Saturday 9: Wedding bell blues

1. If you have been or are married, tell us about your wedding. If you are not, tell us how would you want it to be.
Well, if the big day ever happens, I'd like to keep it small. I hail from a large Italian family, so this is impossible. Papa Cat is going to hand me a list of people whom I haven't seen since infancy and inform me that they have to be invited. In an Italian family, that's what you do.

That's about all I know right now. If I meet the right person, I'll give you more details. Right now I ain't gotta clue as to what my wedding would be like. Haven't given it much thought other than the size.

2. What age would you encourage your children to get married?
Late 20s/early 30s. I'd like for them to have the ability to be independent and take care of themselves (do laundry, cook, balance a checkbook) before they get hitched.

3. Who got married at the last wedding that you attended?
What WAS the last wedding I attended? Oh yeah...I think it was one of my neighbors. It was his 4th marriage, his wife's 3rd. The minister, after the readings, asked him, "What the hell are you thinking?"

4. Do you enjoy weddings and receptions?
For the most part, yeah. It all depends on who else got invited. Once I went to a wedding where I was the only one who knew the bride, but everyone else at my table was really friendly, so that made things a lot easier. It's not so much fun when people aren't so welcoming.

5. Have you cried at a wedding?
I have, yes.

6. Would you prefer a lavish event or a intimate ceremony?
See #1.

7. Have you ever been in some one’s wedding party? If yes, do tell.
I was a bridesmaid when my best friend from college got married. Her anniversary was this past Tuesday. I haven't seen her since her wedding day. We just kinda drifted apart.

8. Does a wedding make you happy and sentimental or grouchy and skeptical?
It depends on the circumstances of why the couple is getting married. I've been to a couple of weddings where I wasn't sure that the couple was marrying for the right reasons. In one case, my gut was right. They ended up divorcing a few years later.

9. Why do you think our divorce rate is so high?
There are a number of reasons. I think a lot of women get married for the sheer romance of having the white dress, the flowers, and the bridesmaids. I also think there are a lot of women who marry out of panic; they feel that if they're not married by a certain age, they've failed. There are some who think that marriage will correct the negative traits of their partners, or it will automatically make them more responsible people.

I've never been married, but I do know that relationships take a lot of work. There's a lot of compromise and give and take involved in their maintenance. They can't just function on love alone. Love is the foundation of any relationship, but it's not the sole factor that determines its success.