Friday, January 9, 2009

Blah on the blog

I know this blog has been a crashing bore of late.

In fact, this blog's current minimalist appearance matches my mood.

Blah, bleh, meh...whatever you wanna call it, I'm in the midst of the January Blahs.

They come every year, like clockwork. They start somewhere after I've come home from the New Year's bash that by best friend holds every year, and they officially take hold of my psyche the minute I wake up on January 2nd. They usually leave around the first week of March, which, coincidentally, is when my birthday falls. They make February, the shortest month in calendar days, the longest one for me.

It doesn't help that the world outside is totally devoid of color. It doesn't help that we've been getting snowstorm after snowstorm here in Connecticut and that I've been snowbound several times. It doesn't help that every morning, I wake up and drive to work facing the same color palette: grey, brown, and white, with the occasional blue sky thrown in for good measure.

I know a lot of it is psychological. Lots of people call refer to this time of year as "the winter doldrums." It's the feeling that some people get after the holiday season: you're going from event to event or party to party, or you're shopping for gifts, or you're just plain giddy from the tidings of the season in general.

And now all the hustle and bustle is over, what?

For me, every year, regardless of my emotions during the holidays (be it a great holiday season, or a so-so one like this past one), I'm always going, going, going, and then January hits, and then--BOOM! Letdown. As in, "OK, what do I do with my time now, since the weather doesn't let me go out much and it's just too damn cold outside?"

I realized in the past year that some of my feelings may actually be physically related. During my last physical, my GP drew blood work, and upon analysis, found that I have a vitamin D deficiency.

Vitamin D. The sunshine vitamin.

I don't get in the sunlight too often during the winter, and the sun directly affects one's mood...


Is there a connection? I think so. My doctor started me on vitamin D supplements, and I've noticed an improvement in my energy levels and my mood. It also helps that I've been seeing a therapist over the past year for the depression I've had on and off throughout my life.

In spite of these measures, I've still got the blahs, but they're not as draining as they've been in the past.

I'm still going to feel blah, bleh, meh, or whatever you wanna call it for the time being, though. It's a feeling I don't get over until spring, when the sun shines more and color returns to the earth.

And despite what people say, white, is NOT a color.

Which reminds me, we've got another friggin' snowstorm coming tomorrow. Sigh...

***UPDATE, 5:14 pm: I go to change the template, and am finally successful, and what do you know?!?! MY WIDGETS ARE GONE!!! Now my mood has gone from bad to worse...

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