Kitten on the Aisle: Oscars 2010

I was so looking forward to the Oscars this year, especially after I heard that Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin were hosting. One man was a legendary comedic genius, the other one of the hippest actors on television today. Alec Baldwin just embodies the part of Jack Donaghy on 30 Rock. He has deservedly won every award he has collected for that role.

I thought, given these two hilarious men, that the Oscars were going to be a laugh a minute, satirical fest full of lots of biting, sarcastic wit. I couldn't wait to see the zingers that the team of Baldwin and Martin exchanged.

Oh, kittens, I don't know about you, but I was so very disappointed in this year's festivities.

It all started after they introduced the nominees for Best Actor and Actress at the top of the show. I mean, that was a nice tribute, but what was the point? Why not introduce all of the people nominated in the major categories? It was kinda awkward. Then there was an awkward transition to the Neil Patrick Harris number--which I must admit was cute. But then again, how could you not love Neil Patrick Harris? (Sorry, former Doogie Howser groupie writing here).

And then our hosts descended from the ceiling. As I wrote, I was expecting lots of biting, sarcastic wit. However, I think Martin and Baldwin were playing it safe--a little too safe, if you asked me. They reminded me of two guys hanging outside the bathroom next to they gym, making snide comments about the cool kids as they walked by. I was expecting belly laughs, and I didn't get them. I was tres disappointed.

And then the awards began. I didn't like the changes I saw. No performances of original songs. People presenting that had nothing to do with the nominated pictures, but everything to do with the desperate attempt to capture a young audience (Miley Cyrus and Zac Efron, anyone?)

I got bored rawther quickly. I turned off the TV and went to bed at 9:30 EST. However, after I climbed under the covers I watched a little more--enough to see The Hurt Locker win for original screenplay and Mo'Nique win for Precious--an award that was much deserved.

I must admit, though, that in spite of its shortcomings, this year's Oscars did have some memorable moments. I really enjoyed and appreciated the John Hughes tribute; after all, I grew up with his films, and to this day, my friends and I will still recite dialogue from Ferris Bueller, The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles when given the chance. And I love whenever Ben Stiller presents an award.

But what I regret missing is Kathryn Bigelow's win as Best Director, as well as The Hurt Locker beating out Avatar for so many awards. Especially since James Cameron was behind Avatar. Now kittens, as I have written before, I am not a movie person. But I have not been a fan of James Cameron since I saw Titanic. I loathed Titanic. When the iceberg hit the boat, I kept looking at my watch, thinking, "Why don't you just sink the boat, already?" It was frustrating. I didn't like the dialogue in that movie, I didn't like the acting, and I didn't like the whole over-the-top special effects. It was overblown, and overrated.

And when James Cameron won Best Director for that movie, and he hoisted the Oscar above his head, proclaiming himself King of the World, well, that just did it for me.

So that's my take on this year's Oscars. Maybe I had gotten too accustomed to the song-and-dance routines that Hugh Jackman and Billy Crystal did so well. But for me, this year's awards lacked quite a bit.

On that note, I can't wait to see what the Tonys have in store. I'm more of a live theatre person than a move person anyway.

Travels with Kitten: And you thought KIDS couldn't follow simple directions...

When you travel, you can't help but observe others' actions of idiocy. My recent trip was full of them. Consider these:

• On my flight to San Juan, as I went through security, the lady in front of me was having her carry-on literally taken apart. Reason? She tried to carry full-sized toiletries on the plane. I'm talking, large, economy-sized bottles of shampoo, mouthwash, toothpaste, sunscreen, perfume--you name it, she had it. Her mouth was agape as the security agent confiscated all but her bag. Yes, it may have been quite some time since she last flew, but hasn't the 3-1-1 rule been widely publicized? And did anyone alert her to said rule?
• Before leaving the ship, our cabin steward left us extremely detailed directions on the whole disembarkation process. Now, one of those rules clearly stated that you could not take any produce item off the ship and bring it into the country. Well, as we were waiting in line at customs, a nice young agent happened to walk by with her nice young beagle, who happened to sniff the duffel bag of a nice young couple. The nice young couple had a gallon-sized Ziploc bag of bananas, oranges, and apples with them, directly from the buffet line. They didn't have it for long.
• If you've never been on a cruise ship before, on the last night of your cruise, you have to put your luggage outside your cabin. The cabin stewards collect the bags, and when the ship arrives in port, sends them to a large hangar where the passengers can reclaim them upon disembarkation. This is supposed to expedite the check-out process. In the extremely detailed instructions that your cabin steward leaves you, it specifically and clearly states that you must put any needed documentation--including your PASSPORT--in your carry-on. Imagine the shock on the face of the woman I sat next to in the martini bar when she realized she had PACKED her passport, thinking she could retrieve it when she got her luggage back. In some cases, you can, but not always!

And I could go on and on, but I will spare you. But it just amazes me how reasonably functioning, intelligent adults can't follow the most basic directions...

Yo soy...

I'm back, kittens! Refreshed and relaxed from my southern Caribbean vaycay, and dreading the return to work tomorrow. Please forgive me for what is going to be an abundance of Spanish in this post; I spent the day in Old San Juan yesterday! It was beautiful and warm and colorful--and right now, here in Connecticut, it's grey and bare. Sigh.

Anyhoo, I'm stealing this meme from Emalee. I will tell you tales of my trip muy pronto. Ciao for now!

I am: Kitten

I think: that there is still a lot of good in the world, in spite of all of the bad things

I know: life is full of challenges

I want: to sleep in tomorrow morning

I have: lots of things to say

I dislike: war

I miss: various friends and family members

I fear: snakes

I feel: lots of emotions

I hear: the cars driving by my house

I smell: nothing. I have a clogged-up nose

I crave: love and affection

I usually: find excuses to turn up the car radio as loud as possible

I search: funny or profound quotations

I wonder: how some people just can't follow simple directions

I regret: I try not to regret too many things

I love: my family and friends

I care: deeply

I always: am driving someplace

I worry: about the future

I remember: things I really ought to forget

I have: a clogged-up nose

I dance: more often in private than in public

I sing: all the time

I don’t always: cook dinner at night

I argue: rarely; I try to avoid it

I write: on my blog

I lose: faith in others

I wish: we didn't struggle

I listen: to music all the time

I don't understand: why life is so hard

I can usually be found: in the car

I am scared: of what life can bring

I need: money so I can travel more often

I forget: important things

I am happy: most of the time

Vacation's all I ever wanted...

Kittens, I am blogging from my cell phone--at the airport! This is just a quick, last minute post to let you know I'll be on vaycay next week--a cruise from San Juan!! I promise to catch up with y'all upon my return. Ciao for now!! :)

Saturday 9: I Started a Joke

It's been a while since I did a Saturday 9 meme. I just read Jodi's answers and she inspired me to do this one. Thanks, my friend! I've missed you!
1. Tell us a joke that you think is funny. If you don't tell jokes tell us why.
I don't really tell jokes. I just make observations about people and life that I think are funny. I think a lot of the traditional "chicken crossing the road" or pun jokes take too long to set up, and once you get to the punchline, you're half asleep.

2. Where do you buy most of your clothes?
Wherever there's a good sale. I particularly enjoy the outlets. Lane Bryant and Old Navy have awesome sales. And my friend Chantal and I love to peruse the clearance racks at Macy's for all the good deals.

3. Which famous person would you like to meet? Why?

Because he's really funny and a class act. And he seems like a really nice guy to boot.

