street! I mean, that's just the epitome of cool in my generation! And you were awesome! I can't picture either Walter Cronkite or Dan Rather doing what you did!)

(OK, Kitten, breathe, calm down, wipe up the drool, remind yourself that you're an almost-33-year-old woman with a huge crush on a TV journalist and not an almost-13-year-old girl with a huge crush on her math teacher. Now's the time to redeem yourself, girl. What can you come up with for reason #10?)

10. Your baby blues look ever so much bluer and cuter in HD.

...a period of silence follows as Kitten realizes she's failed to redeem herself...cue the crickets...

I need to go now. I need to take a cold shower and watch some old Huntley/Brinkley footage. That'll bring me back down to earth...

...at least until 6:30 Monday night...

Italy vs. the rest of Europe

Just found this funny video link at Acts of Hope. It's a flash movie that deals with the differences between Italians and Europeans. Yes, there is a difference--or at least the video producers think so.

C'mon, click here! You need a good laugh to end your day.

Dedicated to those who have succumbed to the evils of cold and flu season...

I am one of those who has succumbed to the evils of cold and flu season.

Thankfully, it's just been nasal congestion and post-nasal drip...mild compared to what I could really get.

I came across this old Opus comic strip tonight and thought I would share it with you. It really speaks to our national dependency on medicine, prescription and otherwise.

Ahh, Opus...you always had a way of commenting on our national travails. I miss you so.

***Special thanks to Salon.com for the archived comic.***

***UPDATE: Here's the link to the Salon.com archives. You can't really see it too well on the blog. I'm still trying to figure out the "click to enlarge" thing.***

TV Review: "A Colbert Christmas"

I very rarely schedule "appointment television" for myself. I'm either reading, doing schoolwork, or at the computer. Last night, however, was an exception. I was writing an E-mail around 8:30 when I suddenly realized, "A Colbert Christmas is on tonight!"

I had to stop what I was doing, since I couldn't remember if it was on at 9 or 10.

It turned out to be the latter.

I went up to the bedroom, snuggled under the covers, and turned on Comedy Central. I caught the last ten minutes of the Jeff Dunham Christmas special. I was bummed that I missed most of it; I saw him in person when I was a sophomore in college. He came to the Quick Center for the Arts to do the Harvest Weekend show, and he was an absolute riot.

Anyhoo, back to Colbert. At the beginning of the special, you can clearly see that Stephen Colbert is lampooning, as only he could, the classic Perry Como/Andy Williams Christmas specials of yesteryear. (For those of you in my generation, those are the specials they run in PBS retrospectives each season). So our friend Stephen is prepping to leave his mountaintop cabin to go down to New York to film his Christmas special when--gasp!--there's a bear outside! Loyal fans of The Colbert Report know of Stephen's hatred and fear of bears. (Are they On Notice or Dead to Me right now? I, sadly, have not been able to watch The Colbert Report regularly for a while).

So what is Stephen to do? Elvis Costello is the special guest star, and they're already filming the dancing reindeer! (Which are actually goats with antlers!)

Fortunately, Stephen has beaucoup visitors to his mountainside cabin. First to arrive is "country music superstar Toby Keith!" (Cue the applause track! This special makes affective use of both fake applause and the laugh track.) Toby's hunting in the woods when he decides to pay Stephen a visit. They talk about how more people say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" these days, and Toby decides to put his lament to song. It's a very musical tribute to the "War on Christmas."

Willie Nelson makes an appearance too. I won't give too many details of what he does, but I will say this: Willie claims he's so high, Stephen's hallucinating.

Jon Stewart stops by to ask Stephen, "Can I interest you in Hanukkah?" Forest ranger John Legend arrives next, and sings what has got to be the sexiest song ever written about...nutmeg. Nutmeg, you say? Trust me on this. It'll be on iTunes tomorrow if you wanna make the investment.

This was a great hour of appointment television for me. Some of the musical numbers, all original (except for one), dragged on a little long, but the lyrics were very clever. (Especially "Another Christmas Song.") It's a great combination of cheeky retro humor affectively blended with present satirical wit. (Witness the two stockings hanging over the fireplace. One says "Stephen", the other says "Colbert.")

Finally, A Colbert Christmas has a very clever ending. I won't spoil the surprise. Do Stephen a favor and buy it for yourself!

DVD Review: The Carol Burnett Show, Vol. 6

Today was a good day to fold laundry and watch The Carol Burnett Show.

OK, maybe it was a good day to watch The Carol Burnett Show. Folding laundry's easier when you have a distraction.

