The Call of the Chia

I went to bed early last night...well, 10:30 is early for me. I put the TV on sleep mode and turned on the news. I know it's not exactly healthy to watch the news as you're falling asleep, so I made a compromise: I put on The Daily Show. (And what woman wouldn't want to dream about Jon Stewart, hmm?)

Anyhoo, as I was drifting off, I heard it...that familiar call, as I have heard over many a holiday season...

"Ch-ch-ch-CHIA!"

Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhh, nooooooooooooooooooooo...

Would my dreams be turned to nightmares? Fortunately, no, although I was thinking about Chias a lot more this morning than I did the day before.

What exactly is it about Chia Pets that are so fascinating? I have never known anyone to buy one personally for themselves, yet they must sell awfully well, for they come back, year after year after year. And you can't find chia refill seeds in stores!

Plus, the novelty wears off tres rapidement. Well, I really shouldn't say that, for if the novelty wore off so fast, how would Chia Pets have secured a permanent place in American pop culture?

Sister Kitten, when she was in middle school, begged for a Chia Pet for Christmas. I mean, begged for it. She got one--a little Chia turtle, which she christened Emerson. She took great care of Emerson--watered him every day, talked to him, encouraged him to grow--and he did indeed grow a downy little shell. He didn't grow to the puffiness that you see in the Chia Pet commercials, but he did grow a nice little coat.

Eventually, Emerson's coat died, and he became a little terra cotta turtle once again. Sister Kitten kept Emerson for a few years; I think he's still in her old bedroom at our parents' house. The memory of Emerson, however, has turned into an "Omigod, I can't believe I actually wanted a Chia Pet for Christmas" sort of memory, almost like an embarrassment.

So today, as I drove to work, I got the fanciful idea that, in order to cheer myself up this Christmas, maybe I should get a Chia pet of my own, and document its growth on the blog. Only I would write the blogs from the Chia's point of view: "Hola! Yo soy Lucia la Chia! That's Loo-CEE-uh!"

I then decided against it, for several reasons.

One, I wasn't about to go out of my way to find a Chia Pet. I was at Big Lots and Ocean State Job Lot this evening, doing some Christmas shopping, and not a single Chia was to be found.

Secondly, what would I do with the Chia afterwards? Yeah, it would make a conversation piece, but I could just imagine having people over going, "I can't believe you actually owned a Chia Pet. In your adult life!"

So came an end to a blog series that will only exist in my imagination: Las Aventuras de Lucia la Chia.

I kinda regret it, if only because the title sounds so snappy.