I'd also love to meet Carol Burnett, since she was my first comedy hero. Oooh, better yet, to meet Coco and Carol at THE SAME TIME!!! SQUEEEEE!!! (Of course, the odds of that ever happening are very, very, very slim to none, sadly).

4. What is your ultimate ambition?
I enjoy what I do for a living, but I would love to be a professional writer or a librarian. Or both!

5. Do you like to live in the area of your country or would you prefer something a little different?
I'd like to keep my house here in Connecticut, and have a house somewhere in a warmer climate. I don't mind the cold and the snow, but it sometimes wreaks havoc on my mood. Maybe when I retire I'll become a snowbird...

6. Has a newspaper or television reporter ever interviewed you? If so, what were the circumstances and what did you think when you read or saw what you said?
Twice. I was once interviewed when I was in middle school for an article about our new principal. In high school I was interviewed with a group of friends about Pope John Paul II's visit to the United States. The reporter asked us our opinions on the Pope's influence on young people.

7. What was the last CD/mp3 album that you purchased? How did you like it?
Vampire Weekend, Contra. Love it! I love how the band incorporates so many different musical styles into one CD.

8. Write down 5 songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you.
1. Diane Birch, "Nothing But a Miracle." This is my absolute favorite song of the moment. She's just got such an amazing retro-pop sound. I love anything retro.



2. Amy Grant, "Stay for Awhile."
I first heard this song during my freshman year in college. It became a part of the first mix tape I made that year. Back then, it reminded me of friendships in high school I was trying to hold onto. These days it reminds me of old friendships that I still maintain.



3. "Blessed," Elton John
I feel that this is God's song to me. I first heard it when I was going through a rough patch during my sophomore year of college. Whenever I had moments of self-doubt, this song would immediately come on the radio. Yes, I know it was popular at the time, and yes, I know the cynics will be very quick to point that out. But it's been fourteen years since I've heard that song and it still comes on the radio or my iPod just when I need to hear it most.



4. "These Are Days," 10,000 Maniacs
This was the theme song for my college orientation. I made some of my best friends in life during my college years. It still reminds me to treasure the present day, and to look for the good in each day.



5. "Hungry Heart," Bruce Springsteen

Because it's Bruce and I love him. And I love this song.


9. Do you are your partner usual begin intimacy?
N/A.

How to survive Conan withdrawal

So you've watched all the YouTube clips you could find and ripped 'em to your hard drive. Your DVR has gotten frequent replay of the last two weeks of Tonight Show episodes. You've downloaded all of the old Late Night sketches and specials available on iTunes.

After all that, how else do you survive seven Coco-free months--and potentially more after September if he doesn't land back on TV? (I won't be cynical, dammit! He WILL get back on TV, Rupert Murdoch-willing!!!)

Kittens and COCO-nuts, here are some suggestions on how to deal:

• Become acquainted with other redheaded comedy pioneers. If you aren't familiar with the work of Lucille Ball or Carol Burnett, get to know them ASAP. (And let's be honest here--who hasn't seen an episode of I Love Lucy in their lifetimes?) Lucy's still on TV Land, I believe, but you'll need to do a YouTube search for Carol clips. I'm particularly addressing this to the younguns in the Peanut Gallery, who were not fortunate enough to grow up with either The Carol Burnett Show or Carol Burnett and Friends. I've still got Carol DVDs that I haven't watched yet. Now's the perfect time!
• Feel free to steal my Conan playlist. I created it after his last episode of the Tonight Show. I selected some obvious ones here, but I also included tunes from artists who appeared on the show during its all-too-brief run on the airwaves (as well as a couple of tunes from Late Night):

1. "Surrender," Cheap Trick
2. "We're Going to Be Friends," the White Stripes
3. "Sulphur to Sugarcane," Elvis Costello
4. "You Never Know," Wilco
5. "Need You Now," Lady Antebellum
6. "Chasing Pavements," Adele
7. "Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)," the Chipettes
8. "Nothing But a Miracle," Diane Birch
9. "Tik Tok," Ke$ha
10. "The Night Chicago Died," Paper Lace
11. "Cousins," Vampire Weekend
12. "Where Do I Begin (Theme from Love Story)," Barry Manilow
13. "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction," the Rolling Stones
14. "Long May You Run," Neil Young and Stephen Stills
15. "Free Bird," Lynyrd Skynyrd
16. "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday," Boyz II Men

• Check out other quirky, offbeat comedy shows. I highly recommend Flight of the Conchords. And while you're at it, get the FotC soundtracks as well.
• Go visit the blog of former Tonight Show blogger, Aaron Bleyaert. You can visit his blog here. He seems like one extremely cool dude. And he's starting a web show with other former Tonight Show staffers. Looking forward to that!
• Try not to search Google News too much for all of the latest info. If Conan's name doesn't show up in the first few articles that come up in the Entertainment section, nothing big has happened.

And there you have it. I'm sure that my other darling kittens and COCOnuts have some suggestions out there...fire away!

How to survive Glee withdrawal

Yesterday I read on the Entertainment Weekly website that there were 70 days till Glee returns with brand new episodes. Today, obviously, there are 69. So how does a kitten cope with the lack of new episodes? The possibility of Will and Emma becoming an official couple? How will the Finn-Puck-Quinn melodrama play out? And what about Sue?

Well, during my lunch break I came across an article on Yahoo! Entertainment: "Tips on Surviving the Glee Hiatus." Kittens, I present you with said list, as well as my thoughts on this advice:

• Go back to high school with Popular DVDs: If I had Netflix this would be an option. But I don't. And I seriously doubt the remaining Blockbuster in my area would carry them.
• Listen to the Spring Awakening soundtrack: Lea Michele, aka Rachel Berry, was nominated for a Tony for this musical. Alas, I am well over my iTunes budget for the month, so this will have to wait.
• Watch encores of The Pregnancy Pact on Lifetime: NO. THANK. YOU.
• Skip to the singing scenes on Pushing Daisies: See my comment about the Popular DVDs. Although I may have to succumb to this one, since I am rawther fond of Kristin Chenowith, and she's coming back to Glee for at least another episode--hopefully two!
• Watch Jessalyn Gilsig die on Nip/Tuck: This clip had better be on YouTube! I can't stand Terri! I never liked her from the first episode. Will is too good for her; she's just so incredibly shallow and fake and possessive and...ooooohhhhh!!!!
• Meet figure skater Johnny Weir: To quote the Yahoo! article, "There's little that's more fabulous on television these days than the over-the-top "Glee," but Olympic figure skating might give it a run for its money — especially the amazingly glittering and theatrical Johnny Weir." Well, I do have the Sundance channel, but rarely, if ever, watch it. I have seen Johnny Weir perform, though. He's all right; no Brian Boitano, though.
• Rent Julie and Julia. The wonderful Jane Lynch plays Julia Child's sister in this movie, and is almost unrecognizable. I love Jane Lynch, I love Meryl Streep, and I frakkin' heart this movie. Rent it? I'll buy it!

Well, kittens, those tips are fine and dandy and all--but I'm a working gal. I don't have time to sit in front of the computer screen or the TV for so long and watch all that stuff! So here's how I've been coping:

• Sister Kitten got me the DVD box set for Christmas. One of the best Christmas gifts I received this past year.
• Sister Kitten also got me the two soundtracks. Do I have a tres fab sister or what? I much prefer volume one over volume two, though.
  
• Jane Lynch is amazing in A Mighty Wind. She co-starts beside John Michael Higgins as a singer in a hokey folk band. A must watch; and she's killer at improv!
• Watching Matthew Morrison perform at last year's Kennedy Center Honors. He sang "Springtime for Hitler" during the Mel Brooks tribute. (This song, for those of you who may not know, is the signature tune from The Producers.) And he dances, too!!! HE DANCES!!!!