Volume 6 opens with interesting commentary from Carol herself. The big revelation here is that she admits to disliking her Charwoman character. What?!?! Dislike the character who became her signature, her logo? She said that she didn't like doing the Charwoman because "all she did was dust a little, then sit on a bucket and sing the blues." Well, obviously Joe Hamilton, her husband and executive producer, saw a lot more in that character, and the audience must have, too, for the Charwoman has become a classic.

Revelations aside, this is another quality show from Carol and her crew. We kick things off with a Tudball and Wiggins sketch about fire safety. The insurance man (Harvey) pays a visit to determine whether the right fire safety protocols are in place; if they're not, then Tudball's rates will go up. Of course, teaching Mrs. Wiggins about fire safety is a job in itself. Watch for Harvey trying to get Tim to crack up; it was a noble attempt to get Tim to finally lose his cool.

We follow with a superb tap dance number featuring Ken Berry, a Carol Burnett Show semi-regular (so far he's guested on three of the DVDs I've received so far), and the Ernest Flatt dancers, tapping to the beat of the Gershwin classic "I've Got Rhythm." I still don't understand why this man never got a chance to headline a Broadway show. He did go on tour in the shows George M! and The Music Man, though, so people across America were able to see his many talents.

A Harvey-Tim sketch comes next, with the dynamic duo "Lost in the Sahara." They play two soldiers--two very thirsty, dehydrated soldiers, who encounter an oasis. Tim insists the bar, presided over by Vicki Lawrence, is not an apparition. Is it, or isn't it? Harvey insists that it's a desert mirage...but how else do you explain how Tim suddenly gets drenched with two Tom Collinses?

We finish with a two-part finale: a takeoff on the Mickey-Judy movies called "Babes in Barns." Ken Berry stars as "Spunky," and Carol stars as "Dodie." She sings in the style of Judy Garland, complete with deep, shaky alto bravado. This is one of her best impressions. This finale also features one of the Ernest Flatt Dancers, Toni Kaye, who looks a lot like Chita Rivera. I did an internet search on her as I prepared this post. Not only did she dance on The Carol Burnett Show, she danced in the movie Funny Lady and helped choreograph Pennies From Heaven. She also helped choreograph Sugar Babies and starred in one of its national tours. Sadly, she died of cancer in 1995.

Anyhoo, Ms. Kaye stars as Dee Dee, whose sole talent is that "she can do the splits!" She gets cast in a show created for Spunky's parents can pay off their mortgage. She gets cast not just because she can do the splits, but because her wealthy father has lots of money, enough to back the show. A love triangle forms among Spunky, Dodie, and Dee Dee. In the true tradition of MGM musicals, can you guess which gal prevails and wins the heart of Spunky in the end? This is a very cute parody with some great music and dancing, one of the best finales I've seen so far.

The second episode in this volume features a very young Bernadette Peters as its guest star. I'm guessing that Bernadette is in her mid-twenties here. She co-stars with Carol in an installment of "As the Stomach Turns," The Carol Burnett Show's parody of daytime soaps. This sketch is actually a parody of a parody; in it, Bernadette stars as Carol's niece, Raven, who becomes demonically possessed. Yep, you've got it: it's a parody of The Exorcist, which was the movie at the time this episode was written and filmed. Tim Conway, who was not a regular at the time, guests as a exterminator-turned-exorcist. This sketch takes place in his pre-Tudball days; he uses the Tudball accent in his portrayal of the exterminator-turned-exorcist. It's an especially funny sketch because of its very subtle cultural references scattered throughout. For example, Raven, who is from Washington, D.C., brings her aunt souvenirs from her home city--among them, two reel-to-reel tapes, which her aunt "places with her comedy albums." (For those who didn't get the pop-culture reference, this show originally aired on February 16, 1974, near the height of the Watergate scandal. And for those of you who are too young to remember Watergate or have not studied it in school, find out more about it here.)

Bernadette then sings a touching rendition of "Blame it On My Youth," which is appropriate, given that, like I said earlier, she's in her mid-twenties here. In this performance, she shows the first signs of her sultriness and vulnerability, two qualities which helped make her one of our top theatre divas. (And she, like Patti LuPone, is a fellow Italian-American gal, and we Italian-American gals gotta stick together!)

The next sketch features Carol and Vicki as two old high school friends catching up on their years apart. Carol portrays a deliciously evil, spiteful woman who is jealous of her friend's life. It's a lot of fun to watch.

