A quick hello...

Thanks to everyone who left me comments and well wishes on my "Sabbatical" post. I told you I wouldn't be gone for long! However, many of you were worried about what's been going on, so I only thought it was fair to let you in on some details...

Regular readers know that I've been battling depression almost my entire life. I wasn't officially diagnosed until May of 2002, though. I've been doing really well depression-wise for the past year...but this past week, the symptoms started coming back. And its best friend, anxiety, has been paying a visit as well.

I've been seeing a therapist for the past 15 months. She's been a big help. A few months ago I felt I was doing well enough to reduce the visits from every week to every other week...I think I'm going to have to increase the visits back to weekly for a while.

I also need to see my GP. I need to talk to her because I may need to get back on meds. I've been off them for a year--the first year since I was diagnosed that I've been nonmedicated. What worries me most about getting back on the meds are the physical side effects. When I was on Prozac, I gained a lot of weight. When I was on Lexipro, not only did I gain more weight than I did when I was on Prozac, but I also felt fatigued all the time. I'd come home from work at 4 PM and sleep for the next four hours. Not a healthy way to live.

While the drugs offered me a sense of mental stability, I don't want to compromise my physical health, either.

Last night I forced myself to attend a church potluck. I'm really glad I went. I'm feeling a lot better, but I'm not going to consider myself cured.

So that's what's been going on off-blog...I'm not going to delve into the reasons why I believe the depression has resurfaced. I'll just say that March has come in like a lion and it is going to leave like a lion. I haven't had a full day to myself since my birthday. I had a stressful day at work on my birthday, and it hasn't abated yet. I'm not going to have a full day to myself till after Easter, when I'm on vacation.

When I say full day to myself, I mean a day free of commitments. A day where I can stay in my pajamas from sunrise till sunset. A day when I don't have to shower. A day when I don't have to leave the house and can sleep all day if I wanted to.

And finally, there's the blogging. I've been overwhelmed by it lately. As of this writing I follow 65 blogs. Every night I was faithful about reading all the new posts and commenting on every single one. But 65 blogs is a lot to read in one night. I know that all of them didn't update simultaneously, but I knew I had to figure out a way to read all of my updates withouth getting overwhelmed.

Within all this, something had to give--and that something is blogging. I don't anticipate I'll be blogging full-time again until after Easter. I need to get my mental health straightened out and need to take a rest from life--even if it's just grabbing a few minutes here and there. I'll post some bits and pieces every now and then, but it won't be the lengthy tomes you've all been accustomed to.

Phew! So much for a quick hello! Again, thanks for all of your well-wishes! We'll chat soon!