• Watching any Glee parody I can get my paws on. Witness this clip from Late Night with Jimmy Fallon:

• Take comfort in knowing that Glee has a definite, guaranteed return date of April 13, 2010 on FOX.

A definite return date...

...unlike someone else who just left the airwaves... :(

Tomorrow, my guide for surviving Conan withdrawal.

All hail the wooden spoon

So I turned the PJs inside out last night and slept with a wooden spoon under my pillow...

And I had a two-hour delayed opening at work today.

Wooden spoons: they aren't just for cooking any more.

The Queen's Meme: The Blog Blizzard Meme

And now for another round of meme goodness with the Queen of Memes, my pal Mimi. Click the button above to learn more.

1. An unexpected blizzard occurs. The power goes out for 10 days. There is no food in the house, no gas in the car, no heat, no TV, no computer, nada! You are snowed in and can't get to the store for supplies. How would you survive? How would you get out of this mess?
No TV?!?! No computer?!?! Are you frakkin' KIDDING me?!?! How would I survive? Well, I AM the Bookkitten after all; I would survive by engaging in one of life's more traditional pleasures: reading. I'd read by candlelight. I'd read all of the books that are on my TBR pile--all fifty-plus of them.

How do I get out of this mess? Easy. I'm my Mama Cat's kitten. My pantry is stocked with lots of canned goods. I could easily survive on tuna for ten days, as well as canned corn, canned green beans, and virtually any tomato product. Mmmm, tomato sauce...

2. Tell us about your last snowball fight.
It was about seven or eight years ago, at BFF's old apartment. There was a rawther nasty snowstorm the night before. The plow wasn't gonna come for a while to clear out the parking lot, so we dug out with our shovels. We got into a snowball fight with the five-year-old boy who lived downstairs. His father joined in. And we played baseball with snowballs and shovels. It was a fun, sweet, happy time. :)

3. You have been asked to make a snowman. What is his name?
His name is Conan, and he has a poofy, snowy pompadour atop his head. :)

4. I have mountains of snow outside my door. I would like to make snow soup. What is the recipe?
Well, first of all, make sure the snow isn't yellow or brown. Only the purest, whitest snow will do. Make sure there are no footprints or signs of touch. Gently scoop the snow and slowly simmer it over low heat. Then add lots of carrots.

5. It is Day 5 of the Big Blog Blizzard. You have been hunkered down for a very long time and in danger of losing your sanity. Your blog neighbors (that would be us) come callin' to see if you're OK. We peek in the window. What do we see?
What are you doing in there?
I am pacing my living room, cursing the heavens, and signing loudly to myself. You will see me slowly go insane from lack of communication, information, and inspiration. But then again, since I don't have any electricity or phone, how would I know it was day five, anyway? I'd lose track of time.

6. Who is the flakiest snowflake in your life? Past or present.
I plead the fifth. I have at least one family member who reads this blog on a semi-regular basis, and I don't want her snitching on me. (Hi, Sister Kitten!)

7. You are Snow White. Which dwarf is your favorite and why?
Happy. At least he'd be able to entertain me during the storm. His name IS Happy, after all.

8. What is the most fun you've ever had inside during a snowstorm?
I don't have anything tres memorable, other than the joy that one experienced in elementary school when one had a snow day and could watch endless Brady Bunch and Looney Tunes reruns on TV. That, and Mama Cat made a mean grilled cheese sandwich.
9. What was Jack Frost nipping at?
My cheekbones. How do you think this kitten maintains a rosy glow? ;)

10. Due to blobal warming (that's blog + global for all you non-blog speakers) your snowman has prematurely melted. What was his last request?
*SIGH* For those COCOnuts who are reading this, you all know that this question hits all too close to real life for us. On a serious note, let me remind you all of his farewell Tonight Show speech: Work hard. Be kind. Don't be cynical. *SIGH* Is September here yet?

And now, another check of the weather....

Yesterday, I wrote about how crazy the weathermen here in Connecticut get when there's even the chance of a mild snowstorm coming. Well, kittens, it's started up again--the local newscasts are gonna get started at 4 AM tomorrow. :P

Me? I wouldn't mind a day off. One of my friends on Facebook turns his pajamas inside out and sleeps with a wooden spoon under his pillow. That's supposed to bring a snow day.

I've never tried it before. The last time I did such a thing was when I hung rosary beads outside my dorm room window the day before my college graduation. When you do that, it's supposed to keep the rain away.

It poured like hell on my graduation.

So tonight, I'm going to try this and see what happens. I'll keep you kittens posted.

P.S. If any of you have tried this yourselves, what has been your success rate? I'm curious!

An afternoon rendez-vous at AAA

Last month I got a letter from the Department of Motor Vehicles, aka the DMV, aka the Happiest Place on Earth. Disneyland doesn't even come close to the wonder, beauty, and enjoyment that is this lovely state agency. The lines are just as long, and the employees are oh-so-friendly. And if you call them, they answer your call promptly--after twenty-plus minutes of hold time, three transfers to voice mail, and being put on hold a few times while the newbee searches endlessly for his supervisor.

Yeah, I frakkin' heart the DMV to pieces.

Fortunately, I don't have to go there anymore. Here in Connecticut, one can renew one's vehicle registration online, and get the registration sticker in the mail two days later. That's about as long as you wait for same sticker at a DMV branch, but at least you don't have to waste the gas to get there. And even better, with a AAA membership, one can go to AAA for license renewal.

Wait time at AAA? Ten minutes or less.

So my lovely letter from the CT-DMV said that my license was up for renewal on March 3rd--my birthday. I last had my license renewed in 2004, shortly after I returned home from a cruise. I went to AAA for that one, and I remember primping endlessly that day, fixing my hair and makeup just so, so I could get a halfway decent picture. I chose my outfit very carefully. When you have a picture taken that has to last you the next six years, you gotta look good.

Anyhoo, I went to AAA today to pick up the tickets for my upcoming cruise. I haven't told you kittens about that yet. My friend Chantal and I are leaving February 13th for a week-long southern Caribbean cruise. I can't frakkin' wait! But I digress...

So I went to AAA and checked in at the reception. In order for me to pick up the tickets, I had to hand the receptionist either my AAA card or my driver's license.

I handed her my driver's license, and told her I needed to have it renewed. I asked her when the best time was for me to come in.

She told me I could renew it on the spot.

GASP!!!

I rapidly searched through my purse for my compact. I had to make sure I didn't look shiny. I powdered my nose, put on some lipstick, and thanked the Lord I was having a good hair day. I also thanked the Lord that I had my biannual dental checkup the day before; I felt good knowing my pearly whites were their whitest.

Soon enough, I found myself in front of the camera and smiled.

Less than five minutes later, I had my license.

And...

Best frakkin' photo of me ever taken.

I wish I could post it online for all of you to see, but that would be illegal. But my point is this: Six years ago I agonized over my license photo, only to get a somewhat decent result. I hardly prepped for this one and my photo looks damn good.

And I'm really glad, because the next time it's up for renewal, I'll be forty.

Yep, the big four-oh.

I hope I look that good in six years...

And now, a check of the weather...

Here in the Nutmeg State, it's easy to get excited over a pending snowstorm. Especially if you happen to work as a TV weatherman.

Regardless of what state you live in, though, have any of you kittens noticed that no two meteorologists make the same predictions?