The sketch that follows is a very weak parody of war films. Even though this particular episode won an Emmy for writing, this sketch was not of the quality we have come to expect from The Carol Burnett Show. Harvey and Tim play Japanese submarine sailors who plan to sink Cleveland. They try--"try" being the operative word here--to speak Japanese. I just plain didn't like this one.

A brief sketch comes before the finale, one featuring Harvey as an Italian barber, whose client is targeted by a clumsy hitman, Tim. I'll go no further; this wasn't particularly memorable.

This episode redeems itself in the finale, a salute to the music of Harry Warren. Carol plays a wallflower pianist who is asked by her crush, Harvey, to play at his frat party, where he plans to pin his crush, Bernadette. There is an incredible tap dancing segment here with Bernadette and the Ernest Flatt Dancers, the highlight of this sketch.

Carol always said she never felt comfortable playing the beauty, that she felt more at home playing either average-looking or homely characters. What is great about these characters, however, is that they always get their man in the end. Ahhh, what a world! Men looking for brains over beauty! I love it!

Volume 7 also arrived in the mail with this one. I should watch it tonight, given the amount of laundry I have to fold.

DVD Review: The Carol Burnett Show, Vol. 5

As promised, Kittens, here is my rundown of the latest volume of Guthy-Renker Carol Burnett Show DVDs.

The first episode of the DVD was also the first episode of the 10th season. How do I know it's the first episode, other than Carol mentioning it at the top of the show? Jim Nabors is the guest star. Loyal Carol Burnett fans know that she had Jim Nabors as her guest on every season premiere of her show. She considered him her good luck charm. They kick off the show with a duet of "The Rain in Spain" from My Fair Lady. Now imagine Carol as Henry Higgins and Gomer Pyle as Eliza Doolittle, and you get an idea of how this whole thing goes.

The first sketch following the opening credits stars all five regulars, plus Jim Nabors, in a parody of the Norman Lear soap opera satire, Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman. Harvey, as Norman Blear, introduces the audience to his newest work: a soap opera for children, entitled Mary, Mary Quite Contrary, Mary, Mary Quite Contrary. This seriously is one of the best sketches that was ever performed on The Carol Burnett Show. The writing, satire, and parodies in this sketch are simply brilliant--especially Carol's performance in the Louise Lasser role.

Now for many people, Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman is one of Norman Lear's most obscure--if not, his most obscure--work. I had to find some YouTube clips to fully understand the whole parody, but once you view them, it's easy to see the satire. For some samples, click here, here, and here. And here's a whole article on this show, courtesy of Wikipedia.

After the Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman parody, Jim sings "Let Me Be There," accompanied by the Ernest Flatt Dancers. Mind you, when he sings, there's hardly any trace of that Gomer Pyle accent. His singing voice is really quite lovely. I had to rewind the DVD several times to listen to it; I couldn't get over how much I liked it.

Tim has a starring role in the next sketch, about a traveling businessman who hasn't slept in two nights. He decides to spend the night in a cheap, crappy motel. As he starts to fall asleep, a fly starts buzzing about the room, annoying the heck out of our friend.

Tim Conway. A fly in the room. Use your imagination.

Eunice, Mama, and Ed join the proceedings with a sketch involving a friendly little game of Monopoly. Eunice is about to triumph in the game when, as all family sketches go, things go terribly, horribly wrong for her.

A Family sketch. A game of Monopoly. Carol Burnett as Eunice. Again, use your imagination.

We wrap up the show with a mini-musical called "Shipwrecked in Tahiti," featuring the music of Nacio Herb Brown (I never heard of him till I got this DVD). It's cute, but not among Carol's best, IMHO.

The second episode of this DVD guest stars Carl Reiner and Ken Berry, two of The Carol Burnett Show's most popular semi-regulars. Ken stars in the first number, a cute little rendition of "Razzle Dazzle" set in an early 20th century barbershop. Why Ken Berry never became a huge Broadway star is a mystery to me; the man is incredibly talented, especially as a dancer.

The following sketch parodies all of those disaster movies of the 1970s. In "Disaster 75," we find Carol as a stewardess on Titanic Airlines flight 1313. Her passengers include Vicki Lawrence as a singing nun, Ken Berry as a nose transplant patient, and Carl Reiner as the air traffic controller who is also Carol's vengeful ex-lover. In the beginning of the DVD, Carol herself admitted that she would have cut this sketch out of the show if she could. She complained that it lasted forever. It did. I agree with Carol; this was not one of her best works. However, there is a clever little parody of her Q&A segments in this sketch, which pretty much saved the whole thing.

