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1. Why the heck did you come back this week to do this meme?
I've had a long week and desperately needed to destress. Besides, the questions were really good this week--the best they've been in a while.
2. Ever whiten your teeth?
I tried about eight years ago, right before a wedding that I was a bridesmaid in. The peroxide in them irritated my gums, so I stopped after a couple of days.
3. Do you drive the speed limit?
Hell no! There's a reason why they call me Lead Foot! Besides, if you're in Connecticut, and you drive I-95, you're required to go over the limit. You drive the limit and you'll be among the dead possums at the side of the road.
4. Did the dog eat your homework?
Uh, well, see Miss, the dog didn't mean to eat my homework, but, see, I spilled some gravy on it cuz I was doing it while I was eating dinner an' the dog smelled the gravy and...well, the creative juices are running low tonight. Sorry guys.
5. How many bites does it take to get to the center of a watermelon?
As many licks as it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop.
6. Did you eat paint chips as a child?
Ewww! Gross! I never heard or anyone eating paint chips! I did eat Meow Mix on occasion, though, and it was quite tasty, from what I remember.
7. If someone knocked on your door at 1am, would you answer it?
NO!!! There's too much violence in our world nowadays!
8. "Amazingly Smooth" makes you think of what?
An advertisement for some new cream that gets rid of the hair on women's legs "up to twice as long as shaving!"
9. What was the last stupid thing someone said to you? (not counting this meme’s questions)
I can't remember the last stupid thing, but it's hard to top someone asking me, "Did you know that Bill Clinton's married to Hillary Clinton?"
10. Would you eat a stick of butter for $100?
No, I wouldn't. Pass the Meow Mix, please.
11. Find the nearest fabric tab, not counting your clothing you are wearing. What does it say the object is made of and where was it made?
Polyester, rayon, and spandex, made with pride in Guatemala.
12. What is the strangest name you’ve ever heard someone name their child?
It's really hard to top some of the celebrity baby names out there. Again, I can't think of too many clever things to write tonight.
13. Why is some toilet paper really soft and others are really hard?
I think it depends on the paper. I used recycled paper toilet paper, and that's not exactly the softest kind, but it's better for the environment--or rather, my conscience.
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