Take for example, the weathermen here in our fair state of Connecticut. We have one weatherman who gets excited whenever a FLAKE of snow hits the ground. It doesn't matter that there's a prospect of a flurry or six inches, the storm gets HYPED. The other weathermen seem to be more realistic and relaxed over their predictions. But the one who hypes it up most gets the most attention from the viewers--even if his forecasts aren't exactly accurate.

But the day before the storm hits, it's a different story. Maps are plastered all over local newscasts, dividing the state into three tiers. The northern third of the state is usually highlighted in white, which indicates that they're going to get the most snow. The central tier is highlighted in light grey, indicating that they're going to get a moderate amount of snow, and the final tier, the shoreline, is highlighted pink or green. Typically, the shoreline area gets either mixed precipitation or straight out rain.

And then there's the actual day of the storm...oh boy.

Local newscasts start at 4 AM. As soon as one school calls in a delay or a closing, the crawl immediately starts at the bottom of the screen. Reporters are outside, in different areas of the state, describing the condition of the roads, the texture of the snow, and insisting that if you don't need to go anywhere, stay inside.

And it doesn't matter if it's an inch or two feet. This happens EVERY FRAKKIN' TIME we have a snow storm.

Now, as I write this on the eve of Groundhog Day, I realize that the weather-predicting rodents are no different than their human counterparts. Punxsutawney Phil and his brethren have been predicting the possibility of spring's arrival for many years now. However, no two predictions are the same. Phil is like the weatherman who gets excited whenever one flake of snow falls to the ground. His cousins are like the other more realistic weathermen: laid back, whatever happens, happens.

And Phil is the one who gets all the attention.

Even if his predictions aren't 100% accurate.

So who shall I be listening to tomorrow for my weather predictions? Will it be Punxsutawney Phil, Chuckles, or Sir Walter Willy? I think I'm gonna go with Staten Island Chuck. For me, nothing symbolizes the arrival of spring than the prediction of a city-dwelling rodent living in one of the outer boroughs.

Good luck Chuck!

Laryngitis

This afternoon I went to the clinic to find out what has been wrong with me. I've been battling a rawther nasty dry cough since the first week of the month, and recently, stuff has been settling in my chest. Today it got really bad at work. I had such a bad coughing attack that I had to use my rescue inhaler--and after holding my breath for about three seconds, the room started to spin, and I nearly passed out.

I went to the clinic and brought my Internet-capable cell phone, my iPod, and my book. I was fully prepared to spend the minimum two-hour wait that I usually have when I'm forced to go to the clinic.

(Now, I prefer to go to my regular physician, but the latest appointment I could get was 2:30 PM--too early for me to leave work).

So I get to the clinic, and I'm in and out in twenty minutes--a frakkin' record.

The doctor who saw me was also asthmatic, and had the same dry cough that I did. She listened to my lungs, and concluded that, while there was some wheezing going on, it wasn't severe enough to merit a Z-pack. In other words, no antibiotics for moi.

She told me to take Mucinex twice a day, as well as two tablespoons of Robitussin twice a day. Both of which I have in my medicine chest. However, she used the lengthy chemical, pharmaceutical, technical names, which I didn't understand at first. But now I do.

The Good Doc was impressed with my Peak Flow, especially considering that I had a tight chest at the time of the visit, and because I'm barely five feet tall.

She did, however, write me a prescription for Prednizone--just in case.

Here's hoping I don't get to the "just in case." Prednizone is an AWFUL drug. Yes, I know it works miracles for some people, but the side effects are terrible.

Sooo...I'm on a diet of over the counter meds, lots of tea, and rest. Oh...and I can't talk for 24 hours. That's not per doctor's orders; that's MY decision. By the end of the work day I barely had a voice. So I'm not going to talk--not even to my cats--until Friday morning.

Yes, I am taking a sick day tomorrow.

And this silent period is killing me already.

I can't wait to talk again.

The songs in my head--feel free to shoot me for this one

A few words about Ke$ha:

• The girl can barely sing. She makes Britney Spears look like Renee Fleming--well, I'm exaggerating here, but still...
• The dollar sign in her name is such a cheesy gimmick.
• She is such a frakkin' Lady Gaga wannabe.

And yet..."Tik Tok" is so catchy.

Once again, kittens, feel free to shoot me for this one.



P.S. I didn't include the original music video for this. It's bad...and not in a good way.

Half New Yorker, half New Jerseyan, 100% Nutmegger

I'm a member of the New England Bloggers, and this week, they're celebrating their first anniversary. Elizabeth, our founder, has asked us to write posts that have something to do with New England.

Well, this is rawther tough for me...for I really don't identify myself as a New Englander. You see, while I grew up here in Connecticut, I wasn't born here. I spent the first four years of my life in South Salem, New York.

My family lived in a house atop a huge hill, with several hairpin turns. It was a LOT of fun to shovel in the days before snowblowers. Did I mention that the driveway was also 800 feet long?

We lived by a lake. During the summers all of the neighbors would gather round and go swimming, followed by barbecues at each others' houses. During the winters all the neighbors would gather round and go skating, followed by hot chocolates at each others' houses.

We moved March 3, 1980. My fourth birthday. My mother cried all the way to Connecticut. My father worked for Aetna, and his job got transferred to the company headquarters in Hartford.

My mother, when we moved, had never lived in any other state. She had never lived twenty minutes away from her family. My father had never lived an hour away from his. So the move was tough for both of them for that reason.

Add to this the fact that they both grew up in the New York metropolitan area. My mother lived in a small town called Millwood. She is still in touch with her best friends from elementary school. It was the kind of town where you could walk wherever you wanted to, leave your doors unlocked all the time, and not have to worry about your kids' whereabouts. Yet it was close enough to New York City that there was a lot of diversity, cultural opportunities, and public transportation.

My father grew up in Linden, New Jersey, just outside of Newark. He lived with my grandparents and my uncle in the bottom apartment of a two-family house. My grandfather owned the house and rented out the VERY small one-bedroom apartment on the top floor. The bottom floor was a two-bedroom apartment--that is, if you could consider my dad and uncle's room to be a bedroom. They slept on a fold-out couch and shared a closet.

I mention my parents' background because, when we first moved to Connecticut, the culture shock they experienced was enormous. My father, about a month after we moved here, suggested to one of our neighbors that they go to a local high school football game. My neighbor laughed; our town did not have a high school football team. They ordered a pizza, opened the box, and were shocked to see that the slices weren't cut into triangles. They still complain about the dearth of good slices in the Nutmeg State (although we have managed to find much better pizza; you just have to look very carefully).

But my point is this: When you take two people who are used to growing up in urban areas, and transplant them into a tiny, quiet, rural Connecticut town, cultural differences WILL ensue. And people WILL notice.

I have very vague memories of South Salem; my sister, however, does not. She was nine months old when she moved. I was pretty much raised with New York sensibilities. I grew up rooting for the Mets when everyone else cheered for the Red Sox. I knew what it was like to have the Italian relatives who cooked endless mountains of pasta for you. My friends couldn't understand why people would have plastic slipcovers on their couches, as my grandmother did.

So basically, what I'm trying to say is this: I've never really identified myself as a pure New Englander. Growing up, especially during my high school and college years, I focused on all of the negative things about Connecticut--Hartford, especially. If some colleges are considered to be "suitcase schools" because the majority of their on-campus residents go home for the weekend, then Hartford is a "suitcase city." My sister and I went to see a Theaterworks production one Sunday afternoon, and I felt LESS safe walking through an empty Hartford downtown than we did during the busy, bustling downtown of the work week.