Finally, Harvey, as Alistair "Cookie," parodies Masterpiece Theatre. He announces that the BBC has decided to put Shakespeare's plays into musical comedy form, and that tonight is the first of its efforts.

Their first musical? Hold Me, Hamlet, featuring music by long-time Burnett collaborators Ken and Mitzie Welch.

Yes, at first glance it seems like it's bound to flop, but Harvey, as the King of Denmark, saves this one. Carl Reiner, as Hamlet's father, also saves it. Again, it's not the best mini-musical they have done, but you have to give them credit for trying.

Overall, there are some real gems in this volume, that are really worth seeing. There are some questionable sketches, like I have noted, but even Carol herself has admitted that she couldn't hit it out of the park every time. You take the good, you take the bad...

Oops, wrong show.

Ahhh, The Facts of Life...how I miss you, how I miss you!

Maybe that'll be the next show I'll get on DVD...

Sidewalk Sermons

One of our local residents, David Schultz, likes to have fun with campaign signs. Click here to see all of his sidewalk sermons, courtesy of our unofficial city blog, The Middletown Eye.

Enjoy!

Chocolate Chip Cookie Time!

Why have I been so domestic this weekend? First I made the chicken soup, then I made some fish for dinner tonight. Tilapia with a honey mustard sauce. Yum!

Earlier today, I picked a whole bunch of apples to make applesauce.

I got home, and cleaned my living room like the dickens, and washed a whole bunch of dishes.

How do I reward myself for all the hard work?

I made a batch of my mom's chocolate chip cookies.

I whipped up the dough in my Kitchen Aid, but did NOT want to have to bake cookies all night. That, and a whole batch o' cookies would be toooo tempting, especially since I've lost a bit of weight recently. So I took an idea that I got from Ellie Krieger of the Food Network, and wrapped the extra dough in wax paper logs to freeze. I was tres proud of myself!

I baked only four cookies, but only ate two of them. Even better moment for me!

Recipe to come...I've got laundry to do!

R.I.P.: My Coffee Maker

Yes, it's silly to write a post about a deceased kitchen appliance, but my coffee maker and I have been through a lot together! I first bought it 11 years ago, right before my senior year of college, when the Three D Bed and Bath in the Farmington Valley Mall was going out of business. It was a floor model Braun coffee pot, priced for immediate sale at $9.99.

It came to my dorm room with me, and I started brewing coffee as soon as the year opened. I never brewed the full pot, since I had a single my senior year, but I felt really grown up. However, I tired of drinking coffee rather quickly, and started using it less and less.

It came home with me when I moved back into my parents' house after graduation. It stayed packed in a box for the three years I lived there and got no usage.

It came with me to my first apartment and got a lot of use whenever I had company. My best friend tried making coffee with it, but wasn't used to the coffee makers with the paper filters, just the wire mesh ones. It took him twenty minutes to figure out why the coffee wouldn't drip from the basket. I didn't use it as much for myself, since I wasn't a coffee drinker at the time.

It came with me to my condo, and has been with me ever since. It's gotten more use in the past six months, as I have had to rely on a good caffeine jolt in the morning. It has helped tremendously.

And then the carafe, which was the original one to the coffee pot, shattered one day. I forget the circumstances, but was really annoyed that I had to find a new one. My parents gave me their spare, which was a 12-cup and was two cups too big. I found one of those so-called "universal" carafes at Goodwill for three bucks, and it was guaranteed to fit any coffee maker.

It didn't fit mine. Well, it barely fit; I just had to squeeze it in a certain way to brew, and take it out a certain way to pour.

Finally, in July, I found a small five-cup carafe at Goodwill. Two dollars. I bought it, washed it, and started to use it. It did the trick nicely.

Then last week, something happened with the spout at the end of the basket. It wasn't letting the coffee drip down. It would let it drip down if I jiggled the basket a bit, but I also ran the risk of getting grounds in my coffee. Yuck!

I thought I would just put up with this until the coffee maker died, then a friend of mine at church asked me if I would be interested in taking her old coffee maker off her hands, since she can't drink coffee anymore for health reasons.

The timing could not have been better.

My new coffee maker's a Black and Decker Home Cafe, one of those pod versions, that brews one cup at a time with a pressurized system. It makes a decent cup of coffee; I found it a little weak at first, but it was still okay to drink.

I still have my old coffee maker, though. It's at the top of my refrigerator right now. Maybe there's still a pot or two left in the old Braun...maybe I'll give it another chance this weekend. And if it works, I'll keep it and use it for company.

