Mimi, Queen of Memes, is back for round two of another delicious questionnaire. Click on the button below if ya wanna avoid the dungeon.
1. You are a guest on the space shuttle. You just arrived on the moon and realize you forgot something back home that you can't live without. What is it and how do you convince them to go back and fetch it?
Ya want me to be honest here? My iPod, folks. Seriously. It only leaves my purse when I'm listening to it in the gym or at home as I'm doing chores. And how do I convince them to go back? Easy. I'll threaten to drive the shuttle for the rest of the trip. As I said last week, I have a lead paw. I'm also the worst driver in my inner circle--ask anyone. They've got stories.
2. Pretend you are a teacher in a rough public school for one day. You have been assigned to teach Manners 101. You have the "challenging bad butt kids" class (remember this is a pretend school and anyway I can't say ass on my blog 'cause it's so unQueenly and I might get fined or something). They are jumping up and down, cursing, and throwing things at you. What is the first thing you would write on the board?
I'd write my name on the board, followed by, "No one leaves this room until they are absolutely silent--even if it's till 5 PM." Then I'd sit back at my desk, calmly, and wait for them to be quiet. The key here is non-reaction; these kids see you react once, even in the littlest bit, and they're all over you. Yes, I know it's easier said than done, but silence is more effective than screaming at their level.
3. Someone in your family or a friend has started a blog. They think it is anonymous but you have figured it out. They are saying derogatory things about you. Do you tell them or do you read it for awhile? How would you handle it?
I'd read for a while until I was absolutely sure it was a friend or family member, gather enough evidence. Then I'd wait to calm myself down and contact them, and tell them, honestly, how I felt. But I need to be sure I have enough clues to make sure my case is rock solid.
If it was someone I was really close to, I'd be really, really wounded. If it was someone who was more of an acquaintance than anything else, I'd still be hurt, but maybe not as much. Maybe. You all know I tend to take things way too personally.
4. If you had one dollar left in your pocket, what would you spend it on?
Seriously, what does a dollar get you these days? It doesn't get you a gallon of gas or a small coffee--anywhere. Even 99 cent coffee is more than a dollar when you include tax. Up in my parts, a dollar and a nickel could get you that small coffee. So I'd scavenge my couch cushions and car seats for the elusive nickel, and treat myself to a Dunkin' Donuts French Vanilla.
5. President Obama and the First Lady are coming over for dinner. What do you serve?
Are they just dropping in or is this a planned visit? If they were just dropping in, they'd have to have whatever's in my fridge. If it's a planned affair, they'd get pork chops, homemade mac n' cheese, and homemade applesauce. As you know, that's my favorite meal, and if it's good enough for me, it's good enough for Barack and Michelle Obama.
6. You walk in on your lover. They are trying on your clothes. What do you do?
I'd choose an outfit that I thought looked good on him. I'd go along with it. However, if he wore my clothes outside, I'd find a new guy.
7. Every astronaut must have shots! Choose your vaccination: You only get one and you can't enjoy any of the attributes of the other choices. You choose either: (1) The fountain of eternal youth and sexual vigor but only for 10 years (2) perfect health for a lifetime (3) eternal mind-numbing nirvana and peace of mind (4) unlimited hedonism for one year with no negative consequences.
Perfect health for a lifetime. What happens when that ten-year period of eternal youth expires? Do I automatically age ten years? Secondly, I don't want my mind to be totally numbed. You have to accept both the good and bad emotions in life in order to be completely human. Too much of a good thing is never a good thing. I know some of you will disagree with me on that, but as I've said before, I am highly suspicious of people who seem to lead absolutely perfect lives, people who have what I call "the Pollyanna Complex." I'll write a post on that in the near future.
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