As a kid I grew up in a neighborhood full of people my age, and for some reason, my house was always the focal gathering point. We spent a lot of time outside. We made up our own games. We chased each other often. We all walked to school together. But these are more innocent childhood memories than they are strictly New England ones.

I now live in a mid-sized Connecticut city. I really enjoy living where I do right now. There are lots of good places to eat, Wesleyan University's nearby, and New Haven's not that far away, so I can hop on the Metro North and go to the city whenever I want.

As I have gotten older, I've found new things to appreciate about our fair state, and my hometown in particular. But even though I tell people that I'm from Connecticut, I don't consider myself a New Englander. Probably because I don't know what really constitutes one.

P.S. Even though I've lived here 30 years now, I've only been to Boston three times. One time per decade. And as much as I enjoy it, I still prefer New York.

Desiderata

The day of my high school graduation, my French teacher gave all of her seniors copies of the Desiderata. Since then I've regarded it as one of my favorite poems, if not, my absolute favorite.

I don't know why it suddenly came across my conscience tonight, but it did, and I am posting it.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

An open letter to Mr. Conan O'Brien

Kittens,

I realize that there are much, much more important things going on right now that to mourn the end of a television show. That having been said, let us not forget that it is unhealthy to be maudlin and morose 24/7. Our species provides us numerous forms of escape from reality--music, painting, reading, movies, and, of course, television. Conan's version of the Tonight Show was one form of escape for me.

I have never written a fan letter, and I am not normally the type of person to do so. I usually reserve my gushing for celebrities in private ways. Yet this whole late-night debacle has spurred something in me to put my thoughts down in a very public fashion. Hell, I even wrote two open letters to NBC recently condemning their treatment of Mr. O'Brien in the past two weeks (which you can read here and here).

I seriously doubt anyone from Conan's staff will read this, let alone Conan himself, but these are words from the heart. I'm not going to venture into screaming-teen girl fan club mode (a la the Jonas Brothers). I'm not going to turn this into another round of Leno- or NBC-bashing. I'm going to respect Conan's wishes and not be cynical, and maintain a positive attitude throughout this epistle.

Dear Conan,

I was never able to stay up late enough all that often to catch your Late Night show. When I did I usually fell asleep around 1 AM, and I would like to point out it was not because of you. I either had class or work the following day, and it is impossible for me to operate on four hours sleep or less. (Please observe that I rise at the oh-so-lovely hour of 5:30 AM).

I remember the exact spot where I was when I heard, on WCBS 880, that you would take over the Tonight Show in 2009. I was in my car, waiting for the light to change, and quizzical thoughts started running through my mind. First of all, I thought, "Gee, didn't Johnny Carson just retire?" And then I thought, "My God, 2009 is so far away."

Well, five years passed, and soon, the news media was full of publicity about your inheritance to the throne once graced by not just Johnny Carson, but by Steve Allen and Jack Paar. Now that you were on an hour earlier, I could now watch you on a regular basis. And then I learned about Hulu. So whenever I fell asleep at 9 PM, I took comfort in the fact that I could always see your string dance on Firefox when I woke up the next morning.

And then on the eighth day, God created DVR. I never, ever worried about ever having to miss a show again. In fact, Conan, you helped me get my mornings off to a great start. I watched your monologue and your first comedy bits as I got ready for work. I'd make my coffee, grab my cereal, and have a leisurely breakfast with you, Andy, Max, LaBamba, and your entire crew. I thank you for making the mornings more bearable. This means a lot to me, for I am not a morning person.

I love your interviewing style. You just seem like a person whom anyone can relate to. Interviews with you are more like conversations with good friends: relaxed, open, and honest. Guests feel comfortable around you. And best of all, you don't suck up to anyone; you're very genuine.

Last night, Neil Young was on your show, and thanked you personally for supporting new music. Conan, if it weren't for your show, I wouldn't have Diane Birch, Lady Antebellum, Wilco, Vampire Weekend, and Julian Casablancas on my iPod. I realize that some of these artists have been around for a while, but they were new to me. You see, during my commute, and while I was at work, I would listen to either NPR or WCBS 880 and be in serious adult mode. Now I balance my serious adult mode with some playful tunes to help get me through the day: I get my information, but find time to be whimsical.

You also helped remind me that it's okay to be playful. In my circle of friends and loved ones, I'm known as the "quirky" one. The actress. The one who tries to find humor in all situations. The one who often finds herself at the expense of everyone's jokes. Often, I feel like the odd one out because of this. I have friends who have law degrees, PhDs, and are very successful in their careers as of their mid-30s. Sometimes it's hard to be around such an intelligent group of people. You help me remember to be myself--that I can be an intelligent professional and still embrace my quirkiness and goofy sense of humor. One can be witty and goofy without having to sacrifice class, honor, dignity, and respect.

Throughout this whole debacle, you have shown class, honor, dignity, and respect. I loved your "People of Earth" manifesto--it balanced your unique sense of humor with the respect for the tradition that is one of television's longest-running programs. I am including excerpts from this letter for the sake of my readers:

"In the last few days, I've been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I've been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I've been absurdly lucky...

"For 60 years, the “Tonight Show” has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the “Tonight Show” into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The “Tonight Show” at 12:05 simply isn’t the “Tonight Show.” Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the “Late Night” show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy...

"Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way."

Not only did you defend the Tonight Show tradition, you stood up for your Late Night successor, Jimmy Fallon. I thought that was one of the classiest parts of your letter; you were keeping an eye out for the new kid on the block, and that was very kind of you.

I have the last two weeks of your Tonight Show on my DVR, and I refuse to erase them. Once I figure out how to transfer them to DVD format (I need to back these recordings up somehow) I will. I will especially treasure, however, last night's episode. It was all very bittersweet. There was a lot of humor thrown in, with your montage of memorable clips from the past seven months (and there were many memorable clips in that montage), the exit interview with Steve Carell, and Tom Hanks walking out with two glasses of "scotch". (Imagine my disappointment when it turned out to be cream soda).

But your final monologue, at the end of your show, was what really got me. I actually cried at this one (sorry about the audio quality):

Yes, you took some very sharp jabs at NBC during your last few shows, but you didn't forget that the Peacock was the network that got you your start. Yes, NBC put you through the wringer very, very publicly, and in a very, very nasty fashion, but you still were classy enough to remember that they helped you out in the very beginning of your career, too. Yes, it is ironic what they did to you at the end of your tenure with them, especially considering that they really stuck by you when you began hosting Late Night, but through it all, you showed an enormous sense of gratitude.

If you look at my left sidebar, I have a section called "Poor Kitten's Almanac." I have listed in that section, Conan, a quote that has been attributed to you: "If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice." That is exactly what you've been doing throughout all this. I can't imagine what you're going through privately, but publicly, you have been very professional. Some have said that your recent jabs and jokes at NBC's expense have been in poor taste. Well, the fact that you have been showing up for work throughout it all, when some may call in sick, speaks volumes. The fact that you are supplementing some of your staff's severance from your own pocket speaks volumes. The fact that you reminded your viewers throughout the last days of your show to donate to the relief efforts in Haiti reminded us to keep things in perspective.

And then there are the reactions of your late-night peers. I saw the first few minutes of Jimmy Fallon's show last night, and was very lucky to see such a sweet tribute from him and his house band, the Roots:



That little baptism with the 40 oz. was awesome. So was Dr. Oz's reaction. Yet it was so weird to see Studio 6A be something so completely different.

One last thing, Conan: at the end of your show last night, you told your fans not to be cynical, and how much you hate cynicism. I have thought a lot about this remark. And then I questioned the very definition of the word. So I looked it up in my old Webster's American College Dictionary:

• cynic: 1. a person who believes that only selfishness motivates human actions and who disbelieves in or minimizes selfless acts or disinterested points of view. 2. a person who shows or expresses a bitterly or sneeringly cynical attitude. --cynicism, n.