It's a family tradition to keep coffee makers for years. Ours seem to have sentimental value; my parents can't seem to part with their old perculator, circa 1972, and only use it for when they have company...

ARRGH!!!! I'm turning into my parents!!! HELLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!

The Bookkitten's Hints for Falling Asleep

They said that early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. I say, late to rise and late to bed makes a man feel good and dead.

With this in mind, it is hard for me to adjust back to getting up early. My problem is not the early time, but rather, the fact that I stay up so late that my circadian rhythms are so programmed to sleep well into the mid-morning hours. I am a Night Owl, and looooooooooove staying up late. It's when I come alive, creatively and spiritually.

So now I have to reprogram my body to fall asleep early and wake up at a decent hour. Here's how I am doing it:

1. I don't take sleeping pills. I don't need 'em, and even if I did, I'd have a million questions to ask my doctor. I have some friends who are on Ambien, and their bodies are so accustomed to it they can't fall asleep without it. Even if my doctor would carefully supervise me on these meds, I would still be nervous. We're too pill-happy of a society.

2. I have a TV in my bedroom, and when I go to bed, I put it on sleep mode and flip over to the most boring, monotone program I can find. The Weather Channel usually does it for me.

3. Sometimes I read, but I have to be careful in this, since I love to wrap myself up in a book. If it's a really good book, I'll stay up all night to finish it.

4. In a pinch, I go by the old standbys of hot milk and/or tea. And lavendar spray on my pillow.

Lately though, the Weather Channel has been my bedtime companion. Somehow the Muzak during the Local Forecasts has a wonderful way of lulling me to sleep...

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...

Support Your Local Playwrights!

Last evening I had the pleasure of attending the opening night of the Little Theatre of Manchester's latest production, Sing, Virgie, Sing. It was also the Connecticut premiere of this play, which was written by Wethersfield native Anne Pie (accent aigu over the E; I still haven't figured out how to write accents with Blogger).

Anyhoo, the play takes place in 1945, during the ending days of World War II, and deals with the life of the Bellacastelvetti clan of Hartford. The title character, Virgilio, the Bellacastelvettis' son, suffered an electrocution on the Fourth of July, and no longer can talk, but communicates solely through song. His mother, Josie, is constantly saying novenas to Saint Jude, praying for a miracle. His sister, Raphaela, will not respond to her given name, but the Americanized version, Ella. Ella is embarrassed by her mother's constant praying and doesn't believe in miracles, but relies on the movie stars of the day to escape from her life.

Ella's parents want her to marry Ralph Scotstumato, who owns a produce store in the neighborhood. Ella wants nothing to do with Ralph. Her best friend Tootsie, however, has been in love with him since grade school, but complains that he never notices her. Ella's parents believe that it is destiny, or "il destino", that will lead her to marry Ralph. Ella's father, Frank, rescued Ralph's father from a well, and Ralph's father was so grateful that he promised Frank his firstborn.

Meanwhile, a subplot involves Virgie and his activities after the electrocution. After the doctor examined him and pronounced him OK, Virgie goes to all of the local offices of the four major branches of the Armed Forces and applies to become members of all of them. He receives notices from all of them, which require him to report for boot camp on September 1st.

The title of this play is very misleading. I was led to believe that Virgie was the center of the action, but he is not. He spends most of his time in front of the dining room table, looking around and occasionally breaking into song. He does not break into song that often, though, and when he does, he is sometimes escorted out of the room. The Ella/Ralph romance is the main focus, not Virgie and his performances.

As an Italian-American, I had to laugh at some of the references in the script, such as the Sunday dinners, going to Mass constantly, the overbearing mother, and the belief that Italians can only marry other Italians. However, I was disappointed that there weren't any further references to Hartford in 1945, except for one reference to working at Travelers. There were many references to the classic films of that era, though, but too many. Ella compared so many movie plots to her own life that the device, by the end of the play, had become cliched.

In spite of its flaws, Sing, Virgie, Sing proves to be an enjoyable night at the theatre. Marge Patefield's performance as Mama Bellacastelvetti will remind many of the classic Italian mother, with her constant praying to Saint Jude and mea culpa breast-beating. As Ella, Stacey Hartley displays good chemistry with Patefield in many mother-daughter conflicts that occur throughout the play, particularly when it comes to the issues of love and marriage. But Patricia Urso, in her role as Tootsie, almost steals the show with her portrayal. She is great comic relief, particularly when her character transforms from a mousy Plain Jane wallflower to Joan Crawford in Mildred Pierce--which happens to be one of Tootsie's favorite films.

With all of this talk about buying local foods and local products, it's just as important to support local theatre. Sing, Virgie, Sing runs at Cheney Hall in Manchester each weekend until August 24th. Tickets are fairly inexpensive, and there's not a bad seat in the house. Go to http://www.cheneyhall.org/ for more information. And check out some of the other performances going on at Cheney Hall. It's one of the Connecticut theatre's best kept secrets!

DVD Review: The Carol Burnett Show, Vol. 1

In my last Kitten Confessional, I disclosed that I had subscribed to Guthy Renker's Carol Burnett DVD series, after seeing an informercial. Well, last Saturday afternoon, it arrived in my mailbox, one week ahead of the schedule that the Guthy-Renker representative gave me. I tore the box open, took out the DVD, and sat back to watch two glorious hours of classic TV.

This DVD series is billed as "The Collector's Edition," and what makes it collector-worthy is the commentary from Carol, Harvey, and Tim that bookend each episode. The DVD opens with a wide aerial shot of a camera panning the seats in Studio 33 at CBS Television City, where The Carol Burnett Show was filmed. (Studio 33 is now known as the Bob Barker Studio, named after the longtime host of The Price is Right). The stage itself had mannequins displaying the costumes worn by Carol's most famous characters--Eunice, Stella Toddler, Nora Desmond, Mrs. Wiggins, the Charwoman, and, of course, the famous curtain rod dress she wore in her legendary takeoff of Gone With the Wind. The trio reminisced about the episodes that were on the DVD, reminiscing that was, to me, unscripted. (Then again, you had Tim Conway as a part of the discussion, so any outline of a script was certainly to have gone to pieces).

The first episode of the DVD contained the famous Went With the Wind sketch, which appeared in the second half of the show. The first half started with a Carol/Harvey sketch about a harried business couple who discuss marriage as if they were in a corporate meeting. Harvey showed Carol charts, graphs, and stats of their "potential merger," while Carol was concerned about their "second quarter dip." It was a sketch that could really work well today, with a little updating: add some cell phones, Palm Pilots, and laptops, but don't change the basic humor or premise of the sketch, and it will still be funny.

Dinah Shore followed, with a bluesy, jazzy rendition of "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover." I watched episodes of Dinah's talk show as a child, because she reminded me of my grandmother--sweet and gentle. I watched her golf tournament on TV, not for the golf, but for Dinah. I didn't realize she was a singer till I was much older, and fell in love with her all over again. Dinah can put the phone book to music and come up with a #1 hit.

After Dinah Shore, there was a Harvey/Tim sketch that featured Tim as the Old Man. In this one, the Old Man was a butcher. I'll let you use your imagination as to what happens with this, but I will say one thing: it's one of the rare sketches where Harvey does not crack up at what Tim says or does. It's still funny, though.

Then comes Went With the Wind. Many remember this sketch for the curtain rod sight gag, and rightfully so. However, there was still some brilliant acting in this one, particularly Vicki Lawrence as Cissy. She was absolutely amazing in this sketch, from her one-liners, her energy, and that accent she uses. I don't think the depth of her talent has ever been fully appreciated; she really belongs up there with Carol, Harvey and Tim in the Comic Powerhouse echelon. Vicki Lawrence is really one of the underrated comediennes of our time.

This episode concludes with a medley of New Orleans-style blues. Carol, Vicki, and Dinah all have solos and a group number. Harvey joins in with a song and a trumpet, which he pretends to play. And the dancers get to show off their stuff, too.

The second episode on the DVD guests Roddy McDowall and the Jackson 5. It leads off with Carol's classic Q&A intro, followed by a medley of love songs between Carol and Roddy. Here's the catch: Roddy is wearing his full Planet of the Apes style makeup.

The second sketch of the show is a milestone in Carol Burnett Show history: it's the first appearance of "The Family". Eunice, Mama, and Ed all make their debuts here, and Roddy McDowall guests as baby brother Philip, who just returned to his hometown after winning the Pulitzer and Nobel Prizes. The actors haven't yet fleshed out the full potential of their characters yet, but it was a strong beginning to what has become a classic in American television.

The next sketch is brilliant. It features Harvey and Lyle Waggoner as two carpenters who argue that women can't be as good as men in their jobs--until Carol comes along, and does the whole job while the two of them argue some more. They refuse, however, to accept Carol as a part of their crew--until Carol changes her outfit into a VERY mini dress. I thought this sketch was brilliant because of its underlying issues of sexism in the workplace. Carol does as good a job--even better, in this case--than the men in this sketch, but still has to keep a little femininity in order to be accepted by the guys.

The Jackson 5 make their first guest appearance in the following sketch, singing their hit, "Dancing Machine." As I watched Michael, I couldn't help but get saddened by what he's done to his life over the years.

The four regulars participate in the following sketch, about four people waiting at a bus stop, when the pay phone rings, and it turns out to be from a radio quiz show. I couldn't help but think how much Harvey looked like Karl Malden in this one. (Remember those old American Express ads, kids?)

Roddy and Carol star in the next sketch as two Brits having tea. This sketch was amazing because each line of dialogue was only one single word. Too bad it's not on YouTube; it's something that really needs to be seen in order to be believed.

The show's finale features the Jackson 5 performing their hit "ABC" as students in a music school. During the sketch, the Jackson 5 and the show's dancers are sitting in their desks when an earthquake occurs. Yes, an honest to goodness, San Andreas Fault, honey we're in California now earthquake. You can see the cameras and stage shake if you look really carefully. The Jackson 5 is caught off guard, but not Carol. She just goes on with the sketch, as if nothing had happened.

The DVD ends with Carol today, thanking us for watching, and she, Harvey, and Tim all pull their ears.

Sigh. They really don't make TV like this anymore. The sketches have amazing writing, and none of it is cynical, bitter, or too intellectual. There's no rapid-fire dialogue, and all of the situations in each sketch are real, even though some of the characters, like those in the "Family," can be outrageous. But my favorite parts had to be the finales, which were like mini Broadway revues every single week. There are some clips on YouTube of some more of these finales, and I'll have to post them eventually.

Overall, The Carol Burnett Show is quality entertainment, something the whole family can watch, even if some of the sketch dialogue flies over the kids' heads. I really, really hope people are buying this DVD collection, because my biggest fear is that Carol will become one of those forgotten TV comedians like Milton Berle or Garry Moore (who was, ironically, her mentor). In this day and age, if you don't get extensive press saturation, you're forgotten. I really hope no one ever forgets her; it would be a travesty if they did!

The Wasp Saga: Round One to Kitten!

Around 8:30 this morning, I put on my sweatpants, sweatshirt, and took my Walgreen's Wasp and Hornet Killer outside to do some damage. There were already three wasps hovering around the grill, confused as to why their access was blocked. I decided to test out the potency of this wasp killer and sprayed directly at the flying yellow jackets.

Dead on contact. I watched 'em die. Success!

Then I gingerly opened the lid of the grill, and the wasps were already at work on their nests. I stood back three feet, aimed at the first one, and sprayed. The wasps all fell out and were dead within ten seconds. I did the same thing with the second nest. Finally, once I was assured that all of the wasps were dead, I took my broom handle and knocked out each nest.

I celebrated a small victory. Now I have to wash my grill to get rid of the insecticide residue. That should be a helluva lotta fun.

Wasps

The other afternoon, I was in my office, looked outside the patio door leading to my deck, and found that the cover to my grill had blown off during one of the thunderstorms we had during the week. It was full of water, so I shook out the excess and laid it carefully on the balcony to dry.

And then I noticed something else--a little insect crawling through the hole that you use to light the grill with a match.

It was a wasp.

I knew it wasn't good if there was a wasp going into my grill. And then another crawled in. And another.

Today I finally took a peek under the lid to see how bad it was. There were two small nests there, and the wasps were not at all thrilled at my presence. I dropped the lid and got back inside the house as soon as I could.

There was no question that I had to get rid of these wasps ASAP. I quickly went online and did some research. I learned that it's actually very common for wasps to build nests in gas grills. However, that didn't make me feel better at all. There were wasps living in my grill, and wasps STING! The question was, "How do I get rid of 'em?" I wanted to use something natural and organic so I could keep cooking with my grill, and something that left behind little residue so I wouldn't burn down my condo complex next time I grilled. (Keep in mind that a lot of insecticides are tres flammable.)

I called the natural food store in town. They didn't sell any wasp killers. I then called Home Depot, which is down the street. The guy I spoke with was very helpful. Since the nest was in the grill, he told me to take a long handle, like a broom, knock the nests out of the grill, then spray with the wasp killer once they were knocked down.

Easier said than done. With my luck, I'd be at Middlesex Hospital recovering from full-body stings.