Thank you, Conan, for reminding us that, in spite of everything that is going on in this world, there are still a lot of good, selfless, genuine people. You are one of them. I admired you has a comedian before, but now, I admire you as a person with genuine respect, class, and compassion.

I leave you now with the Neil Young performance from your last show. I just love the lyrics, and how they fit the occasion. That, and the performance was so very moving for me.

And I will listen to it again later.

For it's now on my iPod.

Long may you run, Conan, long may you run.

With much love,
The Bookkitten
http://thebookkitten.blogspot.com

Writers Workshop: Boredom Prevention 101 with Professor Kitten

Thanks to Mama Kat for the inspiration.

This week's prompt: "Write a list of 10 things that can be done to stave off boredom."

Here we go:

1. Sleep, glorious sleep
What better way to stave off boredom than to escape the world for a little while? And what better way to escape the world than a little catnap, which can turn into one long power snooze? None of us get enough sleep, so here's a perfect reason to do so.

2. Facebook
Yes, I know it's bad to be a slave to social media, but I understand why people are addicted to Facebook. It promotes voyeurism; it lets you be the nosy neighbor that you hated as a kid but love being as an adult. And let's not get started with all of those games and apps...and for some, groups...

3. iPod
Or whatever music provider you may have. The iPod's the best, though. Put it on shuffle, and you never know what tune is gonna come up. Granted, you have to have a good number of tunes in your library to make this option worthwhile. Papa Cat has only two CDs worth of music in his one gig iPod Shuffle, so this wouldn't work for him.

4. Starbucks
I'm talking about a trip to Starbucks, and not necessarily consuming the actual coffee. Park yourself in a corner, grab a book or the New York Times, or plug in your laptop and bum off the WiFi. The people watching opportunities at Starbucks are tremendous--especially if you manage to score an outside table.

5. Borders
See #4 for more info of what I'm talking about. That, and the thousands of books that are available for your perusal will surely peak your interest--that is, if you like books. If not, may I suggest Best Buy.

6. DVR
Boredom is the perfect time to catch up on all the backlogged shows that you haven't watched on the DVR. It's also the perfect time to watch those shows you refuse to erase.

7. Driving therapy
Get in the car, and go somewhere. Anywhere. Crank the radio up as loud as it can go and see where the music takes you. Of course, with the price of gas still going up, it looks like this may not be such a great alternative...

8. Retail therapy other than Borders
I don't go to the mall as much as I used to, but I can never resist a stop at the Clinique counter. Or Estee Lauder. Or Origins. Especially at free gift bonus time. ($50 minimum purchases be damned, though! I only take this into consideration when it's a DAMN good bonus.)

9. Magazines
I prefer People, US Weekly, and TV Guide to stave off boredom. Light, fluffy reads that won't tax my brain too much, but won't cause it to melt, either.

10. Baking
It can't be something fancy like souffle or cheesecake. Muffins and cookies work best for me--granted, I often eat the dough before they go in the oven.

2010: three weeks in...

• I can't stop thinking about the earthquake in Haiti, and its aftershocks. I know I need to stop watching CNN 24/7, but I can't. The stories are so compelling: stories of trying to find relatives, of rescuing victims, and attempts to get out of the country. The more I watch, the sadder I get, but like I said, I can't turn the TV off.
• I have a friend whose mother just had a brain tumor removed. It was a tricky surgery; the tumor was wrapped around her optic nerve. Yesterday, the doctors thought things were okay. Today, I receive an E-mail from my friend, saying that the vision in her mom's eye is gone. They don't know if it's permanent.
• I received a letter in the mail from my minister. She sent it to all of the members of our church. It was the announcement that she is leaving at the end of March. She really helped me through a difficult period of my life, and the feelings of loss started to creep in.
• I'm not happy about the results of the Massachusetts senate race. And that's all I'm saying about that.
• Friday night I'm singing at a memorial service. Even though my friend is viewing his sister's death as a blessing (she had numerous health problems during her final years), it doesn't make it any easier.
• I have a friend whose husband totaled his truck the other day. Good news: He escaped with only cuts and bruises. Bad news: They have no health insurance. They have to pay for the emergency room, cat scan, and other fees associated with the accident. They DO, however, have auto insurance.

I'm sorry that my posts have been more or less on the downside lately. I posted in my Facebook status the other day that 2010 is shaping up to be "one of those years." Lately my friends, loved ones, and I have been facing a lot of challenges, good and bad. The first two weeks were difficult for me, both at work and at home (more at work, though), and I was prepared to hide in a tent throughout the three-day weekend.

Yet...why is it that it takes events such as the ones I've listed above for me to gain perspective, and realize that I have a pretty good life as it is? I mean, I have a job, a house, insurance of all kinds, and my health. I can fulfill my basic human needs. Yet the people in Haiti were struggling well before the quake to get those needs taken care of. And far too many Americans don't have health care. (Again, do NOT get me started on the Massachusetts senate race...)

So that's where I am right now...wrestling to find perspective on various things, trying to find answers, and becoming impatient when I can't find them immediately.

Again, sorry for being a downer lately. I promise we'll be back to humorous, lighthearted Bookkitten programming soon.

The songs in my head: I'm Shipping Up to Boston

I am not a Red Sox fan, possess maybe a teaspoon of Gaelic blood, and have absolutely no connections to the city of Boston.

So how did I suddenly become a Dropkick Murphys fan? And a rabid one at that?

If you are a Red Sox fan, a hard-core Bostonian, so Irish that three-quarters of your blood is Guinness, or any or all of the above, then you know about Dropkick Murphys. Their song "I'm Shipping Up to Boston" is the walk-out song for Sox pitcher Jonathan Papelbon, who does a jig to this very song.

Not long ago, the Boston Pops released The Red Sox Album, which features music that is synonymous with their hometown team. Among the tracks on the album? A cover of "I'm Shipping Up to Boston."

The Boston Pops covered a Celtic punk band. OK, that was a selling point for me.

Now, Sister Kitten is a hard core Red Sox fan. So much so that she has requested Dropkick Murphys CDs for Christmas and birthday gifts. So one day, in Borders, I found their Tessie EP on sale. I bought it for her for Easter. "Tessie" was a song that was sung at Red Sox games around 1918, the last time the Sox won the series prior to 2004. During the 2004 series, Dropkick Murphys reworked "Tessie", it started getting played at games, and--well, you know what happened.

I've met various people over the years who absolutely worship Dropkick Murphys, and insist that I give them a listen. And finally, I have.

It took this year's NHL Winter Classic for me to finally get a taste of them. Granted, NBC only played 30 seconds of their live performance, but it was enough for me. I was hooked.

I downloaded their live album, recorded on Saint Patrick's Day. They perform in Boston each year on Saint Patrick's Day weekend, and their concerts are legendary--or, so I hear. I have not been to one yet. It's the perfect album to listen to when you need to get pumped for the day.

So, without further ado, here are Dropkick Murphys with "I'm Shipping Up to Boston."



P.S. Since I am a new fan, some of my facts may not be 100% straight. If you need to clarify some history for me, please let me know. You can also click here to go to their official website.

In need of some gift advice

My darling kittens--

This afternoon I received an Evite from a dear friend of mine who is throwing herself a 60th birthday party. After recovering from the shock that I had upon learning her age (I thought she was MUCH younger), I happily accepted her invitation.

And then, panic struck...the same panic that comes whenever one gets invited to a party.

THE GIFT.

I don't even remember what I got Mama Cat when she turned 60. Hell, she's gonna be 65 this year; what am I gonna get her to commemorate her Social Security eligibility, T-bills?

Now, my friend has been a very good friend to me for almost nine years. She's almost like a second mother to me. She trusts me with her pets, even after one accidentally ate a stick of butter. She always gives me little gifts and trinkets as a thank you for housesitting, but she's never given anything tres expensive.

So...I'm stuck. I don't want to spend too much money, but I don't want to come off looking like a cheapskate. She loves to travel, and anything to do with summer and Labrador retrievers. She does have a Pandora bracelet, so maybe I can get her a bead for it...

...but what if someone gifts her with the EXACT SAME BEAD?!?!?

ARRGH!!

The songs in my head: Pop! Goes My Heart

In 2007, Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore starred in a film called Music and Lyrics. I have not seen the film, but I have heard this wonderful song, which is a fantastic 80s parody and is instantly catchy.

I first heard this song a couple of years back, and really liked it, but couldn't find a copy of the soundtrack anywhere. And then, last week, it popped back in my head.

And yes, that is Hugh Grant on lead vocals.

This clip is apparently the intro to the film. I had no plans to see it, and then I saw Matthew Morrison's name in the opening credits.

Matthew Morrison.

AKA Will Shuester from Glee.

Maybe I should watch this movie after all...

Another open letter to the National Bullcrapping Company

Please click here to read my first letter. After reading the weekend's latest news, my anger continued to bubble up and I needed to write another correspondence.

Now, I am not the type of person to write to a television network about something that they did that angered me, such as canceling a show, but what NBC has done to Conan O'Brien and his staff is just plain...well, low is an understatement. Even members of Team Leno are admitting that NBC went too far this time.

I'm not even going to be articulate here. I'm just saying what is coming from my gut, and it ain't pretty.

Read on.

Dear NBC,

Since when did you become the JLN--that is, the Jay Leno Network? I can't believe that you are re-arranging your late-night schedule to cater to someone whom many believed was going to retire once his contract with the Tonight Show was up. What's worse, you're catering your entire late-night schedule just for the benefit of one person. ONE PERSON!!!

Even when Jay Leno was shifted to the 10 PM slot, he got as much--if not, more--promotion as he did when he hosted the Tonight Show! The Tonight Show is--or rather, after your current handling of the franchise, was--the gold standard in late-night entertainment. You pushed and pushed and pushed Leno's show as if it were the greatest thing in the digital age. As for Conan, the newest successor to the so-called late night gold standard? Hardly any promotion, compared to the bombardment and overexposure we have received for The Jay Leno Show.

As I wrote in my previous letter, Johnny Carson wanted David Letterman to be his successor. And how do you think Johnny Carson--Johnny Carson!!--felt when his wishes weren't honored? You dissed the most legendary host of late night TV, ever. Way to show your respect, NBC. Mr. Carson had a lot of class, unlike Mr. Leno, who has publicly whined--both in subtle and not-so-subtle ways--about how he was "pushed out" of his 11:35 time slot. Yeah, way to bow out gracefully.

And then there's Jeff Zucker, the man who got you into this whole mess. Does Jay Leno have him wrapped around his whole finger so tightly that he can get Zucker to provide him with someone to hold the tissue while he blows his nose? How is it that Leno's getting whatever the hell he wants?

And what's Zucker's beef with Conan? What the hell did Conan ever do to him? Many are recalling that Leno's ratings after he took over for Carson weren't so great either, at least in the beginning. And of course, there's Conan's story. Yes, he once worked, literally, from week to week, but you stuck with him, NBC, and he did a lot for you. And this latest treatment of him--this is the reward he gets for nearly seventeen years of loyalty?!?!

The logic here is ass-backwards, NBC. Let me get this straight: You're moving Leno back to 11:35 because his prime-time ratings were tanking. You feel this will make your affiliates happy, since the ratings for their 11 PM newscasts were sharply down--a result of the so-called "Leno Effect." So by moving a show that bombed in prime-time an hour and a half later, and half an hour before your esteemed Tonight Show, you feel that this will help? Yes, it may help the 11 PM affiliate newscasts, but how is it going to help Conan? You're setting Mr. O'Brien up to fail, NBC, and that is not fair. You're doing all that you can in your power to get Conan off the air and Leno back into the Tonight Show chair--but seriously, how many people are going to watch Mr. Leno after this fracas? Even his most die-hard fans are rapidly losing respect for him.

You've left me with no choice, NBC. I know this sounds a wee bit dramatic, but a lot of members of Team Conan--and there are a LOT of them--are planning to boycott your network, save for Conan's show. This is not an easy thing for me to do. While most of your schedule--well, I'm using the word "sucks" here because I can't think of a polite way to put it and still articulate my feelings--I get my news from Brian Williams, enjoy the programming offered on the Today Show, and love to watch my girl Tina Fey on 30 Rock.

Speaking of Tina Fey, do you recall what she said in her speech when she accepted the Best Comedy Emmy at the Prime-Time Emmy Awards last year? Allow me to remind you that she thanked you, NBC, for "keeping us on the air even though we're so much more expensive than a talk show."

Ouch.

Tina Fey and the crew at 30 Rock love to mock you. I can't wait to see what they do with this one--oh wait, I won't be watching! I'm boycotting your network! I forgot!

So NBC, let us now sit back and watch you become the first broadcast network to go under. You're already in the toilet; allow me to be one of millions to stand in line and take turns flushing.

The Bookkitten
http://thebookkitten.blogspot.com

An open letter to the National Bullcrapping Company

ATTENTION BLOGGERS, COMMENTERS, AND WEB SURFERS: I realize that there are a lot of strong feelings about the whole Leno-Conan debacle. If you haven't heard about what I am talking about, click here for the news.

If you read this blog frequently, you know that I am a huge Conan fan. What NBC is contemplating doing to him right now spurred me to write the following post.

Regardless if you play for Team Leno or Team Conan, and which brand of comedy you prefer, I welcome your comments. Those who fall in either camp are steadfastly supportive of their heroes. All I can say is: BRING. IT. ON.

Dear NBC,

You have been the bastion of many jokes for quite some time now. Lots of media outlets proclaim you the "fourth place network". This is true regardless of whether you consider the CW and MyTV to be actual networks--which they aren't, in my humble opinion.

Lots has been written, tweeted, and blogged about your prime time programming, especially with the addition of The Jay Leno Show to your lineup. When it was announced that the former Tonight Show host was now getting a 10 PM slot, there was lots of speculation as to why you had moved to that slot. Some said that they kept him at 10:00 to "protect Conan"; they were afraid he'd jump ship and kill Conan's ratings once he moved to the Tonight Show. Others, like me, felt it was a vast conspiracy: If Conan majorly bombed, and didn't bring the ratings the Peacock wanted, they had Leno as a backup.

Well, it looks like the latter theory has come to fruition, and it upsets me not just as a Conan fan, but also really saddens me as a human being.

I was a high school junior back in 1993 when it was announced that Jay Leno would succeed Johnny Carson as the host of the Tonight Show. Remember the firestorm that caused, NBC? Mr. Carson wanted his good friend David Letterman to be his successor, and then Letterman was so distraught that he up and left your network? And to think of the relationship that Carson and Letterman had; Carson was a true mentor to him. And when Carson died, was it Leno who did an entire tribute show to him upon his passing? No, NBC, it was Mr. Letterman, who did a beautiful tribute on his Late Show on CBS, complete with the following:

• Carson-era Tonight Show bumpers that appeared before and after commercials;
• former Tonight Show executive producer Peter Lassally as guest (yes, I know he also worked for Letterman, but still...);
• Carson's band leader, Doc Severinsen appeared as musical guest, playing his trumpet alongside Paul Shaffer in a loving tribute;
• an opening monologue full of jokes that Johnny Carson told throughout his years as Tonight Show host.

I was in the hospital when I saw Mr. Letterman's tribute to his beloved mentor, and I thought it was a classy, respectful, genuine way to say farewell to someone who meant a lot to him, professionally and personally. Jay Leno did not a tribute in as grand a scale on Johnny Carson's own TV show!!!

Speaking of David Letterman, say what you will about him and the sex scandal from a few months back, but let's give him some credit here, too. When Conan O'Brien succeeded him as the host of Late Night, there was a lot of doubt that he would succeed. David Letterman served as a mentor to him in his formative years, appearing on his show, and even sending his standby audience to 30 Rock to help him fill the seats.

Well, Mr. O'Brien did succeed, so much so that, back in 2004, he was named Jay Leno's successor to the Tonight Show. According to the press that I read at the time, NBC's wish was to avoid another Leno/Letterman succession fiasco.

Well guess what, NBC--that backfired. Big time.

It's bad enough that you had to do this to David Letterman. But to do it twice?!?! Conan moved across the country, not just with his writers and staff, but with his family (with two very young children, by the way) and their families. They've been out in Los Angeles for seven months now. You built a brand new studio for him on the Universal Studios lot. And now all of a sudden, you ring the bell and proclaim that recess is over?!?!

Consider Conan's backstory, NBC: here's a guy who once worked with you on a week-by-week contract. He once was a television writer who suddenly got his own show, succeeding a late-night legend. There are many who vehemently dislike Conan's humor, but even those who do have got to admire what it took him to get to where he is now. Everyone loves a success story such as Conan's.

Since I started writing this post half an hour ago, I cannot tell you how many tweets, Facebook groups, and blog postings have emerged in support of Conan. And the longer I'm on my Twitter account, reading the tweets that pop up since my initial search, hundreds more enter the feed. Ninety-five percent of said tweets have a favorable opinion of Mr. O'Brien.

I've been spending the last twenty minutes trying to think of a suitable conclusion to my angry letter, and all I can come up with is this: TEAM CONAN. Two words that so nicely summarize my feelings.

Conan, his family, and all those affiliated with the Tonight Show, deserve a helluva lot better.

The Bookkitten
http://thebookkitten.blogspot.com

The songs in my head: Nothing But a Miracle

Last week, when I had some time off, I caught up on all of the episodes of Conan I was behind on. On one of those episodes, this lovely young woman closed out the show with an AH-mazing performance.

Kittens, meet Diane Birch.

When Conan first announced that she was the opening act for Nick Jonas and the Administration on their sold out tour, I thought, "Ugh. Another teeny bopper." But I had seen her name all over iTunes, and saw that she had received raves for her first album, so I thought I'd check her out.

Oh. My. God.

A little background: The kid's 26 years old, and sounds like one of those classic 70s singer-songwriters like Carole King or Laura Nyro. She's the daughter of a preacher, and grew up all over the world. She lists church hymns and Beethoven as some of her biggest influences. She wasn't allowed to listen to pop music when she was a kid, which really surprises me, considering that her music and lyrics are well beyond her years.

You can find out more about Diane and her music by clicking here. This will take you to her official website.

Diane's performance from The Tonight Show isn't on YouTube, but here's her performance from The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson back in June of '09! (I just had to write that!) In fact, this is her television debut.

Please sit back and enjoy, kittens. I guarantee that you'll love this clip. In fact, afterwards, do yourself a favor and do what I did after listening to one song: buy the whole damn album. You won't regret it!

P.S. She needs to headline her own tour--RIGHT NOW. Sorry, kittens, but I'm not paying to see a Jonas brother.

The songs in my head: What up with that?

Lately, kittens, there have been MANY songs in my head. MANY. So many that I have to break up my regular SIMH posts into several. (And so many that I had to use an acronym...and y'all know how I loathe textspeak).

Anyhoo, this first one comes from one of the funnier sketches from Saturday Night Live this season. Kenan Thompson stars as the host of a fake BET talk show, What Up With That? There are so many funny elements to this sketch: the singing, the dancing, the juxtaposition of guests...it really defies description. I laughed and laughed and laughed.

So rawther than me babble on about it, here's a sample of what you can find:



Enjoy.

The Queen's Meme: The Band Meme

I haven't done one of Mimi's memes in a rawther long time, but this one was quick and too good to pass up:

It's a musical meme0-matic! Here's how it goes. You are about to have your own band's CD cover. Follow these directions to the letter. My tagee list is at the bottom of this post. It's fun and requires no thought at all. Go to......

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random

The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3

Go to the bottom of the page and find the NEW RANDOM QUOTATIONS button. Click it. The last four words of the very last quote that appears on the page is the title of your album.

3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/

The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post the result.

Well, I managed to figure out everything, and here's the final result:

My band, The Algebra of Ice, will start its world tour March 20th--the day of the spring equinox.

Now that I've figured out graphics, I can finally make a Peace Globe!

The Bookkitten's iPod playlist: New Year's 2010 edition

It's nearly 2:20 AM and I have to be at church in less than seven hours, but I figure the early rising time will help me prepare for my return to work on Monday. I really shouldn't be writing a post, but I needed to share my New Year's 2010 playlist with y'all. So here goes:

(And yes, there are stories behind my choices, but I don't want to stay up too late articulating the reasons behind my selections).

1. "The Story," Brandi Carlile
2. "A Long December," Counting Crows
3. "I'm Shipping Up to Boston," Dropkick Murphys
4. "Pop! Goes My Heart," Hugh Grant
5. "Nothing But a Miracle," Diane Birch
6. "Going Up the Country," Kitty, Daisy, and Lewis
7. "Rehab," the cast of Glee
8. "Polly Put the Kettle On," Kitty, Daisy, and Lewis
9. "The State of Massachusetts," Dropkick Murphys
10. "Free Me," Joss Stone
11. "Better Together," Jack Johnson
12. "Fame," Irene Cara
13. "If You're Into It," Flight of the Conchords
14. "Valentino," Diane Birch
15. "Beautiful as You," Overseas
16. "I Say a Little Prayer," the cast of Glee
17. "Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)", the Chipettes
18. "Hair/Crazy In Love," the cast of Glee
19. "Sweet Caroline," the Boston Pops (From The Red Sox Album, a tribute to all of the songs that the Red Sox play during their games at Fenway)
20. "Fire Escape," Diane Birch
21. "Song For Megan," Talking to Walls
22. "Banana Pancakes," Jack Johnson
23. "Gold Digger," the cast of Glee
24. "11th Dimension," Julian Casablancas
25. "Take a Bow," the cast of Glee
26. "Taking Chances," the cast of Glee
27. "Alone," the cast of Glee
28. "You Keep Me Hangin' On," the cast of Glee
29. "It's My Life/Confessions Pt. II," the cast of Glee
30. "Too Many Dicks (On the Dance Floor)," Flight of the Conchords
31. "Mercy," the cast of Glee
32. "Staple It Together," Jack Johnson
33. "Belle," Jack Johnson
34. "Carol Brown," Flight of the Conchords
35. "I Wish It Was Christmas Today," Julian Casablancas
36. "Don't Stop Believin'," the cast of Glee

OK...2:30 AM...good night, kittens!