After I got off the phone, I decided to try and suffocate the bastards by putting the cover back on the grill, albeit very, very carefully. Almost as soon as I put it back on, a wasp flew by, attempting to get inside the grill. Then another came around, and I went back inside as soon as I could. By the time I shut the door there were three wasps circulating the grill, trying to find a way to get inside.

Fast forward to midnight. I had just gotten home from a party, armed with a can of Walgreen's Wasp and Hornet Killer. I turned the patio light on. I learned that the best time to kill wasps is either in the early morning or early evening, since the colonies are sleeping then. However, most of my neighbors were sleeping, and I didn't want to possibly awaken them with bloodcurdling screams on the chance that a dozen wasps decided to sting me. That, and I had to take the grill cover off.

I plan to get up early in the morning and attempt to rid these unwanted guests from my grill. Wish me luck; I'll let you know what happens.

Election Humor from the Good Folks at JibJab

SkyMall fun!

Today, while at the beach, one of my friends and I discussed the pure entertainment pleasure that is SkyMall, the airline catalog full of items that you can't imagine that people would buy, no less invent. I do not know a single person who has ordered anything from SkyMall, or rather, would admit to ordering anything from SkyMall.

Anyhoo, I was at a dearth of reading material on my flight home from DC. I was too tired to start a new book, had read my magazines to death, and was sick of doing crossword puzzles. (You know it's been a long day at the airport when I'm sick of doing crossword puzzles). Fortunately, the latest SkyMall was in the pocket in front of me. I opened it up and started to peruse through it--and soon found myself laughing.

Take this first item, the Dough-Nu-Matic. For just $130, it "forms, fries, and drains delectable mini donuts in just 50 seconds!"

Hang on, kids, it gets better. For under $200, you can purchase a machine that makes margaritas--and only margaritas. Whatever happened to all purpose machines?

SkyMall seems to be the largest carrier of Hammacher Schlemmer products in the world. Here is one of them, the travel toothbrush sanitizer.

Finally, here is my favorite category of SkyMall products: the one devoted to pets. Here's one of my favorites, a cabinet that you can use to discreetly disguise your cat's litter box:

And here's another one, which is so much funnier: a litter box disguised as a plant.

Want more SkyMall fun? Check out http://www.skymall.com/.

George Carlin - A place for my stuff

I've finally figured out how to post YouTube clips, so here's George Carlin's take on stuff. WARNING: Offensive language.

R.I.P. Harvey Korman

Last night we lost one of the funniest comedians ever. I grew up watching Carol Burnett and Friends at my grandmother's house, and loved every single second of that wonderful show. Every time I caught it in reruns I would always remember the time I had with my grandmother.
It was especially worth it to watch, if only to see Harvey crack up every time he had a sketch with Tim Conway.

Also, who can forget Harvey as "HEDLEY Lamarr!" in that Mel Brooks classic, Blazing Saddles.

In tribute, here is what is arguably in the top 5 of the best Carol Burnett Show skits ever.

Rest in peace, Harvey. You will be missed.

The search for light, fluffy reads

In my quest for an easy book to read (refer back to "The Bookkitten Needs YOUR Recommendations" for further info), I decided to do a search on Amazon.com and see what they came up with. I typed in "light fluffy reads" and here's what I got:

How to Read a French Fry by Russ Parsons
Did Dinosaurs Have Feathers? by Kathleen Weidner Zoehfeld
The Accidental Werewolf by Dakota Cassidy
My Wicked Pirate by Rona Sharon
The Christmas Pearl by Dorothea Benton
Rabid: A Novel by T.K. Kenyon
The World According to Garp by John Irving
Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder by Joanne Fluke
Party Divas: 12 Fabulous Parties for Women's Ministry by Amber Van Schoonefeld

There were several other selections, but I did not include those. Tell me, what is so light and fluffy about werewolves and dinosaurs having feathers? What's so light and fluffy about rabies? And why should I know, or care, about reading french fries? All I care about is that they're tasty, salty, and oh so yummy.

Fortunately for Amazon, customers can create their own lists of picks. To the left of the screen was a list titled "Books for a scattered mind." I don't know what that has to do with lightness and fluffyness, but I thought I'd give it a shot.

Here are some selections that I found:

Collected Poems of Edna St. Vincent Millay
As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
The Adrian Mole Diaries by Sue Townsend (a HUGE favorite of mine as a teenager, something I may revisit this summer)
Letters and Papers from Prison by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

So much for lightness and fluffiness there. Then there was a list called "Some cool books." And here's some of what I found THERE:

The Catcher in the Rye
Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut
On the Road by Jack Kerouac

And so the search for light fluffy